The questionnaire at https://forms.gle/rfLKisCWHbUyha1f6 is currently tied three ways. One decision says I cannot masturbate at all. I can only cum if it happens due to my habit of humping the bed during sleep, mostly when I'm in a heightened state of arousal due to not masturbating. Or I can cum by having a wet dream, which is less likely to happen.
Another decision says I can masturbate in bed while exposed only once per week, and on the same night every week.
The third decision says I have to abstain from masturbating for a week, but continue to masturbating in bed while exposed each night afterwards.
Since all three involve no masturbating for at least a week, I can't masturbate for at least that long. If the tie vote is broken, the decision with the most votes will decide things after the week is up.
The first day of not masturbating isn't too difficult. The night can be a bit more difficult, especially if I become aroused.
The second day I can find myself aroused for very little reason, and the need to masturbate gets stronger. By the second night I'm more easily aroused than I was during the day, and avoiding masturbating becomes more difficult.Not thinking about it only works for a brief time.
By that time I'm a little more likely to end up humping the bed during sleep, but I haven't awakened as much to find that I'm doing it after two days of not masturbating.
On the third day I really feel a need to masturbate, and I have to distract myself with other things to avoid being almost endlessly aroused. By the third night my need to masturbate is near desperate. Erections can occur more often. Even during sleep. I only know of the times when I woke up with an erection, It could be that it happens more but without me waking up to know about it.
The same is true for humping the bed, which becomes more likely during the third night. I might wake up once or twice to find myself stomach-down and humping the bed.
By the fourth day it's harder to keep myself distracted from being aroused, and it's almost a sure thing that I will get an erection a few times during the night. Humping the bed becomes almost as sure by then.
By the fifth day and night, it's about as bad as it's going to get. Unless some other influence is having an effect on me, like some sort of stress or something making me anxious or nervous, I will get an erection at random moment. Once I fall asleep an erection is even more likely and can happen more often.
By then I will wake up humping the bed more than once per night, I can only guess about when it doesn't wake me up. I don't know how long it would go on if doesn't wake me up.
I already don't know how much I might end up being seen naked through the window at night. After a few days of not masturbating, anyone looking at the right time will almost definitely see me having an erection. While I'm asleep I wouldn't know it and there's no way to really hide it anyway.
At the right time, or times, they will also see me humping the bed naked. By the time I wake up doing it, I never know how long I was doing it, or how much my bare ass was going up and down. I have no idea how involved I might get in it if I don't wake up from it.
Whenever I do wake up doing it, even if no one is seeing it, it's still a little humiliating. After days of not masturbating I'm sure to end up doing it right while I'm exposed to anyone through the window, If anyone was looking or watching, they would have already seen me doing it by the time I did wake up. Even if I stop they will already have seen me.
Doing that and not masturbating afterward makes it even more likely that I will do it again pretty soon. I suppose I'm unconsciously seeking relief in some way.
If it turns out that I can masturbate again after a week, there will still be at least three nights where I'll have little or no control over what happens while I'm asleep. That means I'll be exposed through the window not only naked, but with an erection and also humping the bed. Nothing I know if except for masturbating can prevent those things from occurring. If I can't masturbate, they will occur for absolute certainty by some point in time while I am asleep. If anyone is looking at those times, they will see all of it, and I'm likely not to know it.
On a related topic, it was asked whether the blind could be raised more. It can be and has been raised a few more inches. Photos of the blind and the window make the blind appear to not be open much, but from my point of view on the bed, it appears open wider than the photos show it.
Here are some photos of the blind as it is now and during the day.
UPDATE 1: After one day and one night without masturbating.
UPDATE 2: After two days and nights of not masturbating.
On my second day of not masturbating, I woke up with an erection. I'd been asleep for a few hours straight by then, and I have no idea how much of that time I spent with and erection. I also don't know what I did while asleep or if anyone saw me. It was really hard for me to ignore my strong urge to masturbate, but I knew I wasn't supposed to so I didn't.
I got up and went out and took care of some things during the morning. After that I went to get a much needed and overdue haircut. In the barbers chair while covered up with the sheet they use, I did get an erection for a few minutes. I felt it start without any real reason, but once it started I had to sit there with it until it somehow went away before the sheet was removed.
