Photo album and questionnaires removed by Google

 All photos and videos in the Google album have been removed by Google. The album is still there but without any content. I was sent a notification for each and every photo and video that it had been reported as inappropriate and that they can no longer be available on Google. 

As far as I can tell, the blog is still intact. It may be unrelated, but a few recent comments have also been removed. The notification that a comment was received is still there, but one or more comments are no longer present. 

Also, both current questionnaires have been flagged as inappropriate and as bullying and intimidation, and are no longer available. 

This calls into question as to which requirements will and should remain if effect since no further voting or decisions can be made. 

The requirement for sleeping exposed naked had been in effect for months already, while ironically the requirement for no masturbating had been in effect for exactly 30 days.

Both requirements will remain in effect until a decision of some kind is reached, since both seemed very likely to remain in effect for at least some period of time in any case.

Any input on this topic could be useful.

UPDATE:

The questionnaires have been replaced as closely as possible with a poll on a different website.

To keep the results as close as possible to what they were, the result with the majority was set to a number that equals the minimum number for the majority it had in the previous version. 

In one poll the majority was held by eight votes and in the other it was by eleven votes. The best that can be done is for voting to continue from that point.

The new poll for deserved exposure is at:

https://poll-maker.com/Q6RHPFQJB

and the new poll for masturbation is at:

https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K# 

Any postings for the original questionnaires made in other places or on other websites will be updated with the new links as soon as possible.

A hole in jeans

 In a post it was mentioned how one pair of jeans of mine has a hole near the zipper area. It was mentioned in a comment that I should keep wearing them for as long as possible.

I do have a few pairs of jeans, so the pair with the hole is cycled through. As they are washed or laundered, each pair is worn again. Each time the pair with the hole is worn or washed, the hole inevitably gets larger and more easily noticeable.

It began as the tiniest of holes, but has now become large enough to be potentially revealing.

As of today they are due to be laundered again, but before removing them for laundering, a few photos were taken. The hole will surely be slightly enlarged once the jeans go through the washer and the dryer.

So far only a small part of my penis is visible through the hole, especially when I have a full or partial erection. Since I still have no permission to masturbate, erections tend to occur often. Most shirts I own are not long enough to cover the hole unless the shirt is pulled down and held at all times, which is not possible. 

When I'm out and walking around it's hard to tell how much can be seen, since my point of view is from directly above, while the view of others is more straight on.

The few strings covering the hole are slowly being worn away with each wearing and each laundry cycle. 

When at home I'm naked most of the time, and I only put clothes on when I'm about to leave home, excluding any underwear of course. It's almost always just a shirt, pants, and shoes.

I have noticed a few others in public just glancing down towards the hole, but I can't be sure what may have been visible to them at the time. I often even forget that I'm currently wearing the jeans with the hole either until someone glances toward the hole or until I'm walking and feel a flow of cooler air on my penis. 

It's inevitable that the hole will become large enough to see through, at very least showing that I'm not wearing anything underneath. 

It's hard to say when "for as long as possible" will be, but clearly that point has not been reached yet.  

Of course this is what the jeans are concealing at least for now

 

Exposure update

 It's been eight days since the last update, so another update is about due.

The most noteworthy subject is probably that the three week point has been passed since I was last able to masturbate. 

https://forms.gle/cx6YQK5zF6fuNk3n8  

For a short time I believed some point had been passed where being repeatedly aroused at random times of the day and night has eased some, since even erections occurred a bit less often.

I don't know why there was some reprieve for me for a few days, just as I don't know why I've once again begun to be aroused without an apparent reason or get erections at random times.

The short reprieve seems to have caused me to lower my guard a bit. 

I was recently driving n a multi lane highway with lots of traffic lights and turning lanes, and doing it early in the morning when lots of other traffic was present. 

I had a partial erection for some of the drive, but it soon became a full erection that was clearly outlined in my pants. Since I don't wear underwear, the erection extended several inches down the inner part of my left leg. As I drove along there was traffic in all three lanes that remained built up at a traffic signal even after the light had turned green. I ended up sitting still quite a bit. 

I first began rubbing my pants over top of my erection in an absent minded way, but because it felt so good I became aware of doing it. I was so aroused though, and because I saw no vehicles near me that were tall enough for anyone to see between my legs, I kept rubbing slowly and carefully. I wanted the feeling but I knew that climaxing was still not permitted no matter how much I might want it.

I pulled into a lane on the left and waited for the signal ahead to change to allow crossing of the three oncoming lanes of traffic. While I sat there, the three lanes of traffic on my right kept going through a green traffic signal. 

I was so caught up in my rubbing that I never paid attention to how the traffic on my right had stopped due to the signal in front of them turning red. 

I was suddenly aware of a high, white pickup truck just beside me, and I saw a guy behind the wheel watching me rub the raised area of fabric covering my erection, The truck windows had a tint to them, so seeing beyond the driver was difficult. I did think I saw another person in the passenger seat trying to lean over to look my way. There was definitely someone else moving around over there, but the tint on the glass made it hard to tell what they were doing or looking at.

I stopped my rubbing, and a second or so later the guy looked right at me with just a trace of a smirk on his face. I knew that he knew what I'd been doing, and he knew that I knew I'd bee seen by him doing it. Fortunately for me the signal for turning changed to green and I was able to make my turn. I knew I had to be more careful and to restrain my urges and impulses while in public.

I did begin to rub my erection a couple more times after that, but as soon as I realized I was doing it I forced myself to stop.

Sometimes in private I will let myself rub for a while, since it feels good. It's just a tease though, and the price for that is to be fully stimulated and close to a climax, but having to stop without any release or relief.

Even before I got out of bed that morning, I had been drifting in and out of sleep for a while before, and I was aware that I was maintaining a full erection. At the time it was still mostly dark out and soon began to get s bit light outside. I recall looking towards the uncovered window during one of these moments and noticed that some cars were moving about with their headlights on. I knew this meant that people were heading to their cars and going to wherever they needed to go, and that they might be seeing me or looking my way as they did this.

I knew there was nothing preventing them from seeing me naked, and I was still too groggy and half asleep to want to give it much thought. I did wish my erection would go away so that they wouldn't see me naked and with a full erection, but the erection was unrelenting. I knew turning onto my front would be unbearable and way too stimulating, so all there was to do is lie there naked, illuminated, and with a full erection. By reminding myself that there was no point in thinking about any of that right now, I managed to doze off again for a while.

I don't think there's any way to actually get used to being completely exposed naked to the view of anyone nearby who has even the slightest desire to look. The most that seems possible is to adjust as much as possible to it. This involves repeatedly reminding myself that not one single thing is private for me while in bed. I still try to deceive myself at times by telling myself that no one is seeing me or looking, but I know that's not really possible or realistic. 

I don't know it, but I feel that by now after more than sixty nights and well over 400 hours of being exposed, that some of those nearby have come to expect to see me exposed during the night whenever they happen to look my way. I don't believe that any of them would react to it if I wasn't exposed when they expected me to be, other than wondering why I wasn't exposed, but I do believe that it would be noticed by some. Those seeing me for their first time would still probably just look without any real expectations.

My nightly erections and my humping of the bed still continue unabated, and if anything they occur more than ever. A dozen or so times per week I awaken during the night to find myself on my front and humping the bed with an erection. The only option then is to roll over to try to limit the stimulation of my erection, which then exposes my erection to additional possible view. Much or even all of this must be due to having not masturbated or climaxed for more then three weeks and counting.

It does appear that my arousal and erections will continue well into the foreseeable future, since the results of the questionnaire remain largely unchanged. 

https://forms.gle/cx6YQK5zF6fuNk3n8 

A few times I wanted to climax so much that I would momentarily consider just masturbating even without permission to do it, but each time I have to dismiss that thought. I know that explaining why I did it or worse, lying about it would never be successful over the long term. I have no doubt at all that at some point it would be discovered due to an inconsistency by me or for some other reason. 

With the current results by far deciding that I cannot masturbate, I simply have to accept that there is no masturbating unless or until the results and the majority decision changes.

A graph of the current questionnaire results:

 

Nightly Exposure in bed

 To show that my required nightly exposure while in bed is occurring and ongoing, some recent photos are now available. Due to the current results of decisions in the open questionnaire at: https://forms.gle/cx6YQK5zF6fuNk3n8 there has been no masturbation by me for 15 days. 

