Obeying the poll results for no masturbating causing frustrating arousal without release

 With the first poll now being closed and the results of it being a permanent part of life for me, only the second poll for whether or not I can masturbate remains open.

(Results of first poll is related in post): https://davidsteckelnakedandexposed.blogspot.com/2023/02/exposure-poll-closed-and-results.html?zx=de1c4a9c06df99e4

The current results of the second poll https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K continues to have a majority at a ratio of 6 to 1 deciding that I cannot masturbate at all, for any reason, and that I can only ejaculate, cum, or obtain relief if it occurs entirely without me intentionally causing it in any way. It can only occur if I have a wet dream during sleep, or if it occurs spontaneously as a result of some random daily activity without intention, regardless of where it occurs or who might be present or nearby at the time.

It is now at the 70 day point (as of March 12th, 2023) since I have masturbated or ejaculated, aside from a few weeks ago when I was so aroused that a couple of drops of pre-cum escaped. I have beyond any doubt now gone longer than I ever have before since puberty without either masturbating or cumming. 

The level of arousal and being horny so much, so often is enough at times to leave me feeling desperate for relief, and I often feel like I cannot go another minute without masturbating and cumming. But I somehow manage to refrain from doing it. I refrain for a couple of reasons. One reason is that from the very start I committed to abiding by and obeying the results of the polls, even before any outcome could be known.

I am currently already abiding by all of the results of the first poll, and because they are now permanent for me, I will always be committed to obeying them.

Another reason for obeying the results for not masturbating is that I have obeyed those results for so long already that all of that would seem meaningless if I just ignored the commitment. Either my commitment means something or it doesn't, and I can't just pick and choose which results I wish to abide by and which ones I don't wish to abide by.

So I remain agonizingly horny and aroused very often in the slim hope that the poll results will somehow change at some point and once again allow me to masturbate and cum.

I realize that some will believe that I'm still masturbating and just saying that I'm not, but I can only swear and attest to the fact that I really am abiding by what the current poll results are deciding. Otherwise the poll could just be closed the results ignored. The only reason the poll remains open is because if the results change enough, it is the only chance there is for me to be allowed to masturbate and cum again.

I'm sure there are some who simply don't care one single bit about whether or not I can masturbate, and that's to be expected. The poll was always intended for those who wished to offer their input. 

There may be those who did participate in the poll, and who decided that I cannot be allowed to masturbate at all. They most likely prefer that the results remain as they are and may enjoy knowing that I have to be horny and aroused all of the time. It cannot be denied that they have every right to want that, to enjoy my situation, and to expect me to continue to obey the poll results unless or until the results change.

It has been suggested to me more than once that the poll should be closed with the results as they currently are, and that I should accept the fact that I can never masturbate or intentionally cum again. I've been told that I deserve to have to live every day being horny and turned on without any hope of relief from it. Maybe I do deserve that, but I'm still hoping that I don't deserve that. I'm still hoping that what I end up deserving is just not being allowed to masturbate or cum for a long period of time, which I'm already experiencing, but eventually being allowed to masturbate and cum again.

At the usual rate that I masturbated before not being allowed to, I would have masturbated and ejaculated at least 200 times by this point, but instead that number of times is zero. 

I can't ignore the fact that it's been nearly three weeks since any new votes in the poll have occurred, and that everyone who wished to add their input already has made their decision. 

Poll: https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K

Current results: http://www.poll-maker.com/S-Quiz-Results?qp=2728704xA26D96fe-113

I can't ignore the fact that for every vote that allows me to masturbate, that six votes say that I cannot. I know the odds of that changing is very slim, but it's all I can hope for. The poll is set to remain open until February 1st, 2024. 

Only one of three things can happen by then. The slimmest odds are that the results change to where I receive permission to masturbate again. Another is that the results simple do not change at all, and the third thing is that more votes decide that I cannot masturbate at all, which would basically seal my fate. Either of those last two scenarios would both result in there being no hope of ever being allowed to masturbate until I cum. 