A while later I started feeling tired and not so good, but I pushed myself along until I got home. By late evening I felt so tired that I went to bed earlier than usual. As I got into bed naked and began my night of being exposed naked to anyone outside, I knew I would fall asleep quickly. I really must have been tired, since I slept for about seven hours without waking up once. I woke up just before it was about to get light out without any idea about whether I was seen or looked at during the night or whether I had any erections or humped my bed during the night. I feel like both of those things may have happened, but without me waking up to know about it.
As I start my third day of not masturbating, I still don't feel all that well and plan to stay home for the day. At some point I'll probably lie down in bed for a while. Of course I know that even during daytime that still means I have to be naked and exposed to anyone outside, but if I want to lie down I have to accept being exposed. I may not be as visible to anyone looking in as I am during the night, but I know it's still possible for me to be seen. There are also a lot more people out and about during the day, but I doubt that I will be able to put off lying down for too long.
NEAR THE END OF THE THIRD DAY:
No update was planned for now, but I need to vent and try to distract myself.
Right now I'm not even going to say that I'm aroused. I'm outright horny. I keep getting one erection after another with no way to relieve them. I even keep thrusting my hips forward as if I'm trying to hump the air. Knowing I can't masturbate and being so horny with a hard-on has even made be whine a little bit a few times out of desperation. I sure didn't expect anything like this after just a few days. It's still a few hours until I'll go to bed, but if I stay as horny as I am then I can only imagine how my night in bed naked will be. I'm afraid I'll have a hard-on all night and end up humping my bed way too much.
Since I know anyone could be watching me through my window, I'm going to try not to put on much of a show for them to see. I won't be able to do anything about them seeing me with an endless hard-on, but at least while I'm awake I have control to not hump my bed. I know once I fall asleep though, it's out of my control. I'm not much looking forward to what tonight will be like while I'm exposed naked all night. I guess I'll know by morning though, which will then be related here. I'm sure I'll need to vent and occupy myself again by then.
AFTER THIRD NIGHT OF NO MASTURBATING:
My third night without masturbating was torture. I did get an erection soon after getting into bed. I knew I wasn't supposed to hide it from anyone who might be looking in at me through the window, so by trying as hard as I could I was able to leave it alone without even touching it. Just as I was falling asleep though, I made the mistake of turning onto my stomach. The contact of me dick with the bed was exasperating. It felt way, way too good. I didn't actually start humping my bed, but even though I knew I might be being seen, I couldn't help slightly rubbing my dick on the bed. I tried not to move my hips any more than necessary, but I knew to anyone looking it would look a lot like I was humping. I faced away from the window so I wouldn't keep being reminded that I was entirely exposed while I did it.
I still don't know how I managed to fall asleep, but somehow I did while lying on my stomach. I slept for four hours straight and woke up with a partial erection. I was also lying on my side with my knees drawn up and with my bare ass facing the window. I don't know what those four hours might have exposed me doing. I just know that I had at least two nonsensical dreams during that time.
One was that my car got stuck in some mud along a residential street and for some reason i was naked. In the dream I had to walk naked and alone to some house that was way off in the distance but visible. It was also day time in my dream. When I got to the house, some people I didn't know were angry at me for failing to bring some item along from my car. They made me walk back to it to retrieve the item. I don;t even know what item it was.
Once I got there my car was somehow no longer stuck, and as the dream ended I was beginning to drive it back to the house. Strangely, the many people who I passed by or who saw me in the dream acted as if I was either not naked, or like they didn't care a bit about it.
I don't recall much about the other dream except that it was unsettling and that in the dream I suspected that it was only a dream.
After waking up after the dreams, I sat up for about twenty minutes before returning to bed. I laid there with erections coming and going for a good while, wanting to masturbate very much. Fortunately I fell asleep again and slept for three and a half more hours until my alarm went off just after dawn. I had "morning wood" and had to pee pretty bad, so I had to get out of bed soon after I shut off the alarm.
My fourth day of not masturbating started as day with some driving around needing to be done. While driving, the contact of my jeans on my dick caused a few erections. Not wearing underwear means my dick does just about whatever it wants to, and at a couple of red traffic lights I was in the middle of three lanes. Each time higher vehicle was stopped beside me, especially on my passenger side, I hoped the erection in my pants wasn't visible enough for anyone beside me to notice it.