This has made erections more common, unpredictable, and caused them to last much longer than they otherwise would. Erections occur while awake and also during sleep at a time while my exposure is occurring each night in bed through a window. 

With the night time temperatures being quite low recently, the window has had to remain closed but still largely uncovered as the photos show. The blind is fixed in place and cannot be closed without the removal of plastic ties that hold it in place. 

The light level in the room is the same each night and no sheets or any other covering is present or within reach. 

A series of timed photos show me in bed naked and show the uncovered window beyond. At night the light in the room causes a reflection in the glass, which from my position on the bed mostly appears as my own naked reflection. The photos don't appear to show this reflection of me, but it causes me to be able to see little or nothing of the outside at night, or to know whether anyone might be seeing me or not. 

In order to sleep I can only lie there exposed whether I'm being seen at the moment or not. There have only been a few times while I was awake when it was clear that others were looking in at me and seeing me. While asleep it's unknown if or when I am being seen or observed in bed. 

The photos might appear much the same, but they can also be seen in gif image that shows the small differences in them. 

 

                          

 

 

The photos and the gif show how I spent every night, all night long. Photos of the view outside the window during day time are included here again to show the potential for my nightly exposure to be seen.

 

It has also been pointed out to me a few times where my exposure was lacking or insufficient in some way where it was deemed not be presented or so easily accessible by others. If and when these things are pointed out to me, they will be addressed if at all possible. In situations like that I can only apologize for any failure to be exposed as others deem that I should be. 
                 

Erotic fantasies and dreams since not masturbating

 It's not hard to understand why not masturbating for two entire weeks now would lead to very common erections and a heightened level of overall arousal. Something like that was expected, even if it's turning out to be more than expected. 

What wasn't really expected is how during the day I'm fantasizing a whole lot more often than I did before not being able to masturbate. Of course this only leads to even more erections occurring and it seems like a kind of feedback loop. 

I'm aroused and horny, so I get erections, which only increase my arousal, which leads to more erections. 

One of the more common fantasies that have begun to occur is if I see a person in public that is at least somewhat attractive looking to me. I then imagine if all of their clothing just vanished right then and there and what that might look like. I start to imagine how they might react or what they might try to do to avoid being seen naked more than they already had been by everyone around them. It doesn't take long before I have a full erection. 

The dreams at night tend to different than that and generally involve me being in some unusual situation.

One in particular keeps happening that seems to have a good bit of detail. This surprised me since it is something that has never occurred and something I've never seen happen. How I got to be the way I am in the dream is never clear, but each time it occurs it seems like it's the first time rather than a rerun or repeated dream.

It begins with me being naked along a long paved pathway with a long chain link fence running parallel to it's length. I'm facing the fence and right up against it. Behind me and on the other side of the path is a wide grassy area with some thick woods beyond. In front on the other side of the fence is a huge open, grassy field with the grass cut low, and with a single mid sized tree not far from the fence. 

I realize that as hard as I try, I cannot move away from the fence. I push away with my hands and lean back, but I feel my penis stretching and even tingling a little. It's then that I notice a thin, strong string tied very tightly around the head of me penis. The string goes through one of the small openings in the fence directly in front of where my penis is. My penis is stretched out to its limit through the opening in the fence. The other end of the string is tied tightly around the tree that's just beyond the other side of the fence. It's keeping me from being able to pull my penis out of the opening and keeping me from moving away from the fence.

I try to reach my penis with my hands, but the opening in the fence is too small. I can't get my fingers more than part way through any of the openings and cannot even come close to reaching the string that's tied around the head of my penis. I realize I am trapped right there just as I am. 

I'm vaguely aware that one or more others are nearby laughing at me and mocking my predicament, but I never see them and only hear them. The last thing I hear from them is "Goodbye", and they apparently leave. 

In the dream I become frantic to get free before people come along and see me, and I begin trying to bend or force one of the openings in the fence to become large enough for my hand to get through, but I can't get the opening to get any larger. 

I pull back as hard as I can, which for some reason makes my penis get fully hard and feel tingly in a pleasing way, but the string is too tight to enable my penis to be withdrawn at all. The string is already too tight. 

As I realize that I am going to have to just stay there and wait until others come along, I start to moan in a sort of resignation of my soon to occur humiliation. My penis remains erect though, and the tingling feeling in it even increases.

        Similar to the fence in the dream, but with a walking path behind instead of a roadway.

It's during this time in the dream that I wake up in bed naked, always with an erection and with an almost sure sense that I'd been either humping the bed or just thrusting upwards if lying on my back. 

Once realizing it was just another dream I feel some relief that it wasn't happening for real, and with a curiosity about why such a helpless and humiliating situation leaves me feeling so aroused. I also wonder why the dream always ends at about the same point. 

Some other dreams are more vague and less detailed, but most often involve me being in some crowded place naked, but without anyone seeming to notice yet. Somehow I always know that if I move even a little bit, everyone will notice, and that they will notice anyway within some short amount of time.

I sit there, or stand if that's how the dream goes, contemplating what I should do. I can never decide whether it;s better to stay still until I'm noticed, or if I should move or stand up. I seem to know that any exit is beyond a large number of people who I'd have to pass through or pass by. The dream always comes to and end before I can seem to make up my mind about what too do.

Between the common erections and arousal, fantasies and unusual dreams, going so long without masturbating or cumming seems to be continuing to have more and greater effects. I can't imagine there being more to come or what might be next.

More common arousal and erections

 Thirteen days without any masturbation or relief from arousal and being in a state of arousal is still occurring more frequently and seems more intense. I'm beginning to doubt that there is ever going to be a point where it just can't become any more intense than it already is. 

During the first several days, becoming aroused and having an erection became much more common than it did when I could still masturbate daily or multiple times per day. Into the second week I thought it may have plateaued and might remain much the same as days passed. After even more days passed, I realized that how often I was aroused and how often I got an erection was still increasing, but just not at such a noticeable rate. Day after day I'm finding that I'm getting even more erections and often at times when I'm not even sure of what triggered it. The erections seem to be lasting longer and are more difficult to get rid of.

At work, the pants I wear are more loose fitting, so an erection may not be too apparent to anyone who might potentially notice. Any other time though, my pants do very little to conceal the long raised shape of an erection in my pants. I've recently discovered that I may have been misjudging just how noticeable an erection in my pants might actually be.

I recently had to go to a large drug store to drop off a prescription for someone, and then wait while it was filled. While standing in line I felt my penis begin to stir and within a minute or so I had an erection. The pharmacy was in a wide alcove area, so I felt somewhat concealed. Most of those in line in front of me mostly faced away from me, although I was aware that on my left there was a line of chairs against one wall where people could sit to wait as their prescriptions were being filled.

Once I dropped off the prescription, I was told that it should be ready in twenty minutes or so. I went over and sat down in one of the chairs along the wall. I still had an erection and I knew it might be visible to those who were now waiting in line. I casually looked down and my erection didn't seem too noticeable. Then I noticed that on the opposite wall, on the other side of those waiting in line, there was a large mirror that had a few small displays on either end of it. 

Nearly in the center of the mirror I saw my own reflection if me sitting in the chair, and the erection in my pants appeared prominently and quite noticeable. I shifted in my seat to see if changing the angle made a difference, but it didn't. Even closing my legs made very little difference, if any.

The more I tried to will or wish the erection away, the more full the erection appeared to be. I finally settled on just waiting for it to subside on its own and figured no one would really notice. 

It seemed to work that way for a minute or so, until I saw a guy go from looking away from me to looking right at me, and I was sure I saw a quick glance between my legs. He then returned to looking away from me. I was a little bit relieved when he did look away until it occurred to me that he was likely just looking at my reflection in the large mirror.

Only a couple minutes later I noticed a husky woman in a tank top and shorts looking my way. She had tattoos on both shoulders and one on her ankle. When I looked right at her, her gaze seemed to suddenly rise from between my legs to my face. When she saw me returning the look she just smiled slightly and began looking around. I was sure she glanced my way again a few more times, but it was too quick for me to know for sure. 

She finally made her way to the service window and a minute or so later the prescription I was waiting for was ready. I left there feeling sure that at least a couple people there knew that I had an erection under my pants. 

It was one of those now more common times when I could almost swear that my penis wants everyone to know and see that it's erect, in spite of how exposed I feel or how humiliating it is for my erection to be noticed in public. If that was true then it's my penis that is getting what it wants. 

There are more and more times while I have an erection that I have to consciously prevent myself from actively thrusting my hips. I usually notice only after one or two thrusts have occurred and then I have to cover it by pretending to stretch or shift positions for how I'm sitting or standing. I don't know if that works to fool anyone, but it's all I have and I have to at least try it.

At night in bed there's no pretending or anything else. Since I'm naked eveything is right out there and anyone who might look in through the window would see literally everything.

If I'm tired enough, I may doze off without getting much of an erection. But for some reason an erection seems to occur shortly afterwards. I'm not sure but I think it's due to that once I begin to fall asleep, my guard is let down and there is nothing preventing my arousal from showing in whatever way it can. Since sleep cannot be avoided, my nightly exposure seems to include an erection more and more. I'm waking up with an erection more often than ever, and they refuse to subside for a longer and longer time. For the most part I just try to ignore them and go back to sleep if I can. 

Not long ago I was at least able to turn onto my stomach and at least temporarily make it not so obvious to anyone who might be seeing me. This still left my bare ass exposed, so it wasn't ideal. Recently though, I can't seem to even fully doze off on my stomach before I find myself humping the bed. My bare ass is not only exposed, but it ends up being thrust upwards and then downwards over and over again, and impossible not to be observed if anyone happened to be looking in through the window at me. 

Just last night I woke up on my stomach, humping the bed non stop. It felt so good that in my half awake state I didn't care to stop it. As I enjoyed the feeling it suddenly all came back to me that I was exposed naked through the window. I opened my eyes and looked towards the window just as my final thrust was occurring. I saw a reflection of my own bare ass rise up in an arch and go down once more. It's nearly certain that this is also occurring while I'm asleep and at times I'm just not waking up to know it or to stop it. 

A newer and more recent development appears to be that I'm now thrusting my hips and my erection upwards even while I'm lying on my back. I've woken up to find myself doing this several times already over the last few nights. It's now one more way that I'm exposed and potentially seen by much of the neighborhood.

Without being able to masturbate, it's seeming more and more inevitable that more and more of the neighborhood around me is going to see all of this eventually. It's very likely that some have already seen it.

Being exposed to view naked in bed comes with it's own degree of humiliation. Being seen by anyone who simply looks towards my window increases that degree. The potential for being seen humping the bed naked, and seen much more often with an erection just seems to ensure a high degree of humiliation. I feel it at the time while exposed, and even more so when seeing or encountering those near me during the day, knowing they may or actually have seen eveything. 

A recent look at the questionnaire results so far shows that there will be no masturbating for me. This practically ensures that others will keep noticing the outline of my erections in my pants during the day, and that most or all of those nearby my window will end up seeing me naked and erect at night, and thrusting my hips naked. There's also an ever increasing risk that I may accidentally or unintentionally climax and cum in the middle of some public place, and end up just having to stand or sit there as it occurs. 

The most unusual and unexpected thing of all for me has to be that things that didn't cause me any arousal before, and things that still shouldn't really cause any arousal for me, are actually leading me to become aroused. Sometimes even highly aroused. 

One example is the questionnaire. A part of me is startled and alarmed that I cannot masturbate for at least what will surely be a long time, if ever. That does entirely depend on whether decisions in the questionnaire allow a change. I can't figure out why it is, but the realization that I cannot masturbate and won't be able to anytime soon causes me to become erect and aroused. I don't quite understand why this happens, since it's as if my mind and my penis aren't in agreement on how to react. It's as if my mind is saying "Oh no!" while my penis is enjoying it. 

https://forms.gle/c5J2e99Sx94kNi3UA 

It's just one more reason why it can seem as though my penis is in charge, is liking every bit of it, and has no desire for anything to change.

Post: January 11th

Update on a few topics:

At the current time it is the the eleventh day of no masturbating. I have not had one single ejaculation or climax since Jan. 1st and it's now into the eleventh day. For brief periods during the day I can feel very little effect from it, but never for more than several minutes. 

Questionnaire for deciding upon David Steckel's masturbation, or lack of it. Majority decision must remain in effect unless or until it changes/

https://forms.gle/c5J2e99Sx94kNi3UA 

Within a short time my penis decides to remind me that it will become hard or erect whenever it wants to. Even trying to think of non-arousing things doesn't always work well or too quickly.

This morning I got an erection while driving, just before I arrived at a convenience store where I needed to stop. I pulled into the lot and I couldn't get my erection to subside. After sitting there for a minute or so I had to get out of the car, since I didn't have much time to spare. There were a few others around, mostly sitting in other cars that all park front-end-in facing the store. The store is along a congested highway with a traffic light right there and cars were sitting there waiting. 

When I stood up, my penis was in a bad spot and felt like it was being bent, so I tried as casually as I could to readjust its position in my pants. I don't know for sure if I was casual enough for anyone not to notice, but I saw no sign of anyone noticing.

Being in front of so many cars and people, I didn't really inspect how I might appear down there and just walked into the store. I grabbed what I needed and stood next in line at the register. On the wall to my left there was a large screen that showed that part of the store on the screen. I saw the cashier, the person in front of me, and myself. On the screen I could see a bulge in the front of my jeans and I immediately had the urge to cover it up. Before I did, I realized how obvious that would be, and that I would also be shown on the screen and would be visible even to those who couldn't see much of my front. I had to just let it go and hope no one else noticed. I assume that no one did notice, only because no one acted like they did.

If I didn't know better I would swear that my penis wants everyone to know it's there, and to see one of its capabilities. 

Any time my mind wanders, I can find my hand reaching between my legs and even rubbing myself there. This happens when I'm alone when I just have to stop myself from doing, but it has happened a few times when others are around or present too. When I realize it then, I have to feign as if I was scratching rather than rubbing. If I'm partly erect by then, I have to try thinking of other things or risk a full erection after I've possibly drawn attention to that area by "scratching" there. 

One pair of my jeans has already begun to develop a small hole just to the left of the zipper, and right in the area where my penis usually sits. The hole is frayed and still covered by strands of blue threads, but now it's only a matter of time before the hole becomes larger and where at least some of my penis will be visible through it. 

I only have three pairs of jeans at the time that aren't torn or very worn out, so unless I do laundry every other day I end up needing this pair of jeans. I also usually fail to notice I put this pair on until I get an erection at some point, which usually only happens after I'm out and away from home. The jeans are still in very good shape other than the hole beside the zipper, so until the hole gets too big it seems a waste to stop wearing them. I don't think I could stand wearing underwear all day since I never do, and I only have a single pair of them in a drawer anyway. I also made a promise to someone a long time ago that I would never wear them for any reason. So for now and until the hole gets too large, I will still be wearing that pair of jeans every third day.

Within the next few wearings and washings, the hole will probably be large enough to reveal some part of my penis, but only if someone really takes a good look there. A few more washing and wearings after that and it's sure to be large enough to reveal a good portion of my penis and probably won't be able to be worn any longer without a risk of my penis actually protruding through the hole itself. 

At night it's bit of a different story, since no clothing is involved or worn then. Each night once I get into bed there's a certain amount of time where I seem to just be adjusting to beginning another night of being exposed through the window. By then much of the activity nearby has subsided a good bit and there's less of a possibility for many people to be out and about. But there are still those who may be walking a dog for a final time for the night, those who just end their days later than most, and those who have some reason to be out or about that isn't usual for them.

When I first get into bed feel quite aware of these things, even if it's for no apparent reason. Within minutes though, I start to settle in for the night. Mostly it's just me once again resigning myself to the fact that whoever is going to see me is just going to see me. 

Not masturbating for many days seems to ensure that my first erection in bed now occurs even as I'm very near to falling asleep. Whenever I'm brought back to being awake by something after being very close to falling asleep entirely, I find that I almost always have an erection already. One more recent development seems to be that one of the things that bring me back to awake is when I begin to thrust my hips upwards, even while I'm lying on my back. It's as if I'm humping nothing but air. I never recall this occurring before and it must be due to not masturbating for many days. 

