I didn't plan to do any update on recent posts at least
unless or until something changed or something new happened, but I've
been what I'll call "urged" to offer an update now that it's a new year.
I also didn't want to risk violating my exposure contract again by
saying or doing anything that might seem like I'm trying to avoid,
limit, or interfere with my exposure in some way.
So
first I feel the need to mention that nothing I might say is intended
to do any of those things, especially with regard to anything to do with
my having to be exposed to and seen naked by people who personally know
me.
Since there doesn't seem like there's much to update, the poll seems like as good a place as any to start with.
As
mentioned in an earlier post, the poll has had an update. Now there is
not just a photo of me naked at the top of the page, but also a photo of
me naked for each choice in the poll. Even the two choices for me not
to be exposed to Facebook contacts show me naked, but mostly just show
my bare ass. The choices for me to be exposed temporarily and
permanently both show my face and a mostly frontal view of me naked. I
wasn't told why these particular photos of me were chosen or added, and
I'm not about to ask or question anything about it.
By far the most votes are for the first choice, which says "
Yes. The links need to remain posted permanently. His Facebook contacts must see him naked." (Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/david.steckel.75 )
the link to the Dropbox "David Steckel naked"
and the link to a naked photo of me on Wikimedia
I
need to say here that since it's what most voters want, then that's
still what has to be. I'm in no position to dispute what so many others
have decided in the matter.I also know that the links in my Facebook
information are being monitored by more than one person to make sure
they're there and that they work, so that anyone who knows me on
Facebook and any visitors can see and click the links. I know this is
the punishment decided for me for my violations of my exposure contract,
and I'm trying to do all I can to accept this punishment and all that
might come along with it, which I know includes my humiliation as people
who know me see me naked and even masturbating. To avoid any
uncertainty over anything said here, I'll state clearly that I know for
violating my contract, I've earned and deserve some sort of punishment.
Since so many have decided for this to be my punishment, then I must
deserve this particular punishment.
With that said, each time I read the text in the choice "Yes. The links need to remain posted permanently. His Facebook contacts must see him naked.",
the word that catches my attention the most is "must". Even though I
know the whole intent of my punishment is for me to be seen naked by
people on Facebook who know me, the word "must" reminds me that it is to
be definite and for sure. At times seeing that can make my stomach
tighten a little and my knees feel a little weak, but then I move on and
try not to think about it since there's nothing I can do about it
anyway.
As for who has seen me
naked so far who knows me, I still only know of one person, since they
chose to say so to me. I have no idea at all about how many others who
know me may have already clicked a link there and seen me naked.
In
the past few weeks, I've seen in person six people who know me who are
also contacts on Facebook. Each time I found myself trying to figure out
whether or not they may have seen me naked by looking for some clue or
evidence. Even without any one of them saying anything about it, I was
always left clueless about it. I'm finding it too easy to think I'm
perceiving nothing different most of the time, but then perceiving one
or two things that almost seem link hints that they've seen me naked,
but are not telling me straight out. Clearly I'm going to have to learn
to live with and deal with that sort of thing, since I'll never know who
has or hasn't seen me naked unless they decide to come right out and
tell me. I know even if the links were ever able to be removed (which I
know they can't be and won't be), it wouldn't matter now since there's
been enough time already for people who know me to have clicked the
links and seen me naked.
I
guess another thing to mention is that I still have no idea which
friend of mine has their email address offered in the comments section
of the Google photo album.
Since
I'm still blocked from the album, I can only assume that their email
address is still offered there since I haven't had any information
saying otherwise. I also have no idea whether anyone has sent this
friend the album link yet, or if this friend has seen me naked. Not
knowing who it might be makes it too hard to guess whether they might
mention it to me or not.
I'll admit that I'm
extremely curious about who they are, but I'm aware that I have no right
or need to know. I've realized that I don't know the email address of
most people who know me on Facebook, since Facebook is the way I tend to
communicate with those who are contacts of mine on there. All I know
from a screenshot image is that they have a gmail address, but that
doesn't tell me anything.
The fact that I'm
curious is the extent of things though, since I know whoever this friend
is may already have seen me naked and are keeping it to their self.
Even if they haven't received the Google photo album link yet, I know
they will receive it somehow at some point. I know there's no avoiding
them seeing me naked unless they choose not to click the album link once
they receive it in an email, if they haven't received it already. I
could try to convince myself that it's not really an email address of
someone who knows me, but I doubt I'd ever really get myself to believe
that it would be offered of it wasn't really someone who knows me.
I've
been told that I tend to make it sound like it's my punishment to have
the links posted on Facebook where people who know me might click them
and see me naked. I've seen this for myself when I read some posts. So
no one is misled, the links are just the way for my actual punishment to
happen. As I've been often reminded, my actual punishment requires that
I be seen naked for sure by people who know me on Facebook, and by
anyone else they choose to tell who might also know me.
Even
though I'm never sure anymore whether anyone I know and meet has seen
me naked, I'm aware that I have to be seen naked by people who know me. I
know better now than to ask for more details or information about that,
so the most I can do is to accept that fact.
It's
still kind of ironic to me that I spent so much time and effort in the
past to keep my naked exposure separate from Facebook and from the
people who know me personally and who see me in daily life, and now
having it available and practically offered to those same people. I can
only assume that's the very reason why it ended up being decided as my
punishment, and is being carried out even at this very moment.
Lastly, the five photos of me naked now included in the poll are:
Header photo
Option #1 photo
"Yes. The links need to remain posted permanently. His Facebook contacts must see him naked"
"Yes. The links should remain for now, but only for some period of time"
"No. David Steckel deserves to have his exposure kept secret from contacts on Facebook"
"No. His Facebook contacts should have to seek or find his exposure by chance on other websites"
