Ever since January 1st of 2023, the poll on deciding upon my masturbation, or lack of it has had a majority of the decisions being that I am prohibited from masturbating or in any way intentionally or knowingly climaxing.
Since the current majority result is in effect and is to be obeyed by me, and the result has not changed in spite of additional votes, it is currently approaching the 140 day point of the prohibition.
I am at times insanely horny and aroused without any way to relieve it, and this seems to be manifesting itself even while asleep. I wake up humping the bed more and more often, and at least one photo captured of me during the night by someone accessing my PC and webcam have revealed me in a quite humiliating and exposed position during a night of required exposure through a window.
I’m left wondering how often I might be repeating something like this and for how long I might be staying in such positions. Anyone looking from outside nearby could easily see me in such a position.
I understand that any effects from not masturbating are for me to endure and accept, and the decisions in the poll were made according to what it was believed that I deserve, so I have no reason to question whether or not I deserve whatever results from not masturbating.
It’s being repeatedly pointed out to me that such a majority of decisions are for me to remain prohibited from masturbating or climaxing, and that it is because a majority of others know that it’s what I deserve.
The poll for deciding upon whether or not I can masturbate/climax is due to remain open until February 1st of 2024, but much of what has been mentioned to me has struck me as being entirely true.
Poll: https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K
Results: http://www.poll-maker.com/S-Quiz-Results?qp=2728704xA26D96fe-113
I can see that a large majority of decisions are for prohibiting me from masturbating and intentionally climaxing. I have to assume that that majority is very unlikely to change even with more decisions being made.
I also see that very few additional decisions are being made, often with more than a month passing now without any additional decisions being made. I can’t deny the fact that it might be due to others being in agreement with the current results, and see no reason for any change in the current results.
I have to accept the fact that if the current majority remains the same, that the prohibition on masturbating/climaxing may well become permanent for me. since it will have been decided that is what I deserve.
For the past several months I have been thinking of it all as just biding the time until the results change, even though there has been no reason to expect them to change.
Recently, partly due to what has been pointed out to me, I have been thinking that the poll remaining open may really just be prolonging the inevitable. It may even be me avoiding what may already be a permanent prohibition on climaxing, and possibly me failing to accept what I deserve.
I know once the poll ends or closes, that’s it. The prohibition will be permanent for sure. But in most ways it already seems to be permanent anyway. Whether I remain prohibited from masturbating or climaxing until February 1st and the ban becomes permanent, or whether it becomes permanent right away does seem to be the same result.
I suppose accepting the results and a permanent prohibition is the right thing for me to do. I didn’t think about how it might be considered to be a disservice to anyone who thinks or wants the prohibition to be permanent for me if the poll continues for months without any actual change in the results.
It feels like a huge thing for me to accept being permanently prohibited from masturbating or climaxing intentionally. I know I will absolutely have to obey the prohibition and, as it’s said in one comment, I will have to do all I can to make sure that I do never climax, so that I remain as aroused and horny as possible at all times no matter how frustrating it would be.
The only way I would ever climax and ejaculate again is if or when someone else caused it personally and intentionally. It’s possible that eventually I could end up begging or pleading for someone else to cause me to climax, and then have it be up to them whether they would enable and permit it or not.
But whether it’s now or later, all of that seems to be inevitable, so I do have to consider accepting the prohibition on masturbating/climaxing as being permanent soon, or at least sooner.
I still feel like I need more time to be able to accept it, but at some point I know I have to accept it. So as soon as I can get myself to go through with it, I will be accepting a permanent prohibition on masturbating and intentionally climaxing, and accept continuing to do everything possible to ensure that I do never climax. It will be stated publicly so that there can be no question that the prohibition is permanent.
