More common arousal and erections

 Thirteen days without any masturbation or relief from arousal and being in a state of arousal is still occurring more frequently and seems more intense. I'm beginning to doubt that there is ever going to be a point where it just can't become any more intense than it already is. 

During the first several days, becoming aroused and having an erection became much more common than it did when I could still masturbate daily or multiple times per day. Into the second week I thought it may have plateaued and might remain much the same as days passed. After even more days passed, I realized that how often I was aroused and how often I got an erection was still increasing, but just not at such a noticeable rate. Day after day I'm finding that I'm getting even more erections and often at times when I'm not even sure of what triggered it. The erections seem to be lasting longer and are more difficult to get rid of.

At work, the pants I wear are more loose fitting, so an erection may not be too apparent to anyone who might potentially notice. Any other time though, my pants do very little to conceal the long raised shape of an erection in my pants. I've recently discovered that I may have been misjudging just how noticeable an erection in my pants might actually be.

I recently had to go to a large drug store to drop off a prescription for someone, and then wait while it was filled. While standing in line I felt my penis begin to stir and within a minute or so I had an erection. The pharmacy was in a wide alcove area, so I felt somewhat concealed. Most of those in line in front of me mostly faced away from me, although I was aware that on my left there was a line of chairs against one wall where people could sit to wait as their prescriptions were being filled.

Once I dropped off the prescription, I was told that it should be ready in twenty minutes or so. I went over and sat down in one of the chairs along the wall. I still had an erection and I knew it might be visible to those who were now waiting in line. I casually looked down and my erection didn't seem too noticeable. Then I noticed that on the opposite wall, on the other side of those waiting in line, there was a large mirror that had a few small displays on either end of it. 

Nearly in the center of the mirror I saw my own reflection if me sitting in the chair, and the erection in my pants appeared prominently and quite noticeable. I shifted in my seat to see if changing the angle made a difference, but it didn't. Even closing my legs made very little difference, if any.

The more I tried to will or wish the erection away, the more full the erection appeared to be. I finally settled on just waiting for it to subside on its own and figured no one would really notice. 

It seemed to work that way for a minute or so, until I saw a guy go from looking away from me to looking right at me, and I was sure I saw a quick glance between my legs. He then returned to looking away from me. I was a little bit relieved when he did look away until it occurred to me that he was likely just looking at my reflection in the large mirror.

Only a couple minutes later I noticed a husky woman in a tank top and shorts looking my way. She had tattoos on both shoulders and one on her ankle. When I looked right at her, her gaze seemed to suddenly rise from between my legs to my face. When she saw me returning the look she just smiled slightly and began looking around. I was sure she glanced my way again a few more times, but it was too quick for me to know for sure. 

She finally made her way to the service window and a minute or so later the prescription I was waiting for was ready. I left there feeling sure that at least a couple people there knew that I had an erection under my pants. 

It was one of those now more common times when I could almost swear that my penis wants everyone to know and see that it's erect, in spite of how exposed I feel or how humiliating it is for my erection to be noticed in public. If that was true then it's my penis that is getting what it wants. 

There are more and more times while I have an erection that I have to consciously prevent myself from actively thrusting my hips. I usually notice only after one or two thrusts have occurred and then I have to cover it by pretending to stretch or shift positions for how I'm sitting or standing. I don't know if that works to fool anyone, but it's all I have and I have to at least try it.

At night in bed there's no pretending or anything else. Since I'm naked eveything is right out there and anyone who might look in through the window would see literally everything.

If I'm tired enough, I may doze off without getting much of an erection. But for some reason an erection seems to occur shortly afterwards. I'm not sure but I think it's due to that once I begin to fall asleep, my guard is let down and there is nothing preventing my arousal from showing in whatever way it can. Since sleep cannot be avoided, my nightly exposure seems to include an erection more and more. I'm waking up with an erection more often than ever, and they refuse to subside for a longer and longer time. For the most part I just try to ignore them and go back to sleep if I can. 

Not long ago I was at least able to turn onto my stomach and at least temporarily make it not so obvious to anyone who might be seeing me. This still left my bare ass exposed, so it wasn't ideal. Recently though, I can't seem to even fully doze off on my stomach before I find myself humping the bed. My bare ass is not only exposed, but it ends up being thrust upwards and then downwards over and over again, and impossible not to be observed if anyone happened to be looking in through the window at me. 

Just last night I woke up on my stomach, humping the bed non stop. It felt so good that in my half awake state I didn't care to stop it. As I enjoyed the feeling it suddenly all came back to me that I was exposed naked through the window. I opened my eyes and looked towards the window just as my final thrust was occurring. I saw a reflection of my own bare ass rise up in an arch and go down once more. It's nearly certain that this is also occurring while I'm asleep and at times I'm just not waking up to know it or to stop it. 

A newer and more recent development appears to be that I'm now thrusting my hips and my erection upwards even while I'm lying on my back. I've woken up to find myself doing this several times already over the last few nights. It's now one more way that I'm exposed and potentially seen by much of the neighborhood.

Without being able to masturbate, it's seeming more and more inevitable that more and more of the neighborhood around me is going to see all of this eventually. It's very likely that some have already seen it.

Being exposed to view naked in bed comes with it's own degree of humiliation. Being seen by anyone who simply looks towards my window increases that degree. The potential for being seen humping the bed naked, and seen much more often with an erection just seems to ensure a high degree of humiliation. I feel it at the time while exposed, and even more so when seeing or encountering those near me during the day, knowing they may or actually have seen eveything. 

A recent look at the questionnaire results so far shows that there will be no masturbating for me. This practically ensures that others will keep noticing the outline of my erections in my pants during the day, and that most or all of those nearby my window will end up seeing me naked and erect at night, and thrusting my hips naked. There's also an ever increasing risk that I may accidentally or unintentionally climax and cum in the middle of some public place, and end up just having to stand or sit there as it occurs. 

The most unusual and unexpected thing of all for me has to be that things that didn't cause me any arousal before, and things that still shouldn't really cause any arousal for me, are actually leading me to become aroused. Sometimes even highly aroused. 

One example is the questionnaire. A part of me is startled and alarmed that I cannot masturbate for at least what will surely be a long time, if ever. That does entirely depend on whether decisions in the questionnaire allow a change. I can't figure out why it is, but the realization that I cannot masturbate and won't be able to anytime soon causes me to become erect and aroused. I don't quite understand why this happens, since it's as if my mind and my penis aren't in agreement on how to react. It's as if my mind is saying "Oh no!" while my penis is enjoying it. 

https://forms.gle/c5J2e99Sx94kNi3UA 

It's just one more reason why it can seem as though my penis is in charge, is liking every bit of it, and has no desire for anything to change.