When it happens and I wake up again, there's always a short period of time where I forget that I'm currently exposed until it reoccurs to me. At that point I'm aware that anyone looking in at me could have just seen the entire event, and nothing can change what may have been seen. 

Until just recently it was mostly when lying on my stomach that the thrusting and humping would occur, which was why I would remain on my back until I fell asleep. Once asleep I would inevitably move or change positions and the thrusting and humping would occur anyway, but while on my back it didn't occur. Now it seems that it does occur no matter what position I am lying in.

I'm left wondering now about how often or how long I might be doing this if I don't wake up due to it. Just last night I awoke to find my self on my back with an erection and thrusting my hips upwards before stopping myself from doing it. A moment later I noticed some lights outside that were bright enough not to be hidden by the glare of the room lights on the glass. When I glanced that way I saw that it was the lights of the vehicle of a nearby neighbor. They appeared to have just parked where they usually do or were about to leave. I couldn't be sure right them which it was, but my window is easily visible from that parking space. 

When the vehicle just sat there with lights on for several minutes, I began to convince myself that no one was inside and that only the lights were left on. Just as I decided I might be right about that, the dome light came on and three unidentifiable people began to exit the vehicle. In the dark I couldn't see them well. I assumed that at least one of them was the owner of the vehicle. I don't know for sure that they had been sitting there watching me, but I knew they could have been. If they were looking in at me then they would certainly have seen me thrusting my hips with an erection. By then though, it would have been done and over with, so once they went inside I did my best to dismiss the whole thing. 

Only later did it occur to me the residence they entered has windows that I would also be observable from. 

At that time I did notice that nearly all parking spaces had a vehicle parked in them. I woke up near dawn to find quite a few vehicles had left during the night, likely just recently as the early risers left for wherever they were going. As if to confirm this, two vehicles spontaneously backed out from opposite sides of the parking area and one followed the other to the exit nearest to me. Both sets of headlights remained aimed in my direction until they reached a point where a turn was necessary.  

I may be vastly underestimating the number of times I may have potentially been seen or am being seen, since I'm so rarely awake during this period of exodus from the parking area. I have to wonder if I was sleeping motionless at those times, which would limit what was seen to just seeing me naked, or if I was performing some action or had an erection. 

At best it seems that I may have been exposed naked to quite a few more others than I assumed. Since I do seem to be becoming more "active" while asleep, I would have had no control over what I might have been doing or how I was exposed during all of this time, and no way to know about most or any of it. 

It seems accurate to say that no plateau or leveling off point had been reached for the increase in my state of arousal. It's increase may have slowed down a bit, but it does seem to still be increasing ever slowly.

NOTE: 

It has recently been mentioned to me that the link to this blog was not as available to friends and people who know me, mainly on Facebook, that it should be. It appears that there are ways of posting the link that I hadn't considered.

A link to the blog is now located in the intro of my Facebook page and has also been added to some recent posts. Posting only the blog link in a post still generates an automatic image that is likely to be flagged, but posting the link in an existing post seems to avoid this issue.

As a way of accounting for this lack of availability of the link to this blog, it will now be included in any future posts to ensure that friends and others who know me have the maximum opportunity possible to see and read this blog.

 

Update on my requirement for no masturbation.

 I was asked some questions in a comment about my masturbation, or actually about my lack of it. It's probably just easier to share the entire comment and my response to it before going further.

The comment:

 Can you absolutely swear that you're not masturbating at all and haven't since even once since day one of not being able to do it? Not a single drop of cum? Do you edge yourself at all? Bringing yourself to the very edge of cumming? If you do then how can you keep from cumming when you're so desperate for it? What about when you hump your bed at night? If you haven't cum because of it, how do you avoid it? These are things everyone should know.

My reply:

 Yes I can swear that it's one hundred percent true that I have not masturbated since the first day of being required not to. The last time I masturbated or came was in the early evening on Sunday, January 1st which was New Years Day. I didn't know then that I wouldn't be doing it again anytime soon. If everyone should know about all of those things, then it's probably best if it's related in a post instead of a response. I'll admit that a couple times a drop of cum nearly came out, but as far as I know there hasn't been a single drop. If it got that far I think a lot more would have ended up coming out. I promise to address all that was asked in a post very soon

I can swear to the fact that I haven't masturbated or came at all even once since I was first required not to masturbate. I realize that it can seem easy for me to just say so but most people who know me personally would probably know that I don't do such things. My own conscience won't allow it and I know I can't get away with it for long. 

Since everything about this is to be public knowledge, I know that telling the absolute truth about it is even more necessary. I also know that others expect their decision to be abided by.

I'm sure that not a drop of cum has come out of my penis since the last time I masturbated. Even if it happened while I was asleep, something would show up on the sheet over my mattress or on the tip of my penis. By now I probably have a good amount of pent up cum that would come out if any cum at all came out while I was asleep. I don't think I could sleep through anything like that.

I admit that I've tried a few times to bring myself close to cumming, but it just ends up with me teasing myself and leaves me highly aroused and feeling even more desperate to masturbate and cum. Once it was five days or so into not masturbating I would get so close to cumming so fast and in such a short time that I had to start just leaving my penis alone entirely. Otherwise I would have cum by masturbating and then have to reveal to everyone that I ignored a decision and did what I was required not to do. 

The event of nearly cumming from my penis rubbing a box that I was carrying, and from thrusting my hips up and down while sitting at a red traffic signal have proven to me that I have to be very careful about stimulating my penis in any way. 

I honestly don;t know how I haven;t cum due to humping my bed at night, especially since it seems to happen much more often than it did before. I can only assume that whenever I get anywhere near cumming then, I wake up. Once I wake up it usually only takes me a short time to realize that I'm basically on display naked to much of the neighborhood and that I'm possibly being seen or watched at that very moment. That could be just enough to keep me from cumming at least for now.

It's not so much that I think anyone watching would know for sure that I was cumming, but that they would see me humping my bed like crazy and see my ass bouncing up and down as it does. I know it's very possible for anyone nearby to be seeing that anyway if I do it in my sleep and don't realize I'm doing it or being seen doing it, but it's pretty humiliating to know I'm doing in possible full view of the neighborhood. I can't stop or prevent anyone from seeing or watching me naked in bed all night long or what I might do while asleep, but I do at least have some ability while I'm awake and aware to avoid having them see my bare ass going up and down while I thrust my penis onto the bed. It's one of the few things I can have some effect on. 

I've mentioned before how it feels my penis is in charge and in control now, and how I'm just along for the ride. I know that's just a creation of my own mind, but that doesn't make it feel any less true. It can get hard and erect any time it wants to and it doesn't care where it happens or who sees it. It can seem as if it knows that it can tease me to no end and that I just have to let it do it. If it could and did know any of that, I might have to admit that it was right. 

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit one thing, but since it's all public anyway there's no point in me concealing it. That is how in spite of the desperation and not having any release from being aroused and horny so often, it's really not all bad for me.

I would never have expected it or know any different if I could still masturbate, but there are moments when I find that I actually enjoy feeling so turned on, and how little it takes for me to come close to climaxing. I also enjoy some of the quite erotic dreams I seem to have recently, even in spite of what it might be or is enabling neighbors and others nearby to see. Even though I can't climax or cum, it does feel good to simply thrust my hips a few times and for it to have such an effect on me. Not being able to continue with it until I cum is frustrating, but the feeling itself is very good. 

It's also a bit of an erotic feeling to be around others while being so aroused and turned on without them knowing anything about it. Sometimes I wonder if they can tell or if they know it, but unless I would have an orgasm and cum right there in front of them I know there's no way they can know.

 

 

Questionnaire for my deserved exposure has closed

 The questionnaire for what level of exposure I deserve has finally closed. It was kept open for longer than originally intended on the chance that some decisions might change, but for weeks no new decisions were received. Also, once the poll closed, all majority decisions become the final decisions and must remain in effect for me permanently. 

The final results are:

Decision one: 

His exposure should be available in ways that present it directly to others, including to those who know him personally.

Decision two:

When encountered in person, David Steckel should be required to strip naked on demand for any reason. In person, even after satisfying those present, David Steckel should be required to permanently "gift" his clothing to those present, and be left in his naked state.

Decision three:

David Steckel must have no say about ANY post of him naked online, and must be forbidden to EVER ask for the removal of any post made by anyone, anywhere, for any reason, regardless of who will view him naked.

Decision four:

His device must be accessible through a remote app by anyone who wishes to access it. The access information must be available for others to use.

Decision five:

David Steckel must sleep naked and exposed as described above EVERY NIGHT, and MUST masturbate naked in bed at LEAST once per night where anyone outside can watch or observe him.

The decision for number five has been adjusted according to the current decision results in the questionnaire at: https://forms.gle/876SHDLwTh1qNEkj7

This questionnaire will remain open until a closing date sometime in mid February of 2023.

The closing of the first questionnaire is a defining event for me, since it finalizes all decisions, essentially making them permanent. Only slight differences can be made and only after they would be approved in some future questionnaire.

The first and third decisions are probably the easiest for me to accept as being permanent. That's for my exposure to being available to others including to those who know me, and that I have no say about any post made online that exposes me. 

The fourth decision is a bit harder to accept, which is that my device must be available for access through a remote app like Teamviewer or Anydesk. That decision has been in effect for a while now, and there have been very few results from it. I at least retain a right to end any current access if changes to any device settings are attempted to be made. All file folders, pages, and websites do have to be free to access though.

Teamviewer address: 1 054 262 400  Password: Nakedandexposed1

Anydesk address: 990 573 524  Password: Showmystuff1

Decision two is where it becomes harder to accept. Having to strip completely naked whenever I'm told to in person means there's a possibility that I could end up naked without knowing in advance or without expecting to. 

Decision five is the decision that is hard to accept simply because it has an effect every night. I will be exposed naked in bed to anyone who looks into my window at any time of night. I've already been seen at least by a few others that I know of, and possibly by an unknown number of others while asleep. It's inevitable that I will be seen an additional number of times. 

With the current results of the open questionnaire, I cannot masturbate, which causes repeated erections for me during the night while awake and since I wake up with them, they occur even while I'm asleep. These erections cannot be hidden due to being naked and exposed. My tendency to hump my bed during sleep has also clearly increased dramatically due to not masturbating, which can potentially be observed by anyone looking in through my window at a time when I'm doing it. 

Most who have the potential to see any of this are also those who will later see me outside while clothed during the day, and they will surely then recall exactly what they've seen of me. Unfortunately, some of this has already occurred and cannot be reversed or undone. They will also have the opportunity to see even more of me on any night they choose.

Just to repeat. The questionnaire at https://forms.gle/AHErQjxugwXufk8N7 has closed and all majority decisions have become final. 

Seen exposed naked during night in bed

 I know there are some who are curious about whether or not I've been seen while exposed naked in bed at night, and some might even want me to be seen. This might satisfy both of those things.

During a recent night of sleeping naked and exposed in bed, I woke up by chance near midnight. Since I was groggy and not fully awake, I laid there for a moment looking at my TV that was still on. I often fall asleep watching it. Not long after I saw some light from the corner of my eye. Since it's been warm enough, the sash on my window is up for air and ventilation, so the usual glare and reflection from the glass wasn't present.

I noticed that a person was standing beside a vehicle that is often parked nearby. The drivers side of the vehicle was facing me and the person was standing right outside of the drivers door. I noticed that someone else was standing on the far side of the vehicle, and only their shoulders and head were visible above the roof. They appeared to be talking to each other, and even though they were mostly silhouettes, there was just enough light for me to see that they were looking my way. Since the only thing to look at in my direction was me, I knew they must be looking at me. At the time I was lying on my back naked and they were in an ideal spot to see me. The light I'd seen was the headlights and the tail lights of the vehicle they stood next to.

I had the sudden urge to do something, but I didn't know what exactly. There were no sheets or covers on or near my bed, the room was lit up and even if I could turn off the lights, reaching the switch would mean standing up naked almost directly in front of the window, and doing that would expose me even more, Closing the blind was even less possible, since not only would that require standing naked right in the window, but the electrical zip-ties keeping the blind open would need to be cut with something sharp. 

Those things went through my mind, but I knew there was nothing I could do except to stay as I was while they looked at me naked. I hoped they would just look for a short time and then go about their business, but they just kept standing there. I knew they were talking to each other but I couldn't hear them. They were roughly 50 feet from my window. (Just over 15 meters). 

I tried my best to act like I was oblivious to their presence while I waited for them to finish looking at me. Minute after minute they just stood there talking and looking at me. I could see just enough from the corner of my eye to tell that they just kept looking. All I could do is stay still while they looked. I could tell that the nearest one to me was a slightly heavy-set female, but I couldn't see the other one clear enough to tell anything about them other than they were tall enough to see over the roof of the vehicle, which was an SUV. 

Even knowing that time could feel like it passed slowly while being looked at naked, I knew at least four minutes had to have passed before I saw another small light. This turned out to be the interior dome light of the vehicle as they apparently got inside. After nearly another minute the vehicle backed out from the parking spot slowly. Once it was out, it turned towards me and the headlights shined into my window. 

The vehicle stayed like that for thirty seconds or so before completing its turn and moving off. I was relieved that it had gone, but I knew for absolute certainty that both people had not only seen me naked, but had stood there looking for a while. What I don't know is how long they might have been looking at me before I woke up and noticed them. 

After a few minutes of contemplating about how I'd just been seen naked by people outside who I didn't know, I managed to relax enough to fall asleep again. Later, sometime in the early a.m.hours, I woke up again and noticed that the vehicle was back in its parking space. It had returned sometime while I was asleep. There's almost no doubt that I was looked at or watched again, but I just didn't know for how long or what positions I was in when they saw me again. It's one thing to wonder if I'd been seen while asleep, but another to actually know it. I don't even know if they took any photos or video of me naked, but somehow I think they did. If they really did, there's no doubt at all that they will be showing it to other people, who will then know that I am exposed naked every night.

I suspect that I've been seen naked several times or so while I was asleep, and I knew it was inevitable for me to eventually know I was seen naked. Now I know I have been. It's bound to happen again, and when it does I'll have to just lie there and be looked at naked.

I do realize that the main purpose for my exposure every night is so that people can and do see me naked in bed during the night. There's a certain feeling of helplessness and humiliation when I'm lying there naked and I know I'm being looked at, But I suppose that's just another part of being exposed.

 

UPDATE Jan. 4, 2023

Someone who lives close by to my window, who usually sits on their partially enclosed porch has set up a chair next to their front door and started to sit out there at night. They were already capable of seeing me naked in bed from the porch, but only from my chest down. They can also see me from where they park and when going to and from their vehicle. They're not the ones who were recently watching me, but it's very possible that they have seen me naked in bed at some point while I was asleep. From what I can tell, it's a heavy-set woman who has friends stop over nearly every day.

The chair can be seen as the white object in the photo below on the left side of the photo , just to the left of the front door. The porch can be seen on the left end of the building.

There's no way to know for sure, at least yet anyway, but it's possible that the chair was put there as a place to sit and observe me naked in bed at night. No chair had ever been there before in the entire time since the current residents moved in a few years ago. It's either an extreme coincidence or it's for sitting in while looking at me naked in bed. There's not many reasons for a chair to suddenly be placed there.

I may be wrong, but if I'm not then I could end up being looked at or watched naked a lot more.

An expanded view of where the chair is located:

  It's also possible for me to be seen in bed from any of the windows visible, and the door.

UPDATE Jan. 6, 2023

It's not for sure yet, but someone nearby whose window is nearest to my window has just recently begun to open the slats on her Venetian blinds after dark, and may be observing me while I sleep naked at night. A light is turned on in the room, and her silhouette can be seen opening the blind slats. She can briefly be seen through the open slats before the light is turned off and the room becomes dark.

That window offers the best possible view of me compared to all nearby other windows. There may be some unknown reason for the slats to be opened at night, but it's possible the reason is for looking at me or watching me while I'm naked in bed all night. 

The slats remain open until mid morning of the next day, when they are closed again. I've never once seen the slats open at night until recently, and it's too dark at night to know if anyone is looking out through the open slats. 

The woman who lives there appears to be in her sixties. I don't know her and have never talked to her, but I do see her outside once in a while when I'm also outside. If she is looking in at me at times during the night, she has absolutely seen much more of me than I ever have of her. She may have even already seen me with an erection or seen my tendency to hump my bed while I'm asleep, both of which seem to have become much more common during the time I've had to abstain from masturbating. 

If she really is looking in at me, I can only guess what she may have already seen of me, or what she will be seeing.

No masturbating for a week or more.

 The questionnaire at https://forms.gle/rfLKisCWHbUyha1f6 is currently tied three ways. One decision says I cannot masturbate at all. I can only cum if it happens due to my habit of humping the bed during sleep, mostly when I'm in a heightened state of arousal due to not masturbating. Or I can cum by having a wet dream, which is less likely to happen.

Another decision says I can masturbate in bed while exposed only once per week, and on the same night every week. 

The third decision says I have to abstain from masturbating for a week, but continue to masturbating in bed while exposed each night afterwards.

Since all three involve no masturbating for at least a week, I can't masturbate for at least that long. If the tie vote is broken, the decision with the most votes will decide things after the week is up. 

The first day of not masturbating isn't too difficult. The night can be a bit more difficult, especially if I become aroused.

The second day I can find myself aroused for very little reason, and the need to masturbate gets stronger. By the second night I'm more easily aroused than I was during the day, and avoiding masturbating becomes more difficult.Not thinking about it only works for a brief time. 

By that time I'm a little more likely to end up humping the bed during sleep, but I haven't awakened as much to find that I'm doing it after two days of not masturbating. 

On the third day I really feel a need to masturbate, and I have to distract myself with other things to avoid being almost endlessly aroused. By the third night my need to masturbate is near desperate. Erections can occur more often. Even during sleep. I only know of the times when I woke up with an erection, It could be that it happens more but without me waking up to know about it.

The same is true for humping the bed, which becomes more likely during the third night. I might wake up once or twice to find myself stomach-down and humping the bed. 

By the fourth day it's harder to keep myself distracted from being aroused, and it's almost a sure thing that I will get an erection a few times during the night. Humping the bed becomes almost as sure by then.

By the fifth day and night, it's about as bad as it's going to get. Unless some other influence is having an effect on me, like some sort of stress or something making me anxious or nervous, I will get an erection at random moment. Once I fall asleep an erection is even more likely and can happen more often. 

By then I will wake up humping the bed more than once per night, I can only guess about when it doesn't wake me up. I don't know how long it would go on if doesn't wake me up.

I already don't know how much I might end up being seen naked through the window at night. After a few days of not masturbating, anyone looking at the right time will almost definitely see me having an erection. While I'm asleep I wouldn't know it and there's no way to really hide it anyway.

At the right time, or times, they will also see me humping the bed naked. By the time I wake up doing it, I never know how long I was doing it, or how much my bare ass was going up and down. I have no idea how involved I might get in it if I don't wake up from it. 

Whenever I do wake up doing it, even if no one is seeing it, it's still a little humiliating. After days of not masturbating I'm sure to end up doing it right while I'm exposed to anyone through the window, If anyone was looking or watching, they would have already seen me doing it by the time I did wake up. Even if I stop they will already have seen me. 

Doing that and not masturbating afterward makes it even more likely that I will do it again pretty soon. I suppose I'm unconsciously seeking relief in some way. 

If it turns out that I can masturbate again after a week, there will still be at least three nights where I'll have little or no control over what happens while I'm asleep. That means I'll be exposed through the window not only naked, but with an erection and also humping the bed. Nothing I know if except for masturbating can prevent those things from occurring. If I can't masturbate, they will occur for absolute certainty by some point in time while I am asleep. If anyone is looking at those times, they will see all of it, and I'm likely not to know it. 

On a related topic, it was asked whether the blind could be raised more. It can be and has been raised a few more inches. Photos of the blind and the window make the blind appear to not be open much, but from my point of view on the bed, it appears open wider than the photos show it.

Here are some photos of the blind as it is now and during the day.

 

Photo from the point of view near the pillows. Residences can be seen nearby. The nearby lot has rows of condos on either side that are out of sight. Condos are also located further down at the far end of the lot. 

Photo showing the view out of the window at around where my knees would be while in bed. The building is two separate condos with residents in each. Their vehicles park where the parked vehicle can be seen. Residents there walk to and from their parked vehicles at random times including at night. Each condo has a covered porch where residents often sit, located on both far ends.

The blind can clearly be opened further. As it is it's not really concealing anything of me, and is only really blocking sky. Opening it fully might be too far and make it less possible for it to seem that my exposure is due to me being oblivious of it or that I'm not aware of it. If it has to be open even more to satisfy the requirement, then it will be. Just preferably not fully open. I do realize that the purpose and idea might be for a more open blind to possibly attract more notice, but there is one other thing to know.

My window is the only window on the entire side of the building. It's all stucco wall otherwise. So not only is my window lit up at night, but it's the only window on an otherwise bare, large outside wall.

When anyone looks my way at night. there is nothing else to see besides for me naked in bed. Even if I'm able to delude myself that no one really notices me, I still know that can't realistically be true.

For anyone outside looking in my window at night, it will be possible very soon for them to see that I have an erection, or even worse for me, to see me asleep and humping the bed. I can't even say that I hope I won't get an erection or hump the bed at night naked, since I know that both of those things are going to occur within the next few days and for days after. 

Updates will be included as necessary. 

 

I also borrowed a not-so-bad camera overnight fro someone I know. I said I needed to take a profile photo for a website I joined. After transferring the photo to my laptop, I deleted the photo from the camera and returned it. At least I think and hope it was completely deleted. If not then I might find out soon enough. The camera had a timer, so I was able to take a photo of me naked in bed at night with the uncovered window visible beyond.

Note that this photo was taken before the blind was raised a bit higher.

 

 UPDATE 1: After one day and one night without masturbating.

 

As expected, the first day without masturbating wasn't too difficult.  The night did end up being harder than expected though. While trying to fall asleep I couldn't help becoming aroused and getting an erection. As I laid there I was was very aware that anyone could be seeing me naked and hard through the window. I had an urge to hide it or conceal it, but I knew I couldn't, since there is no such thing as privacy for me whenever I'm in bed. The blind had just recently been raised more, and even though I was already entirely exposed before it was raised, I felt much more exposed. 

I tried turning onto my stomach, but the contact between my erection and the bed made my arousal even worse. The best I could do was to lay on my back again and leave my erection exposed to the view of anyone who could see me through the window. 

I did fall asleep at some point. I don't know what time it was when I first woke up, but when I did I found that I was already humping the bed. As soon as I realized it I stopped, but my erection was too sensitive to leave in contact with the bed. I had to turn over and once again expose my erection to possible view.

Just before 5 am I woke up again humping the bed. This time I was way too aroused to want to stop though. I just couldn't make myself care that I might be being watched or seen at the time. I just wanted to keep feeling my erection touch and rub the bed. I felt humiliated that someone might be watching me doing it, but I just couldn't stop. I kept doing it for several minutes with my ass bouncing up and down the whole time. I wish now that I would have or could have stopped, but at that time I just couldn't stop. 

It's going to be a long week, and it looks as if I'm going to put on quite a display naked for anyone who sees me through the window during the nights.

                               
UPDATE 2: After two days and nights of not masturbating.

On my second day of not masturbating, I woke up with an erection. I'd been asleep for a few hours straight by then, and I have no idea how much of that time I spent with and erection. I also don't know what I did while asleep or if anyone saw me. It was really hard for me to ignore my strong urge to masturbate, but I knew I wasn't supposed to so I didn't.

 I got up and went out and took care of some things during the morning. After that I went to get a much needed and overdue haircut. In the barbers chair while covered up with the sheet they use, I did get an erection for a few minutes. I felt it start without any real reason, but once it started I had to sit there with it until it somehow went away before the sheet was removed. 

A while later I started feeling tired and not so good, but I pushed myself along until I got home. By late evening I felt so tired that I went to bed earlier than usual. As I got into bed naked and began my night of being exposed naked to anyone outside, I knew I would fall asleep quickly. I really must have been tired, since I slept for about seven hours without waking up once. I woke up just before it was about to get light out without any idea about whether I was seen or looked at during the night or whether I had any erections or humped my bed during the night. I feel like both of those things may have happened, but without me waking up to know about it. 

As I start my third day of not masturbating, I still don't feel all that well and plan to stay home for the day. At some point I'll probably lie down in bed for a while. Of course I know that even during daytime that still means I have to be naked and exposed to anyone outside, but if I want to lie down I have to accept being exposed. I may not be as visible to anyone looking in as I am during the night, but I know it's still possible for me to be seen. There are also a lot more people out and about during the day, but I doubt that I will be able to put off lying down for too long. 

NEAR THE END OF THE THIRD DAY:

No update was planned for now, but I need to vent and try to distract myself. 

Right now I'm not even going to say that I'm aroused. I'm outright horny. I keep getting one erection after another with no way to relieve them. I even keep thrusting my hips forward as if I'm trying to hump the air. Knowing I can't masturbate and being so horny with a hard-on has even made be whine a little bit a few times out of desperation. I sure didn't expect anything like this after just a few days. It's still a few hours until I'll go to bed, but if I stay as horny as I am then I can only imagine how my night in bed naked will be. I'm afraid I'll have a hard-on all night and end up humping my bed way too much. 

Since I know anyone could be watching me through my window, I'm going to try not to put on much of a show for them to see. I won't be able to do anything about them seeing me with an endless hard-on, but at least while I'm awake I have control to not hump my bed. I know once I fall asleep though, it's out of my control. I'm not much looking forward to what tonight will be like while I'm exposed naked all night. I guess I'll know by morning though, which will then be related here. I'm sure I'll need to vent and occupy myself again by then.

AFTER THIRD NIGHT OF NO MASTURBATING:

My third night without masturbating was torture. I did get an erection soon after getting into bed. I knew I wasn't supposed to hide it from anyone who might be looking in at me through the window, so by trying as hard as I could I was able to leave it alone without even touching it. Just as I was falling asleep though, I made the mistake of turning onto my stomach. The contact of me dick with the bed was exasperating. It felt way, way too good. I didn't actually start humping my bed, but even though I knew I might be being seen, I couldn't help slightly rubbing my dick on the bed. I tried not to move my hips any more than necessary, but I knew to anyone looking it would look a lot like I was humping. I faced away from the window so I wouldn't keep being reminded that I was entirely exposed while I did it. 

I still don't know how I managed to fall asleep, but somehow I did while lying on my stomach. I slept for four hours straight and woke up with a partial erection. I was also lying on my side with my knees drawn up and with my bare ass facing the window. I don't know what those four hours might have exposed me doing. I just know that I had at least two nonsensical dreams during that time. 

One was that my car got stuck in some mud along a residential street and for some reason i was naked. In the dream I had to walk naked and alone to some house that was way off in the distance but visible. It was also day time in my dream. When I got to the house, some people I didn't know were angry at me for failing to bring some item along from my car. They made me walk back to it to retrieve the item. I don;t even know what item it was.

Once I got there my car was somehow no longer stuck, and as the dream ended I was beginning to drive it back to the house. Strangely, the many people who I passed by or who saw me in the dream acted as if I was either not naked, or like they didn't care a bit about it.

I don't recall much about the other dream except that it was unsettling and that in the dream I suspected that it was only a dream.

After waking up after the dreams, I sat up for about twenty minutes before returning to bed. I laid there with erections coming and going for a good while, wanting to masturbate very much. Fortunately I fell asleep again and slept for three and a half more hours until my alarm went off just after dawn. I had "morning wood" and had to pee pretty bad, so I had to get out of bed soon after I shut off the alarm. 

My fourth day of not masturbating started as day with some driving around needing to be done. While driving, the contact of my jeans on my dick caused a few erections. Not wearing underwear means my dick does just about whatever it wants to, and at a couple of red traffic lights I was in the middle of three lanes. Each time  higher vehicle was stopped beside me, especially on my passenger side, I hoped the erection in my pants wasn't visible enough for anyone beside me to notice it. 

I actually thought about taking it out of my jeans to avoid the contact, but I knew anyone stopped beside me or passing me might see it. My car also sits quite low down, which means any SUV, Pick Up truck, or large truck passengers or drivers can see down into my car pretty easily. I doubt things will be much different for the rest of the day.

AFTER A FOURTH NIGHT OF NO MASTURBATING

My fourth day of not masturbating went a little better than it began. Erections would occur, and when alone I would unconsciously reach for or rub my erection, only to quickly realize what I was doing. I didn't want to stop, but with some effort I managed to keep restraining myself. 

Once going to bed at night, things went surprisingly easy. As I dozed off I was aware that I had just a partial erection and did my best to ignore it. 

I woke up at around 2 am to find that I was on my stomach and my right leg had extended partially off the edge of the bed, which is probably what woke me up. That's an uncommon occurrence for me, so it makes me wonder why it happened now. I can only assume that I might be humping the bed more often or more intensely during sleep, and somehow I did that enough or for a long enough time for my leg to get to past the edge of the bed. 

I prefer to think that no one was seeing me through the window at the time, but I don't know if that's true. If anyone did see me, I can't even begin to imagine what they might have seen of me. 

I got out of bed briefly after that, but I was still so tired that within minutes I had to return to bed. I apparently fell asleep again quickly, since I don't recall lying there for very long. I have no recollection about anything after that until I woke up at dawn, which seems to be around the time I almost automatically wake up each morning. I did have a full erection when I woke that refused to go away though. It was bouncing around as I got out of bed. As I commonly do in the morning, I had to pee quite badly. By the time I made it into the bathroom, my erection had barely relented, and I had to lean forward quite a bit to be able to pee. 

Still early into my fifth day of not masturbating, things seem to be going alright so far. My penis feels as if it's been rubbed quite a bit, which I can only assume was due to me excessively humping the bed during the past night. I must really be going at it while I'm asleep. 

I've also noticed that the neighbor with the nearest window that I can be seen from during the night has started to open the slats on her Venetian blind after dark each night, and then closes the slats after daylight. The window can be seen on the right side of the first photo included in the main post above. It may be a coincidence, but it may be that she is in there in the dark room at night watching me in bed naked, or even watching me as I do whatever I'm doing while I'm asleep. 

There seems to be no way to know for sure, and even if I could know, it doesn't change a thing. There's no stopping her or anyone else from looking.

EVENING OF FIFTH DAY:

Not much new or different occurred throughout the day. There were the erections that would come and go, even for no apparent reason.

One thing that's definitely new and hasn't happened to be for a very long time was I nearly came (or cummed) without the slightest erection and while I was "soft". 

I was carrying a mid sized trash bag on one hand, and held a box a little bigger than a shoe box in the other hand. The cardboard box was small but a bit heavy, so I held it against my stomach. I was naked at the time.

I was heading through two rooms to place everything near the door so I could later take it out and put it in the trash.

As I was carrying the slightly heavy box, it started to slip down along my stomach as I walked. It wasn't too far to walk so I figured I'd get there before dropping the box. The box finally slipped down and made contact with my penis.

Right away it felt good. Very good. I only took a few more steps when I suddenly realized I was just one more step away from cumming. I froze in place and I wasn't sure if I'd already passed the point of no return. Apparently I'd just missed that point and the feeling slowly subsided. I could barely believe what had just happened, I was soft but I had no doubt that I was as close to cumming as I could get without it actually happening. 

A while afterward, I wondered why I had frozen in place rather than just letting it happen. I know it had to be because I knew it was a form or method of masturbating even if I didn't have that exact thought at the time. I knew it would be wrong if I came from any form of masturbation that I was aware of happening. I knew I still had at least two more days to go before anything like that might be able to happen, and even longer of the tie vote in the poll isn't broken by then, or if another decision is for abstaining from it. 

I don't think a wet dream is too possible even if I can't say it wouldn't happen. I do think it's starting to be possible for me to cum in my sleep while humping the bed. I can't really imagine that happening, but I could barely imagine almost cumming with a soft penis either until it happened. I know it would feel good, probably like the wet dream I did once have. That time it occurred after being where there was no chance for days of being able to masturbate unnoticed. I recall waking up, feeling an amazingly good feeling, and being confused about how waking up could possibly feel that good, until I realized...

If I do somehow cum in my sleep, I will admit it and hope that it'll be believed that I didn't just intentionally masturbate while knowing I can't.

MORNING OF SIXTH DAY - NO MORE MASTURBATING FOR ME!

I woke up this morning after a night of exposure and I just expected another day of nearly constant arousal and getting erections repeatedly. I did a few things before I got around to checking on the most recent poll  results at: https://forms.gle/rfLKisCWHbUyha1f6

I checked the poll last evening and I saw a tie still existed, so I expected to see the decisions still tied like they've been for a few days. At first I thought something had loaded wrong and refreshed the page. Once it reloaded what I saw made me unable to move or think for a few seconds. The tie was not only broken, but one option had been clearly and undeniably decided upon. I am now entirely forbidden from masturbating at all. My week of not masturbating has no end now. 

I have to admit that my first thought was "OH NO". I think that because I'm in a nearly perpetual state of arousal by now, I got an instant erection. I didn't want to or mean to get one, especially after realizing that I cannot purposely or willingly masturbate at all any longer. I seem to be so aroused by now that even seeing that I have to remain that way was enough for me to get a stiff erection. I'm definitely in what is uncharted territory for me.

I hate to admit that I had the thought of trying to change or tamper with the results before anyone saw them. I knew right away that was ridiculous since those who made the decisions would obviously know what they decided. There could be no hiding it. I also realized there was no means or mechanism for affecting any results. I knew I was resigned to the decision. 

I couldn't think too clearly for a few minutes as I worked to accept my reality. Then I began to realize some of what it would mean.

I will stay in a heightened state of arousal most of the time. It will continue to feel as though my penis is in charge of me and is control, with me feeling at it's mercy but with it having little or no mercy. My inhibitions will surely be and remain at lower levels.

I'm already having unusual and vivid dreams which seem to be a result of not masturbating for so long, maybe combined with having to sleep naked and exposed each night. In the dreams I am almost always naked and always end up being exposed, usually quite publicly.Those seem to often coincide with me ending up awakening in bed to realize I'm in the process of humping the bed and with an erection.

It seems inevitable now that if it hasn't happened already, anyone looking in at me through the window during the night is going to see me either with an erection or see me humping the bed naked. Even both could be seen by the same person or people. When those people see me outside during the day, they will be sure to picture me or recall seeing me that way no matter how many clothes I have on at the time. It's just sure to happen now.

I know at some point in time I am going to end up cumming without intending to. It could happen in bed with a wet dream or from humping the bed while sleeping. I dread the fact that it could also happen anywhere at any time while I'm out somewhere. It could happen at work and with other people around. It could happen in some place like the grocery store or some other store, in the middle of a parking lot, or anywhere else in public.

By not masturbating for so long, it seems it can occur even without me having an erection. Whenever it does happen, it's sure to be an extremely intense climax and orgasm. I've had some very intense ones when I would masturbate after not doing it for tow or three days. The next time is sure to be even more intense. I will try, but I don't see how it wont be pretty obvious what's happening to anyone who might be nearby. 

Wherever I am at the time, I will most likely panic to some degree once I realize it's going to happen and can't be stopped. I expect that it will stop me in place wherever I am, and if I haven;t made any sounds by then, the intensity of the orgasm will probably be too much and I will probably involuntarily let out a moan or two that may quite loud. 

I have almost no doubt at all that it will cause me to thrust my hips forward and back again a few times as I'm cumming no matter how much I try to prevent it. I will basically be stuck in place as this happens no matter where I am and no matter how many others are around me. An unusually large wet spot will unavoidably appear on my pants between my legs, which will all but confirm what is happening to anyone around who is seeing me. They will all know for sure that I just climaxed and came right there in public and right there in front of them, and there won't be a thing I can do about it.

I can hope to avoid it happening, but I may not be able to and I there's no way to know when it might happen. I do know for sure that I will cum at some point. It just won't be under my control about when or where it happens. I suppose that's up to my penis, and it's incapable of caring about when or where it does what it does.

I should probably relate a little more about how the recent sixth night went. 

I fell asleep without having an erection, but something about falling asleep seems to cause erections to begin and rarely stop. Even when I wake up on my back, I will have an erection. With some cooler weather at the moment, the window sash is down and the light in the room shows my naked reflection in the glass if I look that way. Last night I could clearly see my erection in the glass, and what I can see, so can anyone who might be looking in. On my stomach and looking that way I can see me bare butt cheeks along with the rest of me naked. I can only imagine how it must look when I'm humping the bed and my butt is going up and down. Some of the people nearby probably know exactly how it looks.

Since this post is becoming very long with the updates, one more day of updates will be related here. After that it seems that a new post will be needed to provide additional updates. Especially since I won't be masturbating anymore. The decision in the poll seems unlikely to change anytime soon, since it has a clear majority.

SEVENTH DAY OF NO MASTURBATING:

This will be the last update in this post. Further updates will be related in a new post with updates being related as necessary.

Last night I was very tired but I only went to bed at around 11 pm, which is usually what time I go to bed. When being in bed and sleeping exposed through the window first became a requirement for me, I might have stayed out of bed later to slightly delay my exposure, but I seem to have gotten to the point where I know that's futile. It's not that I'm used to being exposed naked all night long, but I know it's unavoidable and it's a little less hard to just accept that I will be exposed and that whoever will see me will see me. It's probably best to describe it as that I'm just resigning myself to it being that way.

Being tired, I fell asleep in a short time after getting into bed. I did get an erection at one point while dozing off, but I just let it be. I couldn't do anything about it and I knew if anyone was looking in at me, they were already seeing that it was there. I tried putting all of the out of my mind as I dozed off.

I'm not sure of what time it was, but I woke up sometime later with my bare ass nearly off of the edge of the bed nearest to the window, and I knew I had been thrusting my hips. I was mostly lying on my right side and my penis wasn't really in contact with the bed. I had an erection and it seems as though I was just humping nothing. My bare ass must have been thrusting towards the window. My hip muscles felt as if I'd been going for a while, so I had probably been doing it for a while. 

I stopped doing it right as I woke up and I thought how curious it was that I had been doing it. I was still tired, so I just lied there, but as I woke up a little more it dawned on me that I had been on display like that for who knows how long, and I'd been doing it as close to the window as I could be without leaving the bed. I also realized that I was still lying like that with my bare ass slightly pushed out towards the window. 

I was comfortable in that position though, and I knew that if anyone had looked or was looking, they had already seen everything. The thought I had then was "screw it". I fell asleep again without changing my position. 

I do still feel very exposed in bed, and I know really am very exposed, but as I'm resigning myself to being exposed I seem to be dwelling on it less and less. Instead of lying there thinking about it a lot, I'm a little more able to accept that this is how it will be whether I dwell on it or not. I think it's just a little bit easier now for me to push those thoughts out of my head and to fall asleep. 

Absolutely nothing changes except for in my mind, but since that's all that can change it's at least something. I think I'm realizing on a deeper level that since I've already been seen a few times, and realizing that I will inevitably be seen more, that I just have to accept it. At night my naked body, my erections, humping the bed, and everything else are more or less public. As humiliating as that is, it's mostly true. 

When I only partly wake up during he night, I'm even forgetting that I'm exposed, even though it comes back to me once I wake up more or look towards the uncovered window.

Sometime well into the very early morning I woke up just barely. I was on my back with a full erection. I don't know how to explain the concept, but with a full erection I can make it move up and down by using some reflex that feels like drawing or pulling in. I think it's similar to the process of getting the last squirts out while peeing. 

As I lay there partly awake, I did that and my erection lifted up a little, then fell back down once I relaxed the reflex. I did this around a dozen times and I was enjoying the feeling of it. I finally stopped doing it and started trying to fall back asleep when I realized that for that whole time I had still been exposed through the window. I had a quick thought of "Aw" as I realized what may have been displayed if anyone was looking in at me, But then I resigned myself to the fact that whatever I did was probably going to be seen by nearby others no matter what I did or how I felt about it. 

I also know that being exposed requires that nothing can remain private or unable to be seen even when it's extremely humiliating. When I inevitably see or encounter anyone nearby who has seen me exposed is when humiliation will apply. 

I will admit this as a final part of this update. Without masturbating for a week now, the fact that I will be humiliated when someone nearby who has seen me exposed sees me in person seems to have triggered a full erection for me. I prefer not to think much about how or why that is, and will attribute it to my nearly constant state of high arousal due to lack of masturbation. 

Further updates needed will be in a new post to follow.