I actually thought about taking it out of my jeans to avoid the contact, but I knew anyone stopped beside me or passing me might see it. My car also sits quite low down, which means any SUV, Pick Up truck, or large truck passengers or drivers can see down into my car pretty easily. I doubt things will be much different for the rest of the day.
AFTER A FOURTH NIGHT OF NO MASTURBATING
My fourth day of not masturbating went a little better than it began. Erections would occur, and when alone I would unconsciously reach for or rub my erection, only to quickly realize what I was doing. I didn't want to stop, but with some effort I managed to keep restraining myself.
Once going to bed at night, things went surprisingly easy. As I dozed off I was aware that I had just a partial erection and did my best to ignore it.
I woke up at around 2 am to find that I was on my stomach and my right leg had extended partially off the edge of the bed, which is probably what woke me up. That's an uncommon occurrence for me, so it makes me wonder why it happened now. I can only assume that I might be humping the bed more often or more intensely during sleep, and somehow I did that enough or for a long enough time for my leg to get to past the edge of the bed.
I prefer to think that no one was seeing me through the window at the time, but I don't know if that's true. If anyone did see me, I can't even begin to imagine what they might have seen of me.
I got out of bed briefly after that, but I was still so tired that within minutes I had to return to bed. I apparently fell asleep again quickly, since I don't recall lying there for very long. I have no recollection about anything after that until I woke up at dawn, which seems to be around the time I almost automatically wake up each morning. I did have a full erection when I woke that refused to go away though. It was bouncing around as I got out of bed. As I commonly do in the morning, I had to pee quite badly. By the time I made it into the bathroom, my erection had barely relented, and I had to lean forward quite a bit to be able to pee.
Still early into my fifth day of not masturbating, things seem to be going alright so far. My penis feels as if it's been rubbed quite a bit, which I can only assume was due to me excessively humping the bed during the past night. I must really be going at it while I'm asleep.
I've also noticed that the neighbor with the nearest window that I can be seen from during the night has started to open the slats on her Venetian blind after dark each night, and then closes the slats after daylight. The window can be seen on the right side of the first photo included in the main post above. It may be a coincidence, but it may be that she is in there in the dark room at night watching me in bed naked, or even watching me as I do whatever I'm doing while I'm asleep.
There seems to be no way to know for sure, and even if I could know, it doesn't change a thing. There's no stopping her or anyone else from looking.
EVENING OF FIFTH DAY:
Not much new or different occurred throughout the day. There were the erections that would come and go, even for no apparent reason.
One thing that's definitely new and hasn't happened to be for a very long time was I nearly came (or cummed) without the slightest erection and while I was "soft".
I was carrying a mid sized trash bag on one hand, and held a box a little bigger than a shoe box in the other hand. The cardboard box was small but a bit heavy, so I held it against my stomach. I was naked at the time.
I was heading through two rooms to place everything near the door so I could later take it out and put it in the trash.
As I was carrying the slightly heavy box, it started to slip down along my stomach as I walked. It wasn't too far to walk so I figured I'd get there before dropping the box. The box finally slipped down and made contact with my penis.
Right away it felt good. Very good. I only took a few more steps when I suddenly realized I was just one more step away from cumming. I froze in place and I wasn't sure if I'd already passed the point of no return. Apparently I'd just missed that point and the feeling slowly subsided. I could barely believe what had just happened, I was soft but I had no doubt that I was as close to cumming as I could get without it actually happening.
A while afterward, I wondered why I had frozen in place rather than just letting it happen. I know it had to be because I knew it was a form or method of masturbating even if I didn't have that exact thought at the time. I knew it would be wrong if I came from any form of masturbation that I was aware of happening. I knew I still had at least two more days to go before anything like that might be able to happen, and even longer of the tie vote in the poll isn't broken by then, or if another decision is for abstaining from it.
I don't think a wet dream is too possible even if I can't say it wouldn't happen. I do think it's starting to be possible for me to cum in my sleep while humping the bed. I can't really imagine that happening, but I could barely imagine almost cumming with a soft penis either until it happened. I know it would feel good, probably like the wet dream I did once have. That time it occurred after being where there was no chance for days of being able to masturbate unnoticed. I recall waking up, feeling an amazingly good feeling, and being confused about how waking up could possibly feel that good, until I realized...
