Nightly Exposure being observed

My nightly and night long exposure has been occurring ever since it became one of the requirements in the results of a now closed poll. The requirement is that I sleep naked in a well lit room, where the bed is in full view of the window. The window blind is to remain open, and no sheets or covers can be used to cover up or conceal me at any time.

During the first couple of months of this, and as I was getting adjusted to being exposed naked every night, I was only aware of being seen or observed on a couple of occasions. I knew then how much of a difference there is between knowing I could be seen and actually knowing that I was being seen naked at that very moment. At that moment I knew that one or more people that I didn't really know, but who I would see or encounter during the day, was looking at every part of my naked body that they could see, and they knew they were completely free to look for as long as they wanted to. I also knew that now that they had seen me naked, they might continue to look to see when I might be exposed again for them to see. 

Over the last few months, I really have no idea how many people may have seen me naked at night, or how many times or how often they might be looking. While it's completely dark outside, the view is mostly one way since the light inside makes it hard to see anything beyond the window other than reflections of the inside of the room and my own naked reflection. I'm also asleep or trying to sleep at those times, so anyone looking at me then would basically be free to look while never being known about by me.

I thought I might be jumping to conclusions at first, but on some mornings when I would wake up as daylight was coming, I started to notice that there seemed to be a bit more activity outside than there usually was. Once there would be a little bit of daylight I could begin to see a bit more of what was going on outside. I could see people walking, going to or from vehicles, walking dogs, or just being out there. I knew that in the dim daylight, if I could see them then they could surely see me on the bed in a lit room.

I told myself that all of that must always have occurred, and that I was just noticing it now. I thought it was conceited to think that any of it had anything to do with me. I told myself that most or all of them weren't even noticing me in bed naked, let alone looking at me or observing me.

I got myself to believe that for a while and for the most part, and it might actually be true at times for some people who are out there at some times. But it doesn't seem to be true for others. Some do seem to find some reason to be outside at around the same time each morning, even if they seem to have no reason to be out there. They also always seem to be out there before it gets too light outside or before the time when I get out of bed.

I'm partly convinced that some people nearby have realized that before it's too light outside and before the time comes when I usually get out of bed, that they can see me without having to venture out in the dark or at some very late or very early time.

It could all be coincidence, and attributing any of that to being about seeing me naked could be entirely off base, but it's increasing seeming to be accurate. If it is accurate, then I now have one or more regular and repeated viewers, at least until seeing me becomes too routine or my naked body becomes too well known and familiar to them. 

   

As impossible as it is to ever expect to be exposed naked without being seen naked, I surely never expected for there to be regular viewers, if that is in fact the case. It's looking more and more as though I'm becoming one of the regular sights or an interesting attraction for viewing by nearby others. And not a temporary one. 

Also, it's now 60 plus days into my requirement for no masturbating at all. The poll for this still remains open, but it's continuing to appear that there will be no reprieve on this for me, and that remaining aroused and horny for much of the time will continue indefinitely.

https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K

Exposure Poll closed and results permanent. Poll deciding masturbation remains open.

 Either for better or for worse depending on someone's viewpoint, the poll for what exposure I deserve has had to be closed, this time permanently. The poll had previously been closed, but reopened to enable additional responses. Not only did the decided results not change, but the majority decisions were further reinforced and confirmed. 

After weeks of no new responses at all, the final decisions were very clear.

The final and permanent results of the closed poll are and always will be:

1- The online exposure of David Steckel must be available and presented directly to others, including to those who know him personally.

2- David Steckel must have no say say about any post of him naked made by anyone, and cannot ask or request the removal of any post.

3- David Steckel's device (PC) must be available through a remote access application for anyone who wishes to access it. The access information must remain available to other

4- When encountered in person or when present with David Steckel, he must strip naked when requested to, and he must give all clothing as a gift to whoever is present, and remain in his naked state.

5- David Steckel must sleep naked every night for the entire night, with lights on, without any covering, and with the window blind raised to enable is exposure through the window for all to see.

This must occur when sleeping or spending a night anywhere it is possible, to the furthest extent possible.

The final and permanent results of this are that my exposure must always be available and presented directly to others, including to those who know me.

I have no say so about any post of me naked made by anyone, and cannot ask for its removal.

My PC must remain available for access through a remote access app by anyone. All photos and videos on the PC must remain available for copy or transfer for free use by others. All websites frequented by me or where I have a page or membership must remain able to be visited or accessed. 

Teamviewer address: 1 054 262 400 Password: Nakedandexposed1

Anydesk address: 990 573 524 Password: Showmystuff1

Firefox browser is primarily used browser.

In person and when requested, I must strip naked and present my clothing as a gift to whoever is present. How or if any clothing is returned is entirely up to whoever then currently owns and possesses the clothing.

I can never spend a night while not being exposed to view naked to others beyond the room or location unless circumstances make it impossible.

The remaining poll at: https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K currently has 2 votes allowing me to masturbate, and 12 votes deciding that I must not masturbate, and can only climax if it occurs without being caused by me. It ca only occur spontaneously on its own, and possibly if it is caused by someone other than me. 

While still allowed, my last climax occurred on January 1st 2023 in the early morning. I've had to remain aroused and horny often since then without being allowed to cause an ejaculation. Unless or until I receive permission through the poll to masturbate, I must continue to abstain form it entirely. This poll is to remain open until approximately February 1st of 2024. 

This poll was the obvious choice to remain open, since its closure at the current time would remove the possibility for me to ever receive permission to masturbate. Once this poll does close, the decisions of others and the results will become as permanent as the results of the now closed poll. 

