Aroused and horny from no masturbation

 I hope the anonymous commenters don't mind when a comment is used in a blog post, but it often seems like they are a good reference or a good place to start.

I can't say that I am horny or aroused every second of the day, but I'm definitely a aroused and horny a whole lot more than I was or would be before I became prohibited from masturbating. 

So many more things have an erotic feel to them than ever before. Things like being stuck in traffic or having to wait in line for something are now erotic in some way for me. Those things may not cause an erection for me directly, but without me even thinking about it or being immediately aware of it, I will begin rubbing between my legs. In most cases I notice I'm doing it pretty quickly and make myself stop doing it.

In traffic while driving, the urgency to stop doing it seems lesser, so I may even continue doing it then until I do have an erection. I may even continue beyond that, but once I do have an erection now, I know that I am already not too far away from cumming.  Where edging might have lasted for minutes when I could still masturbate often, it now can only last from a few seconds to less than a minute after I have an erection and my dick is being stimulated. Now I have to stop right away because of the risk of cumming and violating that requirement. 

When I do it while waiting in line somewhere, I stop it as soon as I realize I'm doing it, even though by then I have already done it a little bit and any others around could have noticed me doing it. I usually try to mask it by acting as though I was scratching an itch or adjusting something between my legs. It's not the ideal masking, but it seems better than being seen stimulating myself. 

In public I also have to be very wary of doing it, since if I'm wearing the jeans with the large hole in front it's possible for my shirt to end up being lifted up higher. If it lifts up with the current size of the hole, it would enable anyone nearby to see into the hole. At the very least it would reveal that I had nothing on under my pants. More than likely it would enable a view of my dick, and also part of my balls now that the hole has gotten larger. 

I also stop doing it when in public because if I get an erection, especially wearing the jeans with the hole, it's really hard to hide the bulge with my shirt. An erection is now more likely than ever to stick out of the hole, so if my shirt happens to lift up when it's sticking out it would be clearly exposed to everyone within sight.

As of April 29th of 2023 I have managed to obey the requirement of not cumming for 118 days straight so far, and I don't dare violate it or disobey and disrespect what others have decided about it. 

It's still endlessly frustrating to have to stay horny and so turned on for so much of the time, but the frustration isn't just pure everyday frustration. It's not easy to explain, but it's a strange sort of frustration. It's a kind of erotic and sexual frustration that's unique and separate from just basic frustration.  

I never know how to expect it to make me feel at any given time. I get urges to do things that don't seem to make sense for the situation, and ones I know I can't act upon, but the urges do still come.

One example is something that occurs while I'm working. I paint houses and other structures for a living, and when I'm outside and up high on a ladder trying to paint something hard to reach and tedious where accuracy and neatness are required, I can suddenly get the urge to just stop and remove all of my clothes and throw them as far away as possible. I just suddenly feel like I am supposed to be up there completely naked at least until I finish the task in front of me, if not also for the rest of the day. It's not even always a matter of wanting to do it, but it's feeling as though I'm supposed to.

I don't know why that urge occurs, but it's occurred several times since I haven't been masturbating. 

Any time that my pants where my dick is or just my uncovered dick rubs up against anything, it feels stimulating and reminds me of how aroused or near to being aroused that I am. Depending on what I'm doing at the time and how involved in something that I am at the time, the rubbing and stimulation can cause an erection. In any case I can really only acknowledge my arousal and try to deal with it as best as I can, since I know there's nothing else I can do about it. 

Being so horny and aroused for so much of the day, and even at night is not all bad in spite of the sexual frustration that comes along with it. It's amazing to me how quickly and easily I get an erection now, almost but not quite like when starting puberty. Only now I know and understand a lot more about it than I did back then. My dick has become very sensitive to any stimulation compared to when I could regularly masturbate and probably overly masturbate.

Involuntarily humping the bed at night while sleeping or even occasionally voluntarily humping it never felt so good as it does now in spite of the fact that at the time I'm exposed naked while doing it and almost certainly being seen through a window at times doing it.

I don't ever seem to get angry or upset about being so aroused and horny or the fact that I can't have relief. Aside from being horny and aroused, it's mainly just the sexual frustration of knowing I have to stay that way all of the time. I can only assume the reason I don;t get upset is because so many others so far have decided that I deserve to have to stay aroused and horny. I just can't escape the fact that since that's what's mostly been decided so far, that it must be true that I deserve to have to stay aroused and horny. I can't exactly be upset about something if it's what I deserve.  

As for whatever the eventual final result is on the decisions on masturbating or intentionally being allowed to climax, I realize that others know much, much better than me about what what result I deserve, and the final majority decision is sure to be the right one, and the one I deserve. 

 

Of course the poll for deciding upon my masturbation is still open and will remain open until February 1st of 2024 for those who might wish to include their decision.

https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K 

 

 

New blog site:

 Several suggestions and requests have been received for a blog to be created on a new site in order for others to be able to leave comments.

No site could be found that functions like Blogger did before the issue developed where comments cannot be left anonymously.

The closest that could be found was on WordPress. It was selected mostly because it does say it allows adult content, which many other blog sites do not allow.

Commenting may be a different story though, since there may be some requirements for being able to comment. I have used the blog settings to try to make commenting as lenient as possible. I'm not positive, but I believe that comments can be left without any identification of the commenter, but having an account there still may be necessary. 

The link to the blog is: https://blog08633.wordpress.com/

I did create a post there a while back just to see if there would be any issues or if the post would be flagged or something, but so far there's been no issues. 

A recent post here on Blogger has been duplicated on the WordPress blog. As much and as often as possible, all posts on Blogger will also be posted on the WordPress blog so that all posts are available on both blog pages. 

NOTE: It seems that the new blog does allow anonymous comments. The lines below the comment box that ask for an email address and other things can just be ignored. If they are left blank a submitted comment will post as anonymous.

Unfortunately the comment won't post immediately and apparently I have to enable it to show up the next time I visit the page, which of course I will always do as soon as possible.

Current status of blue jeans with holes

The hole on the front of the blue jeans no longer just grows a little larger after going through the washing machine and the dryer. Each time the hole now grows significantly larger.

I'm finding myself in a tough spot now, since I did commit to wearing them until someone actually says something negative or derogatory to me about the hole or what they see through the hole, but it's now extremely difficult to keep the hole covered in public with even the longer t-shirts that I have.

Some photos of the current size of the hole in front:

I did try shifting my dick to the opposite side of where the hole is, but my dick always shifts back to the side with the hole within a short time, especially when walking. 

Before now it was possible for my soft dick to hang down low enough for my whole dick not to be exposed, but the hole had now extended down far enough that it's almost fully exposed unless my shirt can be kept pulled down over the hole. 

If someone stood close enough to me and looked down into the hole, they would even see part of my balls along with my dick. 

My soft dick now also now flops out of the hole very easily and often, and only the bottom of my t-shirt prevents it from being exposed. Any erection I get now sticks up and out through the hole and causes an obvious raised area under my t-shirt. Even when my erection s covered by the shirt, the bulge under my shirt cannot be hidden. Anyone who would see it would basically know that I had an erection right then. 

It's now pretty humiliating to wear the jeans anywhere in public since even if my dick isn't directly exposed and can stay covered by my t-shirt,  the effort it takes to keep it covered and any visible bulges still reveal a lot.

If there hadn't been a commitment for continuing to wear them, the jeans would rarely if ever be worn in public. I'm thinking about limiting the times they are worn or wearing them less often than they have been worn up until now, but I'm not sure how much that would effect the commitment to wearing them.

 

Anonymously submit a chosen penalty for my requirement violation

 A sort of survey has been created to enable anonymously listing a penalty for my violation of a requirement. The requirement violated was my failure to include mandatory photos in a recent email, which are required to be included in each and every email sent by me or replied to by me. 