If I do somehow cum in my sleep, I will admit it and hope that it'll be believed that I didn't just intentionally masturbate while knowing I can't.
MORNING OF SIXTH DAY - NO MORE MASTURBATING FOR ME!
I woke up this morning after a night of exposure and I just expected another day of nearly constant arousal and getting erections repeatedly. I did a few things before I got around to checking on the most recent poll results at: https://forms.gle/rfLKisCWHbUyha1f6
I checked the poll last evening and I saw a tie still existed, so I expected to see the decisions still tied like they've been for a few days. At first I thought something had loaded wrong and refreshed the page. Once it reloaded what I saw made me unable to move or think for a few seconds. The tie was not only broken, but one option had been clearly and undeniably decided upon. I am now entirely forbidden from masturbating at all. My week of not masturbating has no end now.
I have to admit that my first thought was "OH NO". I think that because I'm in a nearly perpetual state of arousal by now, I got an instant erection. I didn't want to or mean to get one, especially after realizing that I cannot purposely or willingly masturbate at all any longer. I seem to be so aroused by now that even seeing that I have to remain that way was enough for me to get a stiff erection. I'm definitely in what is uncharted territory for me.
I hate to admit that I had the thought of trying to change or tamper with the results before anyone saw them. I knew right away that was ridiculous since those who made the decisions would obviously know what they decided. There could be no hiding it. I also realized there was no means or mechanism for affecting any results. I knew I was resigned to the decision.
I couldn't think too clearly for a few minutes as I worked to accept my reality. Then I began to realize some of what it would mean.
I will stay in a heightened state of arousal most of the time. It will continue to feel as though my penis is in charge of me and is control, with me feeling at it's mercy but with it having little or no mercy. My inhibitions will surely be and remain at lower levels.
I'm already having unusual and vivid dreams which seem to be a result of not masturbating for so long, maybe combined with having to sleep naked and exposed each night. In the dreams I am almost always naked and always end up being exposed, usually quite publicly.Those seem to often coincide with me ending up awakening in bed to realize I'm in the process of humping the bed and with an erection.
It seems inevitable now that if it hasn't happened already, anyone looking in at me through the window during the night is going to see me either with an erection or see me humping the bed naked. Even both could be seen by the same person or people. When those people see me outside during the day, they will be sure to picture me or recall seeing me that way no matter how many clothes I have on at the time. It's just sure to happen now.
I know at some point in time I am going to end up cumming without intending to. It could happen in bed with a wet dream or from humping the bed while sleeping. I dread the fact that it could also happen anywhere at any time while I'm out somewhere. It could happen at work and with other people around. It could happen in some place like the grocery store or some other store, in the middle of a parking lot, or anywhere else in public.
By not masturbating for so long, it seems it can occur even without me having an erection. Whenever it does happen, it's sure to be an extremely intense climax and orgasm. I've had some very intense ones when I would masturbate after not doing it for tow or three days. The next time is sure to be even more intense. I will try, but I don't see how it wont be pretty obvious what's happening to anyone who might be nearby.
Wherever I am at the time, I will most likely panic to some degree once I realize it's going to happen and can't be stopped. I expect that it will stop me in place wherever I am, and if I haven;t made any sounds by then, the intensity of the orgasm will probably be too much and I will probably involuntarily let out a moan or two that may quite loud.
I have almost no doubt at all that it will cause me to thrust my hips forward and back again a few times as I'm cumming no matter how much I try to prevent it. I will basically be stuck in place as this happens no matter where I am and no matter how many others are around me. An unusually large wet spot will unavoidably appear on my pants between my legs, which will all but confirm what is happening to anyone around who is seeing me. They will all know for sure that I just climaxed and came right there in public and right there in front of them, and there won't be a thing I can do about it.
I can hope to avoid it happening, but I may not be able to and I there's no way to know when it might happen. I do know for sure that I will cum at some point. It just won't be under my control about when or where it happens. I suppose that's up to my penis, and it's incapable of caring about when or where it does what it does.
I should probably relate a little more about how the recent sixth night went.
