First I have to mention that on the morning of my 50th day without masturbating, I spontaneously ejaculated a few drops of cum. It happened while I was reviewing a video just taken of what's come to be my morning exposure through the window in my bedroom. As a way to become more accustomed to remaining exposed all night, I've begun to briefly be exposed to a greater degree just after sunrise on most mornings. At that time it's not so dark to make me extremely obvious, and it's light enough to see whether I was seen or not, especially if it's on video. I may not know about being seen at the time, but a review of a video can show whether my morning exposure has been observed by anyone who was outside. Through a recent video I did discover afterwards that I actually had been seen.
As I was reviewing a more recent video that showed no obvious signs of anyone seeing me, I saw how I was being displayed at the time. Not having masturbated for 50 days has me extremely aroused at many times, and as I watched my display, I imagined that it was someone other than me who had to be displayed as I was in the video.
Just the thought of someone else having to be displayed like that even if someone was seeing them caused me to have an erection that was stiffer than many others I get. I was naked at the time, so no clothing was touching my erection. I became so aroused that I thrust my hips a few times, and on the third thrust I felt a climax approaching. As usual when that occurs I froze in place, expecting it to subside as usual. This time it kept coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Apparently I held still just in time to limit it though, since only one single spurt came out before things subsided.
I had not touched my penis and neither had anything else except for air, but I still had a minor ejaculation. Right away I felt wrong and felt like I violated the requirement to never masturbate. But I knew that I hadn't masturbated. It seems that my body is at a point where it insists on ejaculating or "cumming" no matter what I do. So much arouses me or turns me on now compared to when I used to masturbate that there's no way to.completely avoid arousal. Of course I will keep obeying my requirement never to masturbate, but now it appears that occasional ejaculations are inevitable and will occur anywhere at any time whether I want them to or not.
Here is the video I was reviewing when the minor ejaculation occurred:
Just a quick review for context. I sleep naked each night with multiple lights on, without coverings, and with the window blind raised. A portion of the neighborhood has the ability to see me, which more and more people seem to be making use of. I can be observed from multiple residences through their windows from inside, so I can be observed by some people in private.
With some new and brighter bulbs in some lights in my bedroom, I am much more illuminated naked all night than I was with the older light bulbs. Even after months of sleeping exposed naked I still feel some anxiety at times about being on perpetual display naked. The brighter lights only added to my anxiety. It's not exactly anxiety though. It's more of a sense of heightened awareness that can make it difficult to sleep.
I'm fine with a single light on with a dim bulb, but of course I'm barely exposed by that and may not be exposed at all. I know that unless the light level is sufficient for me to be visible, I'm not following the requirement for being exposed while in bed at night.
The morning exposure sessions will hopefully make being exposed and seen during the night seem more minor and allow me to sleep better even while I'm exposed, easily visible, and seen. With more and more nearby others seemingly becoming more interested in seeing me and paying a lot of attention to my bedroom window, I need some way that helps me to remain more passive about this and accepting of it.
My exposure each night is required and has to occur, and I realize that being seen is also inevitable. It's more often now me being watched rather than just seen, since more people are now aware that I'm always there naked to look at, and they are taking their time to see as much as they can. I suppose they are just taking advantage of the fact that I'm there to be seen, which I suppose is an inevitable result of my exposure to them.
I never thought this far ahead or expected to become an ongoing source of entertainment for so many nearby others, but that does seem to be what is occurring. I can only guess or assume that those who decided I would be required to be exposed every night expected or knew this would occur, and they wanted to be sure I did get the exposure that I deserved.
The morning exposures and the videos do seem to be working to help me be more accepting of my nightly exposure, although this is still a new and recent thing and may take more time to have more of an effect.
I have to admit that some other advice I received does seem to help very much during my times of being exposed and seen. When I remind myself and repeat "I deserve this" or "This is what I deserve" while I'm being exposed or seen naked, it's much easier to accept. It at least gives me something to focus on at the time, and I have nothing that says or shows that it isn't completely true and accurate.
Also, some photos were clipped from the video where I was seen exposed and with my ass raised towards the window. They will also be included in the previous post about them.
https://davidsteckelnakedandexposed.blogspot.com/2023/02/seen-very-exposed-through-window.html
First is a photo of me while I was turned around towards the camera to show what could be seen of me through the window by anyone outside.
Next is a photo of me being seen for the first time, followed by an enlargement of a small area where the viewer was located.
The next photo shows the second time I was seen, about eleven minutes later. It's followed by an enlargement of the are where the viewer stood. They can be seen better this time, and they stood there looking for longer than when I was seen the first time.
I didn't know I was seen the second time either until it was seen in the video. Whoever they are, they saw me with my ass exposed and raised.
Good exposure that you need to keep up and to be seen more. You might think that you didn't cause yourself to cum, but some might say you did by watching your video. You can't do anything at all that causes you to cum unless something has changed. If it has, you need to tell about it and why it's changed.
ReplyDeleteIt could probably be considered that I did cause myself to cum, but I'm actually just required to never cum by masturbating. The list of ways I'm only allowed to cum from doesn't really mention about looking at something that turns me on so much that I cum, but I suppose I should avoid that just to make sure I keep obeying the requirement for never masturbating.
DeleteI did stop everything in time so that only a a small amount came out, so it wasn't very much of an ejaculation.
I will try to avoid cumming unless it happens without me having done anything to cause it or that might be considered to be something that caused it.
How come the blind is never open more. Is that as far up as it goes or can it go higher? If it does, do you decide how far open it is or does someone else?
ReplyDeleteThe blind does open more. Once I had to start being exposed all night the blind had to be tied open since for some reason it won't stay open by itself. It was tied open where I thought it would be enough.
DeleteNo one else really decides how far it's open, but early on someone did ask why it wasn't open more. I admit that I was trying not to make the uncovered window too from outside at night when the room is all lit up.
After it was asked about being open more, the blind was raised a little bit more. I suppose since nothing more was ever asked or said about it, then it stayed as it was after that.
If it's open too far then I'd feel like I was literally asking people to look in at me naked, but it will be opened a little bit more. That will leave it halfway open.
In photos it never looks open as far as it does when I'm in bed.
I hope halfway open is far enough, since it takes some time to untie the blind, raise it, and tie it in place again. If I can be I'd also prefer for the window not to automatically call attention to it. There's no other windows on what's an otherwise dark wall when seen from outside, and a brightly lit window with a wide open blind would be impossible not to see.
It's already pretty hard not to notice from outside at night, and it's likely that a lot more people have already seen me naked in bed than I suspect.
Rightly any lights should be bright enough and the blind should stay open enough that it does call attention to your exposure. That's basically the definition of being exposed. The entire purpose for being exposed is ultimately to be seen, and to be seen unconditionally.
DeleteFor there to be a blind on the window at all or for it to be less than all the way open is already a major concession that you should be grateful to have and really should not have. If it was someone else who was making decisions about it, there would probably not be a blind and a very bright light would remain directly on you at all times to ensure your rightful exposure.
Except for the blind being there and covering the top part of the window, it's pretty much as described. There are two lamps with one hundred watt bulbs on either end of the room, and a ceiling light with three light bulbs in it right above the bed. At night all of those are always on. It's so bright in the room that anything beyond the window can hardly be seen except for a few streetlights, the outside lights of some houses, and lights on vehicles. I wouldn't see a person unless they were carrying a light, but they would be able to see me pretty clearly. From a long distance away anyone looking towards my window has a direct view of my bed which would include more than fifty people not counting visitors or anyone just passing through. During the seven to eight hours I'm in bed every night I'm able to be seen but I would almost never know about it.
DeleteI'm definitely exposed every night and if that has to include being seen then that's already happening too. I just try to sleep and not think about it too much while it's happening.
If someone else was there to insist that the blind be removed or fully raised I would have to accept that, but I think I'm already being exposed a whole lot every night but without knowing how much I'm being seen.