It has become clear to me that some deem it necessary that a penalty must be implemented for me for this or any violation of any of my requirements. A chosen penalty can be listed here:

https://poll-maker.com/Q5Z21IJM3

In order for me to be unable to hide or conceal anything anonymously submitted, the current results are available here:

http://www.poll-maker.com/S-Quiz-Results?qp=2866738x83dD9b03-125 

A penalty deemed fitting for my violation can be listed along with some detail about it, and one must ultimately come from those listed that are possible to be implemented. 

One recent comment received on the "Secret Message" page lists a potential penalty, although it leaves the details open.

Depending on the number of results and any similarities between them, they may end up in a short duration poll for one to be chosen over the others through voting.

Even though there being a penalty does make me a little bit anxious and maybe a bit nervous, I realize that it can't always just be dismissed when I fail to follow a requirement. I realize that just because I'm obeying other requirements it doesn't excuse not obeying all of them. 

Obviously any penalty received shouldn't require any violation of other requirements, such as the requirement that I spend every night exposed naked to others through a window, or the current requirement that I cannot intentionally cum or ejaculate. 

Since any violation of any requirement by me is essentially disrespecting and failing to obey decisions made by others, it can only be others who decide upon any penalty I receive. 

Once again, the photos I failed to include in an email, and ones that are required to be in each and every email sent by me or replied to by me are:

Any choices of a penalty submitted will be listed here:

1)  Get yourself as close to the edge as possible without cumming before leaving home. Wear the jeans with the hole. Go someplace public (mall, department store, etc.). Keep yourself as on edge while driving without cumming. Once you get to the public place go to the bathroom or dressing room. Leave the door unlocked (accidentally). Edge yourself a total of 5 times with 5 minutes in-between getting as close to cumming as possible without cumming. You are to then walk around the store for 20 minutes keeping yourself as close to on edge as possible without cumming in any way possible (feeling yourself through your packets, thrusting your hips, whatever). Pictures should be taken during this to show your humiliation and frustration at not being able to cum. The pictures and a detailed account of what happened should be posted.

2) Since your violation had to do with not being properly exposed naked, your penalty should be to be exposed the same way as in one of the pictures you failed to send. You have to be exposed naked all night anyway so your neighbors all see you. After it's dark outside and at least an hour before your usual time for going to bed, make sure your blind is up, that your room is lit up like it has to be all night, and get on your bed completely naked. Have your bare ass aimed towards the window as close to the window as possible while staying on the bed. Raise you ass up and lower your shoulders and head down onto the bed, and then stay like that for one full hour without moving for an reason, every night for two full weeks (14 nights) in a row. If you skip even one night you have to start all over again. The pose has to be just like in one of the pictures you were supposed to send. Since you didn't send it, you should have to be exposed like that in real time and in person for long enough for other people to see you.

Potential penalties for failing to follow or obey requirements and obligations

 The topic has arisen of there being a penalty of some sort for me if or when I fail to follow or obey any requirement or obligation that has been decided for me, or one that I am expected to follow.

It is my intent to always try to remain in compliance with all requirements and obligations, but if or when I do fail to comply with one or more of them at any time, it can't very well be disputed that there should be some penalty or punishment for my failure.

Recently I did fail to comply with one obligation, which requires that three "signature photos" always be included in any email sent by me or in any reply sent by me. This was noticed by someone who was aware that this obligation existed for me, and they informed me of my failure. 

The required "signature photos":

 

I did fail to notice that the photos were not included before sending the email, but I realize that there's no distinction between an oversight on my part and intentionally excluding the photos. If a penalty is deemed necessary for me for this infraction, then I realize that I would just have to accept it.

It is only proper for others to decide if a penalty for this is in order, and if so, what that penalty would be. 

Just as with other requirements for me, such as being required to sleep naked, uncovered, with lights on, and with a window uncovered, the requirement that I strip naked on demand or request when encountered in person, and the current requirement that I do not masturbate or intentionally cum or ejaculate, I cannot very well expect to avoid some form or penalty or punishment if I fail to obey those requirements at all times or in all situations.

For lack of a better way to provide input, thoughts, or ideas anonymously, the "Secret Message Book" site would be the best way to convey any input to me in the topic.

https://secret.viralsachxd.com/91c89b4db 

If anonymity is not a preference, then I can be emailed directly at

DaveS113065@gmail.com

or

DaveS113065@yahoo.com

If a penalty is in order, perhaps a short list of potential penalties can be complied, and one reasonable and also fitting one could be chosen through voting or through some similar means.

Photogrpahed naked in bed by unknown viewer.

 Two of my permanent requirements appear to have come together recently. 

The requirement that my PC remain accessible through the Teamviewer or Anydesk apps, and the requirement that I spend every night in bed or while asleep being exposed naked through a window have apparently been utilized by someone unknown.

Teamviewer address: 1 054 262 400 Password: Nakedandexposed1

Anydesk address: 990 573 524 Password: Showmystuff1

Everything about it remained unknown to me for well over a day, and the only evidence that it occurred was found in a folder on my PC. Four photos showing me naked in bed were taken at a time when I was still asleep in bed.

The photo information shows the photos were taken between 6:00AM and 6:30AM, well before the time when I woke up.  

A webcam always remains set up and in place that when activated on my PC, will show me naked in bed at night, although it does malfunction at times and will only show a black screen, especially if not activated for many hours. On those occasions the only solution is to unplug the camera and then plug it back into the PC. On this night (morning) the camera seems to have worked just fine.

The cameras main purpose is to enable others to access it and my PC to ensure or verify that I am obeying the requirement to remain naked and exposed for the entire night, every night.

The camera can enable it to be seen that I am completely naked, that no covers are being used, that the light level is sufficient to expose me, and that the window is uncovered with the outside being visible to some degree. 

It also just enables me to be observed naked by anyone who just wishes to see me, and for photos to be taken using the camera. Photos such as those already mentioned:

Since no record or information of any kind is available or recorded when my PC is accessed, unless some page or folder is left open by whoever is accessing my PC, I never know if or when it may have occurred. Often even this isn't enough, since I often think that it was me who left something open or loaded.

The photos shown are literally the only way I was aware of any access, and I became aware only when the photos were eventually seen by me in a folder. I knew that I had nothing to do with them being taken, and also that I had been asleep in bed at the time when they were taken. 

It's unknown if the copies left on my PC were the only copies, or if they were also copied or transferred by whoever took them. It's possible that whoever took them was aware that any photo or video of me naked taken by anyone else actually belong to that person, and is entirely their property, and that I can only have a copy or use them if I was left or given a copy by them. Since a copy of them was left on my PC, it's assumed that they were left for me to have, since whoever took them could easily have deleted them even after any transfer of them occurred. 

Even though the obvious purpose for being exposed every night is so that I have no shred of privacy, and so that I am seen freely by others with no way to restrict who sees me, the photos serve to reinforce that fact. They show that someone was actually seeing me while I was being exposed for others (nearby) to freely view. As it often is, I am not aware of it occurring at the time, but it does most certainly occur.  

In the photos, there's no real sign that anyone was seeing me through the window at those moments, but I was being seen on camera by someone unknown. 

When awake and aware of being exposed or seen, it's usually possible to at least try to limit or restrict how much is seen or who is seeing the exposure. While asleep and oblivious to being seen, I remain entirely exposed with no real limits or restrictions. 

No matter how deeply I sleep or for how long I remain asleep, there's no escaping the fact that my naked body always remains fully exposed to be seen, observed, and looked at by anyone with the ability or the desire to view it. 

More anonymous comments on jeans with holes. (Updated)

 A couple more anonymous comments have been received about the jeans with holes in them. https://secret.viralsachxd.com/91c89b4db

It's unknown whether both are from a single commenter or if they came from different commenters.

If they are from the same commenter, then one comment basically explains the other. If not, then some clarification may be helpful about the second comment.

It's easy to understand the first one.

The second one is a little harder to understand, so hopefully the commenter can clarify their meaning a bit.

I think it means to give up on wearing the jeans due to the size of the hole, but just in case it means to give up on something else it would be better to be sure. Does it mean to give up wearing the jeans, or something like giving up trying to hide or cover the hole? Maybe the commenter can leave another anonymous comment that clarifies what should be given up on.

I don't want to misinterpret the intended meaning.

Giving up on wearing the jeans would mean reneging on a commitment for them to be worn until a negative comments is made about them by someone in public.

Giving up any attempt to conceal the hole or limit others view of it would be humiliating and possibly take some effort, at least during times I was aware of which jeans were being worn, and could possibly result in someone who knows me or someone I see on a regular basis seeing all that the hole enables them to see. Quite a few random others would also be enabled to see freely into the hole. 

It would also require an effort to be made to keep any erections from protruding through the hole. 

Even if I resisted or gave up on attempting to cover or conceal the hole, I could not just ignore an erection sticking right out through the hole in public. 

UPDATE: 4/21/2023

One additional anonymous comment received about the jeans with the holes in them.

With the comments being anonymous, it's impossible to to know if the comments are from one person or multiple people. 

Newest comment:

"Giving up" in that way is much easier said than done, since when I'm aware of my dick showing through the hole, it's almost instinctive to try to keep it covered or concealed. I may not always succeed at it, but it's hard not to at least try.

It's pretty inevitable that at some point trying to hide or conceal my exposure will fail, either due to me not realizing the extent of my exposure or failing to maintain coverage, or simply due to the hole growing too large for concealment to be possible. At that point all I can do is to relate what occurred, the reactions of others, and the extent of my humiliation.

Additional times being naked in front of or near window.

 A recent anonymous comment received at: https://secret.viralsachxd.com/91c89b4db mentioned how I'm in front of the window naked each time I get out of bed in the morning. 

Photos or video may not show it, but I can only get out of bed on the side of the bed closest to the window. A narrow area on the other side of the bed has a few boxes and other things stored there, so there is no way to stand up onto that side of the bed. 

When I'm about to get into bed, and each time I get out of bed, it's actually necessary for me to be in front of the window. Whether day or night, anyone looking at that time would be sure to see me. 

The glare of daylight can obscure the view of the outside in photos, but in reality that's not the case.

Nearly every time I dress or undress, it occurs in front of the window, simply because that's the most open and clutter free area available. If I'm wearing clothing before getting into bed for some reason, they are removed near the window. I climb into bed near the window before spending the night exposed through the window. 

The window sill is 30 inches (76.2 centimeters) above the floor, and the top of my bed is 36 inches (99.44 centimeters) above the floor, so my bed is 6 inches (15.24 centimeters) higher than the window sill. From outside, my entire mattress with me on it can easily be seen all night long.

If I do get out of bed during the night, it places me in front of the window naked, just as it does when I get out of bed in the morning. 

After spending another whole night exposed naked through the window, it feels futile for me to bother trying to limit any further exposure. The permanent requirement that I spend the entire night exposed naked prohibits any attempt at hiding or concealing anything, so over the six months it has been in effect I have gotten into the habit of not even trying to limit my exposure all night or in the morning. 

It's endlessly humiliating to have to remain exposed to anyone nearby all night and in the morning even after daylight, so it seems quite strange to me that I am in now in the habit of being exposed almost automatically, while all the while feeling the humiliation of it all. 

A good deal of the humiliation felt is probably due to knowing that my naked body is essentially public during these times, for anyone to see, and from knowing that I have been seen and will for sure continue to be seen naked by neighbors and any other random person who looks. I guess I get as much privacy as I deserve though.

Possibly publicly exposed wearing jeans with hole

 On a recent day, I had a few things to do which required going to multiple public locations. The list of things grew from just one to several things. Due to other issues occurring at the same time, I was a bit frustrated and exasperated. 

I had worn the jeans with the holes in them for a couple of days, and I had just laid out a different pair without holes that I intended to wear when I went out. I had laid those jeans near to where the ones with the holes had been placed. When I got dressed, probably due to my frustration at the time, I picked up the wrong jeans and put them on without even noticing. 

Since I thought I was wearing jeans without holes, I just grabbed a t-shirt that wasn't very long, since I didn't think a longer one was necessary. 

I still can't believe I never looked down or felt any air or breeze between my legs, but I went out confident that I had on a pair of jeans without any holes in them.

My first stop was a gas station, since my car was low on gas. I usually pay at the pump using a credit or debit card, but this time I was using cash, which meant walking up to a window where a cashier sat behind. Since several others were in line in front of me, I had to stand in line waiting for five to six minutes. Since I was sure I had a different pair of jeans on, I made no effort at all to pull down my shirt or to conceal anything. Once I pre-paid for fuel, I went back to the pump and fueled my car.

I then went to a bank, where I didn't have to wait in a line for too long. I was still sure I was wearing jeans without holes in them.

I then went to a grocery store where I didn't use a shopping cart, since I assumed I would easily be able to carry all of the items I was there to get. As I walked through the store gathering items from different aisles, I saw a few other items that I knew I needed but hadn't thought about until I saw them. I ended up with one arm held against my chest holding multiple items, and the hand on my other arm was also holding multiple items. 

I went to the checkout area and stood in line for a few minutes, still sure I was entirely covered between my legs. The cashier smiled and conversed a bit, but in hindsight I still have no idea if it may have anything to do with what I was wearing at the time.

When I got home, I still had other things to do at home, so I unloaded the groceries as quickly as possible. A couple neighbors were close by, but I didn't spend any time interacting with them.

Once at home I took care of most of what I still had to do before finally sitting down. Only then did I realize that I all along I had been wearing the jeans with the holes in them, and also wearing a shirt that was too short to have concealed or covered the larger hole in front.

When I did look down and saw my dick through the hole, I was stunned. I couldn't believe that I had been walking around with my dick almost certainly very visible without any idea about it at all. I'm still amazed that I'd been obliviously walking around with my dick visibly displayed. What's done is done though, and what's been seen has been seen.

Some photos from recently after my likely public exposure while wearing the same clothing that was worn in public, all except for shoes.

If anyone did see, and it seems impossible that no one saw, the hole is only going to get bigger until even my longest shirt won't be enough to conceal anything. I suppose I should be glad that I was a bit frustrated while out in public, which may be why I didn't get an erection this time. If I had gotten one, I would have been sure to notice which jeans I was wearing, but by then my erection would have been sticking out right there in public and there wouldn't have been much at all that I could have done to conceal it. 

Since no one said a word about the hole or my dick this time, I can only wonder when someone might say something, or if they'll mostly just look.  If nothing negative is said, then my dick may be seen by even more people and for a lot longer than I ever expected. Even just a slight glimpse of the hole lets it be known that I do not wear any underwear at all, which is bound to cause the hole to get attention. A closer look will surely show my once private part that is more and more becoming a public part.

Must report a rule violation for signature photos in emails

 For the purpose of openness and honesty, I must admit that I violated the rule for specific photos of me to be embedded in or attached to all emails I send or reply to. 

Three photos of me are always and in all circumstances to be included in any and all emails or replies sent out by me. The three photos are:

These photos were initially to be part of an email signature that would automatically be inserted into any composed email, but Yahoo began to no longer support photos in an email signature. This meant that the photos could only be included as attachments that needed to be manually added to each email.

I entirely neglected to do this in a recent email, and rightfully the recipient was aware of this failure and shortcoming by me, and also rightfully, they pointed this out to me. 

I admit that I was entirely wrong to have neglected a rule or requirement that always applies to me under all circumstances. I know these rules and requirements exist to be complied with and followed by me, and do not come with an option for me to neglect them. 

To be honest I am ashamed that I hadn't even realized that I neglected this rule, at least until I was caught and that my neglect was pointed out. In a way I'm grateful for having been caught and called out for it, so that this violation is not repeated. It shows me that I need to pay closer attention to what is required for me.

Just for informational purposes, I have two email accounts. One is with yahoo and my address is DaveS113065@yahoo.com

The other is with Google and my address is DaveS113065@gmail.com 

There are issues for me when sending a gmail to a yahoo address, likely due to the signature photos being embedded into the message, causing the message to be blocked from sending. But between the two email accounts, a message that includes the required photos is always so far able to be sent by me. 

I know that just because there are several other requirements that I'm obliged to follow, it's no excuse for neglecting to follow any one of them. There's never any excuse for me failing to do what's required of me. 

Sometimes the length of time between sending or replying to emails can be long for me, so it's not as ingrained in me like some other daily requirements are. I clearly need to pay more attention to following requirements that need to be followed less often. If not for the attentiveness of a recipient of a reply from me, and the fact that they were aware of the requirement and pointed out my failure to fulfill the requirement, my failure in compliance may have occurred again. 

I know I should never need to be informed of a failure to comply, or to be "caught", but in this case it's probably fortunate that I was caught quickly and that I was informed about it and expected to correct it. 

So I apologize to the recipient who had to call me out on a failure of mine, and in general to everyone else for failing to abide by a requirement. I promise to pay closer attention to this requirement in particular, and to ensure that one way or another, the three photos of me are included to every single email and reply that is sent out by me, no matter how redundant or repetitive it might be, and no matter who the recipient is.

 

Reply to comment about disintegrating clothes (jeans)

 An anonymous comment was recently received on the "Secret Message" page at: https://secret.viralsachxd.com/91c89b4db

Since replies to comments is not possible on the page, and the sender is entirely unknown, replying to it here on the blog is the best that can be done and maybe the sender will be able to read this reply.

The comment was:

 

 In reply to the first sentence, the sender and anyone else has every right to enjoy any situations or predicaments that are related to my exposure of humiliation in any way. Anything that occurs or happens where I am exposed or humiliated is certainly going to occur or happen anyway, so anyone who can or does enjoy any of it may as well take advantage of the opportunity.

So far it's just the one pair of jeans that is in the process of "disintegrating", with a small but growing hole at the top of the rear pocket, and a now quite large hole in front beside the zipper area. My other jeans and the shirts I wear with them are basically in decent shape. Even the jeans with the holes aren't all that worn out aside from the holes. 

But it's for sure that each time I wear the jeans with the holes in them out in public, I am more exposed in them than I was the time before, especially after they go through the washing machine and the dryer. In front of a mirror and without my shirt fully pulled down over the hole, I can quite easily see through the hole and see most of my dick. An erection makes it even more obvious, since it's usual position lines up almost exactly with the hole, and more often than not it will stick out of the hole.

It's anyone's guess how long it might be before somebody says something, since some of that depends on who ends up noticing or seeing some or all of my dick through the hole at some point. I do my best to keep the hole covered by the bottom of my shirt in public places, so as long as I'm successful at that, there's less chance for someone to see something and then say something about it. It's more or less inevitable that I won't successfully conceal things enough, either because of being unable to keep my shirt pulled down far enough, or because the hole simply gets too large. That's the likely point where someone will see into the hole and see my dick.

Even when someone does see my dick, that still may not be the point when something is said about it. They may or may not decide to say something to me about it. If they don't say anything, then that means someone else will also eventually see into the hole and see my dick. Things will repeat like that until someone finally does say something. If what they say is derogatory or negative, then the jeans can stop being worn.  