I fell asleep without having an erection, but something about falling asleep seems to cause erections to begin and rarely stop. Even when I wake up on my back, I will have an erection. With some cooler weather at the moment, the window sash is down and the light in the room shows my naked reflection in the glass if I look that way. Last night I could clearly see my erection in the glass, and what I can see, so can anyone who might be looking in. On my stomach and looking that way I can see me bare butt cheeks along with the rest of me naked. I can only imagine how it must look when I'm humping the bed and my butt is going up and down. Some of the people nearby probably know exactly how it looks.
Since this post is becoming very long with the updates, one more day of updates will be related here. After that it seems that a new post will be needed to provide additional updates. Especially since I won't be masturbating anymore. The decision in the poll seems unlikely to change anytime soon, since it has a clear majority.
SEVENTH DAY OF NO MASTURBATING:
This will be the last update in this post. Further updates will be related in a new post with updates being related as necessary.
Last night I was very tired but I only went to bed at around 11 pm, which is usually what time I go to bed. When being in bed and sleeping exposed through the window first became a requirement for me, I might have stayed out of bed later to slightly delay my exposure, but I seem to have gotten to the point where I know that's futile. It's not that I'm used to being exposed naked all night long, but I know it's unavoidable and it's a little less hard to just accept that I will be exposed and that whoever will see me will see me. It's probably best to describe it as that I'm just resigning myself to it being that way.
Being tired, I fell asleep in a short time after getting into bed. I did get an erection at one point while dozing off, but I just let it be. I couldn't do anything about it and I knew if anyone was looking in at me, they were already seeing that it was there. I tried putting all of the out of my mind as I dozed off.
I'm not sure of what time it was, but I woke up sometime later with my bare ass nearly off of the edge of the bed nearest to the window, and I knew I had been thrusting my hips. I was mostly lying on my right side and my penis wasn't really in contact with the bed. I had an erection and it seems as though I was just humping nothing. My bare ass must have been thrusting towards the window. My hip muscles felt as if I'd been going for a while, so I had probably been doing it for a while.
I stopped doing it right as I woke up and I thought how curious it was that I had been doing it. I was still tired, so I just lied there, but as I woke up a little more it dawned on me that I had been on display like that for who knows how long, and I'd been doing it as close to the window as I could be without leaving the bed. I also realized that I was still lying like that with my bare ass slightly pushed out towards the window.
I was comfortable in that position though, and I knew that if anyone had looked or was looking, they had already seen everything. The thought I had then was "screw it". I fell asleep again without changing my position.
I do still feel very exposed in bed, and I know really am very exposed, but as I'm resigning myself to being exposed I seem to be dwelling on it less and less. Instead of lying there thinking about it a lot, I'm a little more able to accept that this is how it will be whether I dwell on it or not. I think it's just a little bit easier now for me to push those thoughts out of my head and to fall asleep.
Absolutely nothing changes except for in my mind, but since that's all that can change it's at least something. I think I'm realizing on a deeper level that since I've already been seen a few times, and realizing that I will inevitably be seen more, that I just have to accept it. At night my naked body, my erections, humping the bed, and everything else are more or less public. As humiliating as that is, it's mostly true.
When I only partly wake up during he night, I'm even forgetting that I'm exposed, even though it comes back to me once I wake up more or look towards the uncovered window.
Sometime well into the very early morning I woke up just barely. I was on my back with a full erection. I don't know how to explain the concept, but with a full erection I can make it move up and down by using some reflex that feels like drawing or pulling in. I think it's similar to the process of getting the last squirts out while peeing.
As I lay there partly awake, I did that and my erection lifted up a little, then fell back down once I relaxed the reflex. I did this around a dozen times and I was enjoying the feeling of it. I finally stopped doing it and started trying to fall back asleep when I realized that for that whole time I had still been exposed through the window. I had a quick thought of "Aw" as I realized what may have been displayed if anyone was looking in at me, But then I resigned myself to the fact that whatever I did was probably going to be seen by nearby others no matter what I did or how I felt about it.
I also know that being exposed requires that nothing can remain private or unable to be seen even when it's extremely humiliating. When I inevitably see or encounter anyone nearby who has seen me exposed is when humiliation will apply.
I will admit this as a final part of this update. Without masturbating for a week now, the fact that I will be humiliated when someone nearby who has seen me exposed sees me in person seems to have triggered a full erection for me. I prefer not to think much about how or why that is, and will attribute it to my nearly constant state of high arousal due to lack of masturbation.
Further updates needed will be in a new post to follow.