In all cases, the decisions made by a majority of others is always to be obeyed will be final upon the ending of or closing of a poll. 

Up-to-date on nightly exposure and no masturbating

 As much is it could go without saying due to all requirements for me being obeyed, I'm still remaining exposed naked each night and while in bed.

In the last photo, a car with its headlight on can be seen approaching in the direction of the window. It's not known if its occupants saw me, but in the early morning light they may have. Of course all night long and while it's fully dark outside I remain exposed and observable although I am asleep and unaware of any of it for most or all of that time. 

                                             David Steckel sleeping while exposed naked through window
 

Although being exposed naked to view all night does still include periods of time of feeling extremely exposed and feeling at least moderately humiliated at times, I believe my public exposure each night is becoming or even is a matter of course for me.

When getting into bed I can often do it without much thought about my being naked, the lights being on, or about the window being uncovered. It's basically the new normal for me. I can become quite aware of my exposure if I look directly at the window from my bed, especially if I can see beyond the window, so I make an attempt to not look in that direction. 

Due to not masturbating, which has been the case now for 55+ days and nights, erections occur every night and usually multiple times per night. Once I fall asleep, any time I wake up during the night I tend to already have an erection. To be able to fall asleep again quickly, I found it best to just ignore the erections. I obviously get them while asleep and anyone observing me would see them anyway, so it doesn't seem worthwhile to pay attention to them while I'm briefly awake. 

I still wake up to find myself on my stomach humping the bed or on my back thrusting upwards, but the most I can do then is to stop doing it and assume that anyone observing me has seen it. Apparently as long as I'm aroused or horny from not masturbating, these things will continue and aren't preventable. I just have to consider them as being part of my nightly exposure to the neighborhood. 

For at least some nearby, my nightly exposure naked is likely a fixture that is expected to be there. Especially for those who have the best line of sight view of my bed through the window. Those who arrive home late in the evening or who leave early in the morning before or just after dawn have every opportunity to see me. The rest of the night is an open question since the comings and goings of others is random and unpredictable. 

It's a strange dichotomy though, since during the day my body is mostly mine to conceal or keep covered up, but at night none of that is the case. Seeing me completely naked and exposed is as simple as looking towards my window, and the opportunity to view me is not brief or temporary. It lasts for the entire night and well into or after dawn at the current time. 

As the time for sunrise and sunset changes over time, how long I am exposed each night won't change. From between 10:30 and 11:00 pm each night until between 7:00 and 7:30 am each morning I will be exposed to view naked. Any night where I am extra tired and go to be earlier, it only means that my exposure begins earlier that night.

 

First Accidental Ejaculation and Exposure update with morning exposure video

 First I have to mention that on the morning of my 50th day without masturbating, I spontaneously ejaculated a few drops of cum. It happened while I was reviewing a video just taken of what's come to be my morning exposure through the window in my bedroom. As a way to become more accustomed to remaining exposed all night, I've begun to briefly be exposed to a greater degree just after sunrise on most mornings. At that time it's not so dark to make me extremely obvious, and it's light enough to see whether I was seen or not, especially if it's on video. I may not know about being seen at the time, but a review of a video can show whether my morning exposure has been observed by anyone who was outside. Through a recent video I did discover afterwards that I actually had been seen.

As I was reviewing a more recent video that showed no obvious signs of anyone seeing me, I saw how I was being displayed at the time. Not having masturbated for 50 days has me extremely aroused at many times, and as I watched my display, I imagined that it was someone other than me who had to be displayed as I was in the video. 

Just the thought of someone else having to be displayed like that even if someone was seeing them caused me to have an erection that was stiffer than many others I get. I was naked at the time, so no clothing was touching my erection. I became so aroused that I thrust my hips a few times, and on the third thrust I felt a climax approaching. As usual when that occurs I froze in place, expecting it to subside as usual. This time it kept coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Apparently I held still just in time to limit it though, since only one single spurt came out before things subsided. 

I had not touched my penis and neither had anything else except for air, but I still had a minor ejaculation. Right away I felt wrong and felt like I violated the requirement to never masturbate. But I knew that I hadn't masturbated. It seems that my body is at a point where it insists on ejaculating or "cumming" no matter what I do. So much arouses me or turns me on now compared to when I used to masturbate that there's no way to.completely avoid arousal. Of course I will keep obeying my requirement never to masturbate, but now it appears that occasional ejaculations are inevitable and will occur anywhere at any time whether I want them to or not. 

Here is the video I was reviewing when the minor ejaculation occurred:

 

 Just a quick review for context. I sleep naked each night with multiple lights on, without coverings, and with the window blind raised. A portion of the neighborhood has the ability to see me, which more and more people seem to be making use of. I can be observed from multiple residences through their windows from inside, so I can be observed by some people in private.

With some new and brighter bulbs in some lights in my bedroom, I am much more illuminated naked all night than I was with the older light bulbs. Even after months of sleeping exposed naked I still feel some anxiety at times about being on perpetual display naked. The brighter lights only added to my anxiety. It's not exactly anxiety though. It's more of a sense of heightened awareness that can make it difficult to sleep. 

I'm fine with a single light on with a dim bulb, but of course I'm barely exposed by that and may not be exposed at all. I know that unless the light level is sufficient for me to be visible, I'm not following the requirement for being exposed while in bed at night.

The morning exposure sessions will hopefully make being exposed and seen during the night seem more minor and allow me to sleep better even while I'm exposed, easily visible, and seen. With more and more nearby others seemingly becoming more interested in seeing me and paying a lot of attention to my bedroom window, I need some way that helps me to remain more passive about this and accepting of it. 

My exposure each night is required and has to occur, and I realize that being seen is also inevitable. It's more often now me being watched rather than just seen, since more people are now aware that I'm always there naked to look at, and they are taking their time to see as much as they can. I suppose they are just taking advantage of the fact that I'm there to be seen, which I suppose is an inevitable result of my exposure to them.

I never thought this far ahead or expected to become an ongoing source of entertainment for so many nearby others, but that does seem to be what is occurring. I can only guess or assume that those who decided I would be required to be exposed every night expected or knew this would occur, and they wanted to be sure I did get the exposure that I deserved. 

The morning exposures and the videos do seem to be working to help me be more accepting of my nightly exposure, although this is still a new and recent thing and may take more time to have more of an effect. 

I have to admit that some other advice I received does seem to help very much during my times of being exposed and seen. When I remind myself and repeat "I deserve this" or "This is what I deserve" while I'm being exposed or seen naked, it's much easier to accept. It at least gives me something to focus on at the time, and I have nothing that says or shows that it isn't completely true and accurate. 

Also, some photos were clipped from the video where I was seen exposed and with my ass raised towards the window. They will also be included in the previous post about them.

https://davidsteckelnakedandexposed.blogspot.com/2023/02/seen-very-exposed-through-window.html 

First is a photo of me while I was turned around towards the camera to show what could be seen of me through the window by anyone outside.

 Next is a photo of me being seen for the first time, followed by an enlargement of a small area where the viewer was located.

 

The viewer can't be seen too clearly, but it is someone standing still looking at my ass. I just didn't know it then and only found out later by watching the video.

The next photo shows the second time I was seen, about eleven minutes later. It's followed by an enlargement of the are where the viewer stood. They can be seen better this time, and they stood there looking for longer than when I was seen the first time.

 

I didn't know I was seen the second time either until it was seen in the video. Whoever they are, they saw me with my ass exposed and raised.

Seen VERY Exposed through window

 If it's not known already, I'm required to spend each night in bed completely naked, with bright lights on, without coverings of any kind, and with the window blind raised, which fully enables anyone nearby or passing through to see or observe me naked.

As mentioned in previous posts, for most of the night I am asleep or at least unable to see or know if or when I am being looked at. During the day though, quite a few who live nearby and those who come and go during the night, do tend to look towards or take long looks towards my window each time they are within sight of it. It's quite definite that they are looking in at me naked sometime during the nights or early morning.

It's not unexpected that I am being seen naked by nearby people, since the requirement to be and remain exposed every night for the entire night surely came with the intent that I actually be seen naked. It's always been inevitable that I would be and will be seen naked.

In the few months that I've been required to sleep naked and exposed it''s been clear that I was seen a few times. Knowing I am being seen and can be seen at any moment will occasionally leave me feeling anxious once I'm in bed and exposed.

Some recent advice I received mentioned that I might become less anxious about being seen naked in bed by being exposed naked through the window to a greater degree than I am while in bed. It made sense to me that might actually help to do that. 

I decided to do it not long after dawn on a morning when I also had access to a camera that could record it. Not only did I want to see how exposed I appeared, but it also seemed like it could be proof that I was obeying the requirement to be exposed while in bed. I didn't expect anything else to come from having a video of it.

So after a Saturday night of being exposed naked in bed until Sunday morning, I decided on that morning that I would try being exposed much more than I had been all night. It began within minutes of me waking up and before I was even fully awake yet.

The video of it is included and can be watched now or after further reading for more context. It took a while to get it compressed from it's original 1.5 Gigabyte size down to less than 100 Megabytes for posting/sharing purposes without losing much quality. Whenever it's viewed, watch closely on the left side of the view out of the window. The elapsed time during the video for when to watch for something is roughly at 2:42 and again at 13:35. It's not difficult to notice but it's best to watch it expanded on full screen mode. If full screen doesn't function then the video can be downloaded and full screen mode should function for the downloaded version.

Photos were clipped from the video that show three things. One shows me turned to show the camera what anyone outside would see.

The next ones show me being seen the first time at 2;40 into the video, followed by an enlargement of where the viewer stood while they looked at my exposed ass.

The last two show me being seen the second time at 13: 35 into the video, followed by another enlargement of where the viewer stood. This time I was looked at for much longer than the first time.

 

Once I turned on the camera, I climbed onto the bed, and did some difficult to make out commentary as I knelt on the bed, lowered my upper body, and raised my bare ass towards the uncovered window. With my raised ass presented to the neighborhood, I mostly just stayed in place without looking back too much or too often to see if I was being seen.

I thought it would be better not to know for sure at the time of I was being seen, so that I wouldn't have an urge to stop being exposed and presented naked in such a revealing way. At one point I did turn to show the camera the view of my ass that was being displayed towards the outside before I resumed my display.

In the video I acknowledge that I know I deserve this exposure, and even how I wouldn't know if I had been seen unless I saw it happen on the video later. I mention about how by then it would already have happened and nothing could be done about it. I mention a few things about which nearby people might be most likely to see me being displayed as I was.

Much later when I did finally watch the video, I was surprised to see in the background outside of the window, that someone appeared while walking. They then appear to notice me with my bare raised ass on display, and stop to look at me for a moment. They then move off towards the right and go out of sight. I was entirely oblivious at the time of the fact that I was being seen. Ironically at almost that very moment I was saying something about not knowing if I would be or was being seen. This viewing of me occurred even before I turned to show the camera a view of how I was being displayed through the window.

Since I had no idea that I had already been seen in such an exposed and humiliating position, I remained exposed for many more minutes.

After finding out that I had been seen after all, I watched more of the video. As it the ending came nearer, I was sure that nothing else of interest would happen. Just when I was considering stopping the video before the end, movement outside on the left side of the window became visible. 

A person walks into view, walks to where their view of me is in direct sight of them, and stops walking. They stand there looking at my exposed ass for much longer than I'd been looked at the first time. It can't be seen for sure if it's the same person twice or a different person seeing me the second time. There's no sign of the first person returning from right to left after seeing me the first time, but it's possible they did return without it being seen on the video.

Either way, whoever looked at me the second time made sure they got a good. long look at me. I tried to see if I could tell if they took any photos of me, but the resolution isn't high enough. The sun was still rising then too, and the brightness outside always becomes too much for the view outside to be seen on a camera. Even the eleven or so minutes between views of me, there was a big change in brightness. The second viewer can easily be seen, but is much more difficult to see who it might be. 

So I was either seen humiliatingly exposed by two people eleven minutes apart, or by one person who got a good look the first time, but a much better, longer look the second time.

Being seen so definitely and in such a revealing and humiliating position does make me consider hesitating to continue such exposures. But I know I need to become more accustomed to being seen naked in such ways by random others. I want to get to where it gets easier to just accept that I will be or am being seen naked during nights, and to accept or learn to dismiss any humiliation that results from it. 

I know there will be times when the area outside has lots of activity at night, and I hope to be able to accept that exposure. I also know that there will be nights spent in some hotel or motel where the requirement to sleep exposed naked still applies. In the rooms in those places I will still have to be completely naked in bed, the lights will still have to remain on all night, all but the fitted sheet over the mattress must be removed out of reach and sight, and any drapes, curtains, or blinds must be open far enough to enable my exposure and viewing. 

During nights in those places I will absolutely be seen or watched naked just due to the amount of other people there and because of they will be coming and going often. In those places, foot traffic will occur right outside and people will be free to stand directly on the other side of the window glass and just look at me. Somehow I have to be able to accept that without moving away, trying to cover up, or becoming too anxious about it.

I know I'm not there yet, since I'm still in near-disbelief that I was seen two times within a short time, and that the viewer actually stood still for as long as they did to get a good look at my exposed ass. There's no doubt that whoever looked at me is going to keep looking any time my window is in their view, so I do need to accept being seen by them often.

It should be said that I don't think they looked at my raised ass because they liked seeing it. I think they were too amazed at what they were seeing that they couldn't help but look. They may have also been curious about why I was on display naked like I was at the time. It's possible that they enjoyed what they saw, or possible that they thought it was erotic in some way, but I do doubt that. The reason why anyone looks at me naked doesn't have any influence on the requirement for me to be exposed naked every night. 

I suppose that the only way to know if a viewer does enjoy what they're viewing of me is if they return often for another view and spend more time taking a good look. Whether or not they do, I am and always will be required to be there exposed naked.  

At least now there is some video proof of me actually being seen naked other than online.

Exposure update

 It's been eight days since the last update, so another update is about due.

The most noteworthy subject is probably that the three week point has been passed since I was last able to masturbate. 

https://forms.gle/cx6YQK5zF6fuNk3n8  

For a short time I believed some point had been passed where being repeatedly aroused at random times of the day and night has eased some, since even erections occurred a bit less often.

I don't know why there was some reprieve for me for a few days, just as I don't know why I've once again begun to be aroused without an apparent reason or get erections at random times.

The short reprieve seems to have caused me to lower my guard a bit. 

I was recently driving n a multi lane highway with lots of traffic lights and turning lanes, and doing it early in the morning when lots of other traffic was present. 

I had a partial erection for some of the drive, but it soon became a full erection that was clearly outlined in my pants. Since I don't wear underwear, the erection extended several inches down the inner part of my left leg. As I drove along there was traffic in all three lanes that remained built up at a traffic signal even after the light had turned green. I ended up sitting still quite a bit. 

I first began rubbing my pants over top of my erection in an absent minded way, but because it felt so good I became aware of doing it. I was so aroused though, and because I saw no vehicles near me that were tall enough for anyone to see between my legs, I kept rubbing slowly and carefully. I wanted the feeling but I knew that climaxing was still not permitted no matter how much I might want it.

I pulled into a lane on the left and waited for the signal ahead to change to allow crossing of the three oncoming lanes of traffic. While I sat there, the three lanes of traffic on my right kept going through a green traffic signal. 

I was so caught up in my rubbing that I never paid attention to how the traffic on my right had stopped due to the signal in front of them turning red. 

I was suddenly aware of a high, white pickup truck just beside me, and I saw a guy behind the wheel watching me rub the raised area of fabric covering my erection, The truck windows had a tint to them, so seeing beyond the driver was difficult. I did think I saw another person in the passenger seat trying to lean over to look my way. There was definitely someone else moving around over there, but the tint on the glass made it hard to tell what they were doing or looking at.

I stopped my rubbing, and a second or so later the guy looked right at me with just a trace of a smirk on his face. I knew that he knew what I'd been doing, and he knew that I knew I'd bee seen by him doing it. Fortunately for me the signal for turning changed to green and I was able to make my turn. I knew I had to be more careful and to restrain my urges and impulses while in public.

I did begin to rub my erection a couple more times after that, but as soon as I realized I was doing it I forced myself to stop.

Sometimes in private I will let myself rub for a while, since it feels good. It's just a tease though, and the price for that is to be fully stimulated and close to a climax, but having to stop without any release or relief.

Even before I got out of bed that morning, I had been drifting in and out of sleep for a while before, and I was aware that I was maintaining a full erection. At the time it was still mostly dark out and soon began to get s bit light outside. I recall looking towards the uncovered window during one of these moments and noticed that some cars were moving about with their headlights on. I knew this meant that people were heading to their cars and going to wherever they needed to go, and that they might be seeing me or looking my way as they did this.

I knew there was nothing preventing them from seeing me naked, and I was still too groggy and half asleep to want to give it much thought. I did wish my erection would go away so that they wouldn't see me naked and with a full erection, but the erection was unrelenting. I knew turning onto my front would be unbearable and way too stimulating, so all there was to do is lie there naked, illuminated, and with a full erection. By reminding myself that there was no point in thinking about any of that right now, I managed to doze off again for a while.

I don't think there's any way to actually get used to being completely exposed naked to the view of anyone nearby who has even the slightest desire to look. The most that seems possible is to adjust as much as possible to it. This involves repeatedly reminding myself that not one single thing is private for me while in bed. I still try to deceive myself at times by telling myself that no one is seeing me or looking, but I know that's not really possible or realistic. 

I don't know it, but I feel that by now after more than sixty nights and well over 400 hours of being exposed, that some of those nearby have come to expect to see me exposed during the night whenever they happen to look my way. I don't believe that any of them would react to it if I wasn't exposed when they expected me to be, other than wondering why I wasn't exposed, but I do believe that it would be noticed by some. Those seeing me for their first time would still probably just look without any real expectations.

My nightly erections and my humping of the bed still continue unabated, and if anything they occur more than ever. A dozen or so times per week I awaken during the night to find myself on my front and humping the bed with an erection. The only option then is to roll over to try to limit the stimulation of my erection, which then exposes my erection to additional possible view. Much or even all of this must be due to having not masturbated or climaxed for more then three weeks and counting.

It does appear that my arousal and erections will continue well into the foreseeable future, since the results of the questionnaire remain largely unchanged. 

https://forms.gle/cx6YQK5zF6fuNk3n8 

A few times I wanted to climax so much that I would momentarily consider just masturbating even without permission to do it, but each time I have to dismiss that thought. I know that explaining why I did it or worse, lying about it would never be successful over the long term. I have no doubt at all that at some point it would be discovered due to an inconsistency by me or for some other reason. 

With the current results by far deciding that I cannot masturbate, I simply have to accept that there is no masturbating unless or until the results and the majority decision changes.

A graph of the current questionnaire results:

 

Nightly Exposure in bed

 To show that my required nightly exposure while in bed is occurring and ongoing, some recent photos are now available. Due to the current results of decisions in the open questionnaire at: https://forms.gle/cx6YQK5zF6fuNk3n8 there has been no masturbation by me for 15 days. 

This has made erections more common, unpredictable, and caused them to last much longer than they otherwise would. Erections occur while awake and also during sleep at a time while my exposure is occurring each night in bed through a window. 

With the night time temperatures being quite low recently, the window has had to remain closed but still largely uncovered as the photos show. The blind is fixed in place and cannot be closed without the removal of plastic ties that hold it in place. 

The light level in the room is the same each night and no sheets or any other covering is present or within reach. 

A series of timed photos show me in bed naked and show the uncovered window beyond. At night the light in the room causes a reflection in the glass, which from my position on the bed mostly appears as my own naked reflection. The photos don't appear to show this reflection of me, but it causes me to be able to see little or nothing of the outside at night, or to know whether anyone might be seeing me or not. 

In order to sleep I can only lie there exposed whether I'm being seen at the moment or not. There have only been a few times while I was awake when it was clear that others were looking in at me and seeing me. While asleep it's unknown if or when I am being seen or observed in bed. 

The photos might appear much the same, but they can also be seen in gif image that shows the small differences in them. 

 

                          

 

 

The photos and the gif show how I spent every night, all night long. Photos of the view outside the window during day time are included here again to show the potential for my nightly exposure to be seen.

 

It has also been pointed out to me a few times where my exposure was lacking or insufficient in some way where it was deemed not be presented or so easily accessible by others. If and when these things are pointed out to me, they will be addressed if at all possible. In situations like that I can only apologize for any failure to be exposed as others deem that I should be. 
                 

Erotic fantasies and dreams since not masturbating

 It's not hard to understand why not masturbating for two entire weeks now would lead to very common erections and a heightened level of overall arousal. Something like that was expected, even if it's turning out to be more than expected. 

What wasn't really expected is how during the day I'm fantasizing a whole lot more often than I did before not being able to masturbate. Of course this only leads to even more erections occurring and it seems like a kind of feedback loop. 

I'm aroused and horny, so I get erections, which only increase my arousal, which leads to more erections. 

One of the more common fantasies that have begun to occur is if I see a person in public that is at least somewhat attractive looking to me. I then imagine if all of their clothing just vanished right then and there and what that might look like. I start to imagine how they might react or what they might try to do to avoid being seen naked more than they already had been by everyone around them. It doesn't take long before I have a full erection. 

The dreams at night tend to different than that and generally involve me being in some unusual situation.

One in particular keeps happening that seems to have a good bit of detail. This surprised me since it is something that has never occurred and something I've never seen happen. How I got to be the way I am in the dream is never clear, but each time it occurs it seems like it's the first time rather than a rerun or repeated dream.

It begins with me being naked along a long paved pathway with a long chain link fence running parallel to it's length. I'm facing the fence and right up against it. Behind me and on the other side of the path is a wide grassy area with some thick woods beyond. In front on the other side of the fence is a huge open, grassy field with the grass cut low, and with a single mid sized tree not far from the fence. 

I realize that as hard as I try, I cannot move away from the fence. I push away with my hands and lean back, but I feel my penis stretching and even tingling a little. It's then that I notice a thin, strong string tied very tightly around the head of me penis. The string goes through one of the small openings in the fence directly in front of where my penis is. My penis is stretched out to its limit through the opening in the fence. The other end of the string is tied tightly around the tree that's just beyond the other side of the fence. It's keeping me from being able to pull my penis out of the opening and keeping me from moving away from the fence.

I try to reach my penis with my hands, but the opening in the fence is too small. I can't get my fingers more than part way through any of the openings and cannot even come close to reaching the string that's tied around the head of my penis. I realize I am trapped right there just as I am. 

I'm vaguely aware that one or more others are nearby laughing at me and mocking my predicament, but I never see them and only hear them. The last thing I hear from them is "Goodbye", and they apparently leave. 

In the dream I become frantic to get free before people come along and see me, and I begin trying to bend or force one of the openings in the fence to become large enough for my hand to get through, but I can't get the opening to get any larger. 

I pull back as hard as I can, which for some reason makes my penis get fully hard and feel tingly in a pleasing way, but the string is too tight to enable my penis to be withdrawn at all. The string is already too tight. 

As I realize that I am going to have to just stay there and wait until others come along, I start to moan in a sort of resignation of my soon to occur humiliation. My penis remains erect though, and the tingling feeling in it even increases.

        Similar to the fence in the dream, but with a walking path behind instead of a roadway.

It's during this time in the dream that I wake up in bed naked, always with an erection and with an almost sure sense that I'd been either humping the bed or just thrusting upwards if lying on my back. 

Once realizing it was just another dream I feel some relief that it wasn't happening for real, and with a curiosity about why such a helpless and humiliating situation leaves me feeling so aroused. I also wonder why the dream always ends at about the same point. 

Some other dreams are more vague and less detailed, but most often involve me being in some crowded place naked, but without anyone seeming to notice yet. Somehow I always know that if I move even a little bit, everyone will notice, and that they will notice anyway within some short amount of time.

I sit there, or stand if that's how the dream goes, contemplating what I should do. I can never decide whether it;s better to stay still until I'm noticed, or if I should move or stand up. I seem to know that any exit is beyond a large number of people who I'd have to pass through or pass by. The dream always comes to and end before I can seem to make up my mind about what too do.

Between the common erections and arousal, fantasies and unusual dreams, going so long without masturbating or cumming seems to be continuing to have more and greater effects. I can't imagine there being more to come or what might be next.

More common arousal and erections

 Thirteen days without any masturbation or relief from arousal and being in a state of arousal is still occurring more frequently and seems more intense. I'm beginning to doubt that there is ever going to be a point where it just can't become any more intense than it already is. 

During the first several days, becoming aroused and having an erection became much more common than it did when I could still masturbate daily or multiple times per day. Into the second week I thought it may have plateaued and might remain much the same as days passed. After even more days passed, I realized that how often I was aroused and how often I got an erection was still increasing, but just not at such a noticeable rate. Day after day I'm finding that I'm getting even more erections and often at times when I'm not even sure of what triggered it. The erections seem to be lasting longer and are more difficult to get rid of.

At work, the pants I wear are more loose fitting, so an erection may not be too apparent to anyone who might potentially notice. Any other time though, my pants do very little to conceal the long raised shape of an erection in my pants. I've recently discovered that I may have been misjudging just how noticeable an erection in my pants might actually be.

I recently had to go to a large drug store to drop off a prescription for someone, and then wait while it was filled. While standing in line I felt my penis begin to stir and within a minute or so I had an erection. The pharmacy was in a wide alcove area, so I felt somewhat concealed. Most of those in line in front of me mostly faced away from me, although I was aware that on my left there was a line of chairs against one wall where people could sit to wait as their prescriptions were being filled.

Once I dropped off the prescription, I was told that it should be ready in twenty minutes or so. I went over and sat down in one of the chairs along the wall. I still had an erection and I knew it might be visible to those who were now waiting in line. I casually looked down and my erection didn't seem too noticeable. Then I noticed that on the opposite wall, on the other side of those waiting in line, there was a large mirror that had a few small displays on either end of it. 

Nearly in the center of the mirror I saw my own reflection if me sitting in the chair, and the erection in my pants appeared prominently and quite noticeable. I shifted in my seat to see if changing the angle made a difference, but it didn't. Even closing my legs made very little difference, if any.

The more I tried to will or wish the erection away, the more full the erection appeared to be. I finally settled on just waiting for it to subside on its own and figured no one would really notice. 

It seemed to work that way for a minute or so, until I saw a guy go from looking away from me to looking right at me, and I was sure I saw a quick glance between my legs. He then returned to looking away from me. I was a little bit relieved when he did look away until it occurred to me that he was likely just looking at my reflection in the large mirror.

Only a couple minutes later I noticed a husky woman in a tank top and shorts looking my way. She had tattoos on both shoulders and one on her ankle. When I looked right at her, her gaze seemed to suddenly rise from between my legs to my face. When she saw me returning the look she just smiled slightly and began looking around. I was sure she glanced my way again a few more times, but it was too quick for me to know for sure. 

She finally made her way to the service window and a minute or so later the prescription I was waiting for was ready. I left there feeling sure that at least a couple people there knew that I had an erection under my pants. 

It was one of those now more common times when I could almost swear that my penis wants everyone to know and see that it's erect, in spite of how exposed I feel or how humiliating it is for my erection to be noticed in public. If that was true then it's my penis that is getting what it wants. 

There are more and more times while I have an erection that I have to consciously prevent myself from actively thrusting my hips. I usually notice only after one or two thrusts have occurred and then I have to cover it by pretending to stretch or shift positions for how I'm sitting or standing. I don't know if that works to fool anyone, but it's all I have and I have to at least try it.

At night in bed there's no pretending or anything else. Since I'm naked eveything is right out there and anyone who might look in through the window would see literally everything.

If I'm tired enough, I may doze off without getting much of an erection. But for some reason an erection seems to occur shortly afterwards. I'm not sure but I think it's due to that once I begin to fall asleep, my guard is let down and there is nothing preventing my arousal from showing in whatever way it can. Since sleep cannot be avoided, my nightly exposure seems to include an erection more and more. I'm waking up with an erection more often than ever, and they refuse to subside for a longer and longer time. For the most part I just try to ignore them and go back to sleep if I can. 

Not long ago I was at least able to turn onto my stomach and at least temporarily make it not so obvious to anyone who might be seeing me. This still left my bare ass exposed, so it wasn't ideal. Recently though, I can't seem to even fully doze off on my stomach before I find myself humping the bed. My bare ass is not only exposed, but it ends up being thrust upwards and then downwards over and over again, and impossible not to be observed if anyone happened to be looking in through the window at me. 

Just last night I woke up on my stomach, humping the bed non stop. It felt so good that in my half awake state I didn't care to stop it. As I enjoyed the feeling it suddenly all came back to me that I was exposed naked through the window. I opened my eyes and looked towards the window just as my final thrust was occurring. I saw a reflection of my own bare ass rise up in an arch and go down once more. It's nearly certain that this is also occurring while I'm asleep and at times I'm just not waking up to know it or to stop it. 

A newer and more recent development appears to be that I'm now thrusting my hips and my erection upwards even while I'm lying on my back. I've woken up to find myself doing this several times already over the last few nights. It's now one more way that I'm exposed and potentially seen by much of the neighborhood.

Without being able to masturbate, it's seeming more and more inevitable that more and more of the neighborhood around me is going to see all of this eventually. It's very likely that some have already seen it.

Being exposed to view naked in bed comes with it's own degree of humiliation. Being seen by anyone who simply looks towards my window increases that degree. The potential for being seen humping the bed naked, and seen much more often with an erection just seems to ensure a high degree of humiliation. I feel it at the time while exposed, and even more so when seeing or encountering those near me during the day, knowing they may or actually have seen eveything. 

A recent look at the questionnaire results so far shows that there will be no masturbating for me. This practically ensures that others will keep noticing the outline of my erections in my pants during the day, and that most or all of those nearby my window will end up seeing me naked and erect at night, and thrusting my hips naked. There's also an ever increasing risk that I may accidentally or unintentionally climax and cum in the middle of some public place, and end up just having to stand or sit there as it occurs. 

The most unusual and unexpected thing of all for me has to be that things that didn't cause me any arousal before, and things that still shouldn't really cause any arousal for me, are actually leading me to become aroused. Sometimes even highly aroused. 

One example is the questionnaire. A part of me is startled and alarmed that I cannot masturbate for at least what will surely be a long time, if ever. That does entirely depend on whether decisions in the questionnaire allow a change. I can't figure out why it is, but the realization that I cannot masturbate and won't be able to anytime soon causes me to become erect and aroused. I don't quite understand why this happens, since it's as if my mind and my penis aren't in agreement on how to react. It's as if my mind is saying "Oh no!" while my penis is enjoying it. 

https://forms.gle/c5J2e99Sx94kNi3UA 

It's just one more reason why it can seem as though my penis is in charge, is liking every bit of it, and has no desire for anything to change.

Post: January 11th

Update on a few topics:

At the current time it is the the eleventh day of no masturbating. I have not had one single ejaculation or climax since Jan. 1st and it's now into the eleventh day. For brief periods during the day I can feel very little effect from it, but never for more than several minutes. 

Questionnaire for deciding upon David Steckel's masturbation, or lack of it. Majority decision must remain in effect unless or until it changes/

https://forms.gle/c5J2e99Sx94kNi3UA 

Within a short time my penis decides to remind me that it will become hard or erect whenever it wants to. Even trying to think of non-arousing things doesn't always work well or too quickly.

This morning I got an erection while driving, just before I arrived at a convenience store where I needed to stop. I pulled into the lot and I couldn't get my erection to subside. After sitting there for a minute or so I had to get out of the car, since I didn't have much time to spare. There were a few others around, mostly sitting in other cars that all park front-end-in facing the store. The store is along a congested highway with a traffic light right there and cars were sitting there waiting. 

When I stood up, my penis was in a bad spot and felt like it was being bent, so I tried as casually as I could to readjust its position in my pants. I don't know for sure if I was casual enough for anyone not to notice, but I saw no sign of anyone noticing.

Being in front of so many cars and people, I didn't really inspect how I might appear down there and just walked into the store. I grabbed what I needed and stood next in line at the register. On the wall to my left there was a large screen that showed that part of the store on the screen. I saw the cashier, the person in front of me, and myself. On the screen I could see a bulge in the front of my jeans and I immediately had the urge to cover it up. Before I did, I realized how obvious that would be, and that I would also be shown on the screen and would be visible even to those who couldn't see much of my front. I had to just let it go and hope no one else noticed. I assume that no one did notice, only because no one acted like they did.

If I didn't know better I would swear that my penis wants everyone to know it's there, and to see one of its capabilities. 

Any time my mind wanders, I can find my hand reaching between my legs and even rubbing myself there. This happens when I'm alone when I just have to stop myself from doing, but it has happened a few times when others are around or present too. When I realize it then, I have to feign as if I was scratching rather than rubbing. If I'm partly erect by then, I have to try thinking of other things or risk a full erection after I've possibly drawn attention to that area by "scratching" there. 

One pair of my jeans has already begun to develop a small hole just to the left of the zipper, and right in the area where my penis usually sits. The hole is frayed and still covered by strands of blue threads, but now it's only a matter of time before the hole becomes larger and where at least some of my penis will be visible through it. 

I only have three pairs of jeans at the time that aren't torn or very worn out, so unless I do laundry every other day I end up needing this pair of jeans. I also usually fail to notice I put this pair on until I get an erection at some point, which usually only happens after I'm out and away from home. The jeans are still in very good shape other than the hole beside the zipper, so until the hole gets too big it seems a waste to stop wearing them. I don't think I could stand wearing underwear all day since I never do, and I only have a single pair of them in a drawer anyway. I also made a promise to someone a long time ago that I would never wear them for any reason. So for now and until the hole gets too large, I will still be wearing that pair of jeans every third day.

Within the next few wearings and washings, the hole will probably be large enough to reveal some part of my penis, but only if someone really takes a good look there. A few more washing and wearings after that and it's sure to be large enough to reveal a good portion of my penis and probably won't be able to be worn any longer without a risk of my penis actually protruding through the hole itself. 

At night it's bit of a different story, since no clothing is involved or worn then. Each night once I get into bed there's a certain amount of time where I seem to just be adjusting to beginning another night of being exposed through the window. By then much of the activity nearby has subsided a good bit and there's less of a possibility for many people to be out and about. But there are still those who may be walking a dog for a final time for the night, those who just end their days later than most, and those who have some reason to be out or about that isn't usual for them.

When I first get into bed feel quite aware of these things, even if it's for no apparent reason. Within minutes though, I start to settle in for the night. Mostly it's just me once again resigning myself to the fact that whoever is going to see me is just going to see me. 

Not masturbating for many days seems to ensure that my first erection in bed now occurs even as I'm very near to falling asleep. Whenever I'm brought back to being awake by something after being very close to falling asleep entirely, I find that I almost always have an erection already. One more recent development seems to be that one of the things that bring me back to awake is when I begin to thrust my hips upwards, even while I'm lying on my back. It's as if I'm humping nothing but air. I never recall this occurring before and it must be due to not masturbating for many days. 

When it happens and I wake up again, there's always a short period of time where I forget that I'm currently exposed until it reoccurs to me. At that point I'm aware that anyone looking in at me could have just seen the entire event, and nothing can change what may have been seen. 

Until just recently it was mostly when lying on my stomach that the thrusting and humping would occur, which was why I would remain on my back until I fell asleep. Once asleep I would inevitably move or change positions and the thrusting and humping would occur anyway, but while on my back it didn't occur. Now it seems that it does occur no matter what position I am lying in.

I'm left wondering now about how often or how long I might be doing this if I don't wake up due to it. Just last night I awoke to find my self on my back with an erection and thrusting my hips upwards before stopping myself from doing it. A moment later I noticed some lights outside that were bright enough not to be hidden by the glare of the room lights on the glass. When I glanced that way I saw that it was the lights of the vehicle of a nearby neighbor. They appeared to have just parked where they usually do or were about to leave. I couldn't be sure right them which it was, but my window is easily visible from that parking space. 

When the vehicle just sat there with lights on for several minutes, I began to convince myself that no one was inside and that only the lights were left on. Just as I decided I might be right about that, the dome light came on and three unidentifiable people began to exit the vehicle. In the dark I couldn't see them well. I assumed that at least one of them was the owner of the vehicle. I don't know for sure that they had been sitting there watching me, but I knew they could have been. If they were looking in at me then they would certainly have seen me thrusting my hips with an erection. By then though, it would have been done and over with, so once they went inside I did my best to dismiss the whole thing. 

Only later did it occur to me the residence they entered has windows that I would also be observable from. 

At that time I did notice that nearly all parking spaces had a vehicle parked in them. I woke up near dawn to find quite a few vehicles had left during the night, likely just recently as the early risers left for wherever they were going. As if to confirm this, two vehicles spontaneously backed out from opposite sides of the parking area and one followed the other to the exit nearest to me. Both sets of headlights remained aimed in my direction until they reached a point where a turn was necessary.  

I may be vastly underestimating the number of times I may have potentially been seen or am being seen, since I'm so rarely awake during this period of exodus from the parking area. I have to wonder if I was sleeping motionless at those times, which would limit what was seen to just seeing me naked, or if I was performing some action or had an erection. 

At best it seems that I may have been exposed naked to quite a few more others than I assumed. Since I do seem to be becoming more "active" while asleep, I would have had no control over what I might have been doing or how I was exposed during all of this time, and no way to know about most or any of it. 

It seems accurate to say that no plateau or leveling off point had been reached for the increase in my state of arousal. It's increase may have slowed down a bit, but it does seem to still be increasing ever slowly.

NOTE: 

It has recently been mentioned to me that the link to this blog was not as available to friends and people who know me, mainly on Facebook, that it should be. It appears that there are ways of posting the link that I hadn't considered.

A link to the blog is now located in the intro of my Facebook page and has also been added to some recent posts. Posting only the blog link in a post still generates an automatic image that is likely to be flagged, but posting the link in an existing post seems to avoid this issue.

As a way of accounting for this lack of availability of the link to this blog, it will now be included in any future posts to ensure that friends and others who know me have the maximum opportunity possible to see and read this blog.