Until that point the jeans will continue to become more rag-like while being worn in public. Since no underwear can be worn underneath, every stitch and shred of fabric the jeans lose further reveals and exposes me.

At times while in public, I can often feel the breeze or the wind blowing across my dick, and it's difficult to know for sure whether it's just blowing into the hole or if my dick is actually outside of the hole. Since in public it's not always possible to be adjusting and shifting things around "down there", or to be able to just lift my shirt and look to see, I usually just end up trying to keep the bottom of my shirt pulled down as far as possible. How well that works depends on how long the shirt is that I'm wearing, and how far it might be able to be stretched downwards. As it is, if I ever end up having to reach up high with both hands while in public or within view of others, then no shirt I have would be long enough to prevent my exposure and almost certain humiliation. 

At the time of this writing, the jeans with the hole in are in the process of being washed and dried once again, so within days they will be due to be worn again, and the holes are sure to have been made larger. During the few days while they're being worn again, it won't be possible to avoid ending up in public at least a couple of times.  

                      As an erection begins to occur, it can easily slip out through the hole.
 

 

Once an erection becomes full, it can no longer just be slid back into the hole, and has to be left out until it subsides or until there is enough privacy to unbutton and unzip the jeans.

 

 

100 days of no masturbation or cumming

April 11th of 2023 marks the 100th day since being prohibited from masturbating or cumming intentionally. On average I would have masturbated and came about 400 times during this period. 

So instead of masturbating, cumming, and then going back to non sexual and non arousing things and thoughts, I have for the most part remained aroused, turned on, and often thinking sexual or kinky thoughts when none of that would otherwise be occurring.

The poll for deciding about my masturbation can still be voted in, and will remain available until February 1st of 2024, when the decision with the majority of votes at that time will become permanent for me. Clicking the results button at the bottom of the poll page will show the current results whether voting is performed or not.

https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K

Just as they have so far, the majority decision must be and will be respected and obeyed by me at all times. Only others are qualified to decide what it is that I deserve in this matter. 

Of course one result on not masturbating, shown in the photo below, is an extremely common occurrence for me, at any time or place and often seemingly without a reason or direct cause.

 

The requirement that I remain exposed naked all night, every night means there's no hiding or concealing any erection I get, and that others are either likely or sure to see me with one. 

Also, as I continue to wear a pair of jeans with a hole beside the zipper (without underwear since none can ever be worn by me), and as the size of the hole continues to enlarge, my dick continues be become more visible and easier for others to see. Ongoing spontaneous erections will not only continue to pop out through the hole, but will surely pop out more often as the hole becomes larger. 

Wearing a long shirt and having it pulled down is already the only real means for keeping my dick from being openly exposed in public settings. Common erections due to not masturbating are nearly impossible to entirely conceal, especially once my erection extends fully out through the hole.  

                    My dick is often just inside the hole and on the verge of popping out

 

Once an erection begins to occur, my dick tends to come out through the hole. Getting it back inside of the hole is not always easy or possible if others are nearby.

 

Once I have a full erection in any public place or around others, it's not really possible to force my dick back into the hole without also only revealing my dick while doing it, or without trying to forcefully bend it. If not privacy is available to undo my pants, then my erection must remain outside of the hole until it subsides or until there is an opportunity to undo my pants. At best an attempt to pull down my shirt to cover it is the only available option while trying not to allow the bulge under my pulled down shirt. 

One second of loosing the grip on my shirt can lead to my erection being fully revealed and visible, such as having to used both hands for other tasks, or of course if someone else intentionally pulled up my shirt. 

Many of my shirts are just not long enough to offer much cover, even while being pulled downwards. Only one is actually long enough to not need to be overly stretched to cover my dick while also concealing a bulge underneath. 

Each time an erection occurs in public while wearing those jeans, I can only wonder if attempts to conceal it will be successful, or if this is a time when my erection will end up being openly exposed.