It's not looking promising that I will ever receive permission through the poll to masturbate again, but my options are to accept that now or to hope for something to change with less than 11 months left until the poll closes and the results become permanent. 

Of course I can tease myself even more by seeing a video of me masturbating, from before the poll results prohibited it. Like this one taken only 5 days before the poll results put an end to my masturbation. I didn't know then that it would be one of the last times for at least a very long time, if not permanently. 

The few messages and comments received have so far mostly suggested that I admit and accept the permanent loss of any right to ever masturbate to orgasm again. Most of this is based on what the poll results currently are. 

I am obeying those results, but I am not losing all hope yet for someday receiving permission to masturbate again. I've obeyed the results for 70 days and counting so far, which is already inconceivable to me, but I know for sure that I have obeyed them. If nothing changes after 100 days, or maybe 150 days, I may just have to accept that I really can't masturbate ever again. 

At the moment I know how difficult it has been to not masturbate for 70 days straight, and I just can't fathom how difficult it would be to go for one year, five years, ten years or longer without any masturbating at all. 

The message below is one of the longest and most descriptive received so far.

The end of your masturbation

Inbox

The question of whether you are to be allowed to masturbate has effectively already been answered. You committed yourself to accepting and obeying whatever it was that was decided that you deserve. That decision has been reached and you're now left with two choices. One is to defy, disregard, and reject the decision, which would mean your statements and commitments have no worth or value.

The only other choice for you is to obey the decision, and to accept the fact that you have already masturbated for the last time ever. This means doing your utmost to ensure that you never reach a climax through anything you do. Legitimately, this means never stimulating yourself through touch of any kind. No rubbing, no stroking, and no other sort of physical stimulation of your cock.

That's probably the most extreme interpretation of the decision, but even if you do those things, it can never, ever end up with you cumming or ejaculating.

Of course you're free to leave the poll open for however long you wish, but if you're going to follow through with your commitment and accept what you deserve, then masturbating must be a thing of the past for you, never to be done again. Your arousal, your being horny, or being turned on is something you will have to learn to accept and endure.

Hoping that the poll will provide permission for you to resume masturbating is at this point only false hope. You were more correct than you probably know when you wrote that many people "most likely prefer that the results remain as they are and may enjoy knowing that I have to be horny and aroused all of the time".

The whole reason people would prefer and enjoy that is because they believe that is exactly what you deserve. The only right thing for you to do, when you're ready to accept the decision, is to say outright that you do accept the decision, and that you will remain committed to obeying it by never again masturbating to the point of a climax. 

bxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com	8:32 AM (7 hours ago)
to daves113065@gmail,com

Please click this link https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K to visit and vote in the poll. Please vote to permit me to resume masturbating again.  Unless enough votes are received to allow me to masturbate, I may never be allowed to masturbate again. 

Not voting at all or more votes for me to never be allowed to masturbate is sentencing me to permanently being aroused, horny, and turned on without any hope of relief. 

Please, please do not leave me prohibited from masturbating permanently. 

Nightly Exposure being observed

My nightly and night long exposure has been occurring ever since it became one of the requirements in the results of a now closed poll. The requirement is that I sleep naked in a well lit room, where the bed is in full view of the window. The window blind is to remain open, and no sheets or covers can be used to cover up or conceal me at any time.

During the first couple of months of this, and as I was getting adjusted to being exposed naked every night, I was only aware of being seen or observed on a couple of occasions. I knew then how much of a difference there is between knowing I could be seen and actually knowing that I was being seen naked at that very moment. At that moment I knew that one or more people that I didn't really know, but who I would see or encounter during the day, was looking at every part of my naked body that they could see, and they knew they were completely free to look for as long as they wanted to. I also knew that now that they had seen me naked, they might continue to look to see when I might be exposed again for them to see. 

Over the last few months, I really have no idea how many people may have seen me naked at night, or how many times or how often they might be looking. While it's completely dark outside, the view is mostly one way since the light inside makes it hard to see anything beyond the window other than reflections of the inside of the room and my own naked reflection. I'm also asleep or trying to sleep at those times, so anyone looking at me then would basically be free to look while never being known about by me.

I thought I might be jumping to conclusions at first, but on some mornings when I would wake up as daylight was coming, I started to notice that there seemed to be a bit more activity outside than there usually was. Once there would be a little bit of daylight I could begin to see a bit more of what was going on outside. I could see people walking, going to or from vehicles, walking dogs, or just being out there. I knew that in the dim daylight, if I could see them then they could surely see me on the bed in a lit room.

I told myself that all of that must always have occurred, and that I was just noticing it now. I thought it was conceited to think that any of it had anything to do with me. I told myself that most or all of them weren't even noticing me in bed naked, let alone looking at me or observing me.

I got myself to believe that for a while and for the most part, and it might actually be true at times for some people who are out there at some times. But it doesn't seem to be true for others. Some do seem to find some reason to be outside at around the same time each morning, even if they seem to have no reason to be out there. They also always seem to be out there before it gets too light outside or before the time when I get out of bed.

I'm partly convinced that some people nearby have realized that before it's too light outside and before the time comes when I usually get out of bed, that they can see me without having to venture out in the dark or at some very late or very early time.

It could all be coincidence, and attributing any of that to being about seeing me naked could be entirely off base, but it's increasing seeming to be accurate. If it is accurate, then I now have one or more regular and repeated viewers, at least until seeing me becomes too routine or my naked body becomes too well known and familiar to them. 

   

As impossible as it is to ever expect to be exposed naked without being seen naked, I surely never expected for there to be regular viewers, if that is in fact the case. It's looking more and more as though I'm becoming one of the regular sights or an interesting attraction for viewing by nearby others. And not a temporary one. 

Also, it's now 60 plus days into my requirement for no masturbating at all. The poll for this still remains open, but it's continuing to appear that there will be no reprieve on this for me, and that remaining aroused and horny for much of the time will continue indefinitely.

https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K

Exposure Poll closed and results permanent. Poll deciding masturbation remains open.

 Either for better or for worse depending on someone's viewpoint, the poll for what exposure I deserve has had to be closed, this time permanently. The poll had previously been closed, but reopened to enable additional responses. Not only did the decided results not change, but the majority decisions were further reinforced and confirmed. 

After weeks of no new responses at all, the final decisions were very clear.

The final and permanent results of the closed poll are and always will be:

1- The online exposure of David Steckel must be available and presented directly to others, including to those who know him personally.

2- David Steckel must have no say say about any post of him naked made by anyone, and cannot ask or request the removal of any post.

3- David Steckel's device (PC) must be available through a remote access application for anyone who wishes to access it. The access information must remain available to other

4- When encountered in person or when present with David Steckel, he must strip naked when requested to, and he must give all clothing as a gift to whoever is present, and remain in his naked state.

5- David Steckel must sleep naked every night for the entire night, with lights on, without any covering, and with the window blind raised to enable is exposure through the window for all to see.

This must occur when sleeping or spending a night anywhere it is possible, to the furthest extent possible.

The final and permanent results of this are that my exposure must always be available and presented directly to others, including to those who know me.

I have no say so about any post of me naked made by anyone, and cannot ask for its removal.

My PC must remain available for access through a remote access app by anyone. All photos and videos on the PC must remain available for copy or transfer for free use by others. All websites frequented by me or where I have a page or membership must remain able to be visited or accessed. 

Teamviewer address: 1 054 262 400 Password: Nakedandexposed1

Anydesk address: 990 573 524 Password: Showmystuff1

Firefox browser is primarily used browser.

In person and when requested, I must strip naked and present my clothing as a gift to whoever is present. How or if any clothing is returned is entirely up to whoever then currently owns and possesses the clothing.

I can never spend a night while not being exposed to view naked to others beyond the room or location unless circumstances make it impossible.

The remaining poll at: https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K currently has 2 votes allowing me to masturbate, and 12 votes deciding that I must not masturbate, and can only climax if it occurs without being caused by me. It ca only occur spontaneously on its own, and possibly if it is caused by someone other than me. 

While still allowed, my last climax occurred on January 1st 2023 in the early morning. I've had to remain aroused and horny often since then without being allowed to cause an ejaculation. Unless or until I receive permission through the poll to masturbate, I must continue to abstain form it entirely. This poll is to remain open until approximately February 1st of 2024. 

This poll was the obvious choice to remain open, since its closure at the current time would remove the possibility for me to ever receive permission to masturbate. Once this poll does close, the decisions of others and the results will become as permanent as the results of the now closed poll. 

In all cases, the decisions made by a majority of others is always to be obeyed will be final upon the ending of or closing of a poll. 

Up-to-date on nightly exposure and no masturbating

 As much is it could go without saying due to all requirements for me being obeyed, I'm still remaining exposed naked each night and while in bed.

In the last photo, a car with its headlight on can be seen approaching in the direction of the window. It's not known if its occupants saw me, but in the early morning light they may have. Of course all night long and while it's fully dark outside I remain exposed and observable although I am asleep and unaware of any of it for most or all of that time. 

                                             David Steckel sleeping while exposed naked through window
 

Although being exposed naked to view all night does still include periods of time of feeling extremely exposed and feeling at least moderately humiliated at times, I believe my public exposure each night is becoming or even is a matter of course for me.

When getting into bed I can often do it without much thought about my being naked, the lights being on, or about the window being uncovered. It's basically the new normal for me. I can become quite aware of my exposure if I look directly at the window from my bed, especially if I can see beyond the window, so I make an attempt to not look in that direction. 

Due to not masturbating, which has been the case now for 55+ days and nights, erections occur every night and usually multiple times per night. Once I fall asleep, any time I wake up during the night I tend to already have an erection. To be able to fall asleep again quickly, I found it best to just ignore the erections. I obviously get them while asleep and anyone observing me would see them anyway, so it doesn't seem worthwhile to pay attention to them while I'm briefly awake. 

I still wake up to find myself on my stomach humping the bed or on my back thrusting upwards, but the most I can do then is to stop doing it and assume that anyone observing me has seen it. Apparently as long as I'm aroused or horny from not masturbating, these things will continue and aren't preventable. I just have to consider them as being part of my nightly exposure to the neighborhood. 

For at least some nearby, my nightly exposure naked is likely a fixture that is expected to be there. Especially for those who have the best line of sight view of my bed through the window. Those who arrive home late in the evening or who leave early in the morning before or just after dawn have every opportunity to see me. The rest of the night is an open question since the comings and goings of others is random and unpredictable. 

It's a strange dichotomy though, since during the day my body is mostly mine to conceal or keep covered up, but at night none of that is the case. Seeing me completely naked and exposed is as simple as looking towards my window, and the opportunity to view me is not brief or temporary. It lasts for the entire night and well into or after dawn at the current time. 

As the time for sunrise and sunset changes over time, how long I am exposed each night won't change. From between 10:30 and 11:00 pm each night until between 7:00 and 7:30 am each morning I will be exposed to view naked. Any night where I am extra tired and go to be earlier, it only means that my exposure begins earlier that night.

 

For anyone accessing my PC through Anydesk or Teamviewer. (temporary post)

 This post will remain until its purpose has been fulfilled or completed.

As part of the results of the poll at: https://poll-maker.com/Q6RHPFQJB 

Results: http://www.poll-maker.com/S-Quiz-Results?qp=2728626x68B1865f-113

One of the results that states:  His exposure should be available in ways that present it directly to others, including and especially to those who know him personally.

There is still one thing that I cannot bring myself to do even though it would be necessary as part of complying with that particular requirement of the poll.

To be honest, not all of those who know me have been invited or directly notified about the Facebook page created and intended to expose me to them. All of those who I could bring myself to invite to the page have been invited. Currently 337 invites have been sent, leaving a final 33 more to be invited. I realize that number is supposed to be zero.

If or when my PC is accessed through Anydesk or Teamviewer, this issue can be, and probably should be corrected by them while they have access. 

My PC will remain on and the apps will remain open for use at all possible times.

Firstly, the browser used should be the Firefox browser, since using it would avoid the sign in process. 

Then either the icon on my desktop listed as "Facebook Exposure Page" can be used or this link can be pasted into the browsers search box:

https://www.facebook.com/DavidSteckelNewd

Once the page is loaded, a set of three horizontal dots can be found on the right side of the page.

 Clicking on these dots will open a drop-down menu. One option in the menu will be "Invite Friends". Clicking this will open a list showing uninvited friends with small boxes next to each name. Clicking on the name or the box on the same line will fill the box with a blue check mark. The first box checked will also enable the "send invites" button below.

Once any or all desired boxes are checked, the "send invites" button will send the invites. The page can then be exited if desired.

I know that by not sending the invites myself, that I am not complying with the requirement of the poll, but I have not been able to commit myself to sending them.

This issue could be resolved by anyone who access my PC through one of the apps, and only needs to be done once.

If or when it is done, this post will be removed, so as long as this post remains the task has not been completed yet.

Once again, the information to access my PC is:

Teamviewer address: 1 054 262 400 Password: Nakedandexposed1

Anydesk address: 990 573 524 Password: Showmystuff1

If my PC is accesses during the time while it is night where I am (approximately 11:00 pm to 7:00 am Eastern Tine or UTC-5 hours) the webcam can be activated to observe me while in bed or asleep. I now always sleep completely naked at night and remain naked for the entire night. Lights remain on all night, there is no covers or covering available, and the blind on the window beside my bed remains raised which enables others nearby to see or observe me at any time during any night.

The webcam remains in a location where I can be seen with the uncovered window beyond me. If the built in webcam activates, simply switch cameras using the option on the upper right of the display to switch to the proper camera. (Any footage, photos, or video from the camera is free to be used by the viewer for any desired or possible purpose.) 

First Accidental Ejaculation and Exposure update with morning exposure video

 First I have to mention that on the morning of my 50th day without masturbating, I spontaneously ejaculated a few drops of cum. It happened while I was reviewing a video just taken of what's come to be my morning exposure through the window in my bedroom. As a way to become more accustomed to remaining exposed all night, I've begun to briefly be exposed to a greater degree just after sunrise on most mornings. At that time it's not so dark to make me extremely obvious, and it's light enough to see whether I was seen or not, especially if it's on video. I may not know about being seen at the time, but a review of a video can show whether my morning exposure has been observed by anyone who was outside. Through a recent video I did discover afterwards that I actually had been seen.

As I was reviewing a more recent video that showed no obvious signs of anyone seeing me, I saw how I was being displayed at the time. Not having masturbated for 50 days has me extremely aroused at many times, and as I watched my display, I imagined that it was someone other than me who had to be displayed as I was in the video. 

Just the thought of someone else having to be displayed like that even if someone was seeing them caused me to have an erection that was stiffer than many others I get. I was naked at the time, so no clothing was touching my erection. I became so aroused that I thrust my hips a few times, and on the third thrust I felt a climax approaching. As usual when that occurs I froze in place, expecting it to subside as usual. This time it kept coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Apparently I held still just in time to limit it though, since only one single spurt came out before things subsided. 

I had not touched my penis and neither had anything else except for air, but I still had a minor ejaculation. Right away I felt wrong and felt like I violated the requirement to never masturbate. But I knew that I hadn't masturbated. It seems that my body is at a point where it insists on ejaculating or "cumming" no matter what I do. So much arouses me or turns me on now compared to when I used to masturbate that there's no way to.completely avoid arousal. Of course I will keep obeying my requirement never to masturbate, but now it appears that occasional ejaculations are inevitable and will occur anywhere at any time whether I want them to or not. 

Here is the video I was reviewing when the minor ejaculation occurred:

 

 Just a quick review for context. I sleep naked each night with multiple lights on, without coverings, and with the window blind raised. A portion of the neighborhood has the ability to see me, which more and more people seem to be making use of. I can be observed from multiple residences through their windows from inside, so I can be observed by some people in private.

With some new and brighter bulbs in some lights in my bedroom, I am much more illuminated naked all night than I was with the older light bulbs. Even after months of sleeping exposed naked I still feel some anxiety at times about being on perpetual display naked. The brighter lights only added to my anxiety. It's not exactly anxiety though. It's more of a sense of heightened awareness that can make it difficult to sleep. 

I'm fine with a single light on with a dim bulb, but of course I'm barely exposed by that and may not be exposed at all. I know that unless the light level is sufficient for me to be visible, I'm not following the requirement for being exposed while in bed at night.

The morning exposure sessions will hopefully make being exposed and seen during the night seem more minor and allow me to sleep better even while I'm exposed, easily visible, and seen. With more and more nearby others seemingly becoming more interested in seeing me and paying a lot of attention to my bedroom window, I need some way that helps me to remain more passive about this and accepting of it. 

My exposure each night is required and has to occur, and I realize that being seen is also inevitable. It's more often now me being watched rather than just seen, since more people are now aware that I'm always there naked to look at, and they are taking their time to see as much as they can. I suppose they are just taking advantage of the fact that I'm there to be seen, which I suppose is an inevitable result of my exposure to them.

I never thought this far ahead or expected to become an ongoing source of entertainment for so many nearby others, but that does seem to be what is occurring. I can only guess or assume that those who decided I would be required to be exposed every night expected or knew this would occur, and they wanted to be sure I did get the exposure that I deserved. 

The morning exposures and the videos do seem to be working to help me be more accepting of my nightly exposure, although this is still a new and recent thing and may take more time to have more of an effect. 

I have to admit that some other advice I received does seem to help very much during my times of being exposed and seen. When I remind myself and repeat "I deserve this" or "This is what I deserve" while I'm being exposed or seen naked, it's much easier to accept. It at least gives me something to focus on at the time, and I have nothing that says or shows that it isn't completely true and accurate. 

Also, some photos were clipped from the video where I was seen exposed and with my ass raised towards the window. They will also be included in the previous post about them.

https://davidsteckelnakedandexposed.blogspot.com/2023/02/seen-very-exposed-through-window.html 

First is a photo of me while I was turned around towards the camera to show what could be seen of me through the window by anyone outside.

 Next is a photo of me being seen for the first time, followed by an enlargement of a small area where the viewer was located.

 

The viewer can't be seen too clearly, but it is someone standing still looking at my ass. I just didn't know it then and only found out later by watching the video.

The next photo shows the second time I was seen, about eleven minutes later. It's followed by an enlargement of the are where the viewer stood. They can be seen better this time, and they stood there looking for longer than when I was seen the first time.

 

I didn't know I was seen the second time either until it was seen in the video. Whoever they are, they saw me with my ass exposed and raised.

Seen VERY Exposed through window

 If it's not known already, I'm required to spend each night in bed completely naked, with bright lights on, without coverings of any kind, and with the window blind raised, which fully enables anyone nearby or passing through to see or observe me naked.

As mentioned in previous posts, for most of the night I am asleep or at least unable to see or know if or when I am being looked at. During the day though, quite a few who live nearby and those who come and go during the night, do tend to look towards or take long looks towards my window each time they are within sight of it. It's quite definite that they are looking in at me naked sometime during the nights or early morning.

It's not unexpected that I am being seen naked by nearby people, since the requirement to be and remain exposed every night for the entire night surely came with the intent that I actually be seen naked. It's always been inevitable that I would be and will be seen naked.

In the few months that I've been required to sleep naked and exposed it''s been clear that I was seen a few times. Knowing I am being seen and can be seen at any moment will occasionally leave me feeling anxious once I'm in bed and exposed.

Some recent advice I received mentioned that I might become less anxious about being seen naked in bed by being exposed naked through the window to a greater degree than I am while in bed. It made sense to me that might actually help to do that. 

I decided to do it not long after dawn on a morning when I also had access to a camera that could record it. Not only did I want to see how exposed I appeared, but it also seemed like it could be proof that I was obeying the requirement to be exposed while in bed. I didn't expect anything else to come from having a video of it.

So after a Saturday night of being exposed naked in bed until Sunday morning, I decided on that morning that I would try being exposed much more than I had been all night. It began within minutes of me waking up and before I was even fully awake yet.

The video of it is included and can be watched now or after further reading for more context. It took a while to get it compressed from it's original 1.5 Gigabyte size down to less than 100 Megabytes for posting/sharing purposes without losing much quality. Whenever it's viewed, watch closely on the left side of the view out of the window. The elapsed time during the video for when to watch for something is roughly at 2:42 and again at 13:35. It's not difficult to notice but it's best to watch it expanded on full screen mode. If full screen doesn't function then the video can be downloaded and full screen mode should function for the downloaded version.

Photos were clipped from the video that show three things. One shows me turned to show the camera what anyone outside would see.

The next ones show me being seen the first time at 2;40 into the video, followed by an enlargement of where the viewer stood while they looked at my exposed ass.

The last two show me being seen the second time at 13: 35 into the video, followed by another enlargement of where the viewer stood. This time I was looked at for much longer than the first time.

 

Once I turned on the camera, I climbed onto the bed, and did some difficult to make out commentary as I knelt on the bed, lowered my upper body, and raised my bare ass towards the uncovered window. With my raised ass presented to the neighborhood, I mostly just stayed in place without looking back too much or too often to see if I was being seen.

I thought it would be better not to know for sure at the time of I was being seen, so that I wouldn't have an urge to stop being exposed and presented naked in such a revealing way. At one point I did turn to show the camera the view of my ass that was being displayed towards the outside before I resumed my display.

In the video I acknowledge that I know I deserve this exposure, and even how I wouldn't know if I had been seen unless I saw it happen on the video later. I mention about how by then it would already have happened and nothing could be done about it. I mention a few things about which nearby people might be most likely to see me being displayed as I was.

Much later when I did finally watch the video, I was surprised to see in the background outside of the window, that someone appeared while walking. They then appear to notice me with my bare raised ass on display, and stop to look at me for a moment. They then move off towards the right and go out of sight. I was entirely oblivious at the time of the fact that I was being seen. Ironically at almost that very moment I was saying something about not knowing if I would be or was being seen. This viewing of me occurred even before I turned to show the camera a view of how I was being displayed through the window.

Since I had no idea that I had already been seen in such an exposed and humiliating position, I remained exposed for many more minutes.

After finding out that I had been seen after all, I watched more of the video. As it the ending came nearer, I was sure that nothing else of interest would happen. Just when I was considering stopping the video before the end, movement outside on the left side of the window became visible. 

A person walks into view, walks to where their view of me is in direct sight of them, and stops walking. They stand there looking at my exposed ass for much longer than I'd been looked at the first time. It can't be seen for sure if it's the same person twice or a different person seeing me the second time. There's no sign of the first person returning from right to left after seeing me the first time, but it's possible they did return without it being seen on the video.

Either way, whoever looked at me the second time made sure they got a good. long look at me. I tried to see if I could tell if they took any photos of me, but the resolution isn't high enough. The sun was still rising then too, and the brightness outside always becomes too much for the view outside to be seen on a camera. Even the eleven or so minutes between views of me, there was a big change in brightness. The second viewer can easily be seen, but is much more difficult to see who it might be. 

So I was either seen humiliatingly exposed by two people eleven minutes apart, or by one person who got a good look the first time, but a much better, longer look the second time.

Being seen so definitely and in such a revealing and humiliating position does make me consider hesitating to continue such exposures. But I know I need to become more accustomed to being seen naked in such ways by random others. I want to get to where it gets easier to just accept that I will be or am being seen naked during nights, and to accept or learn to dismiss any humiliation that results from it. 

I know there will be times when the area outside has lots of activity at night, and I hope to be able to accept that exposure. I also know that there will be nights spent in some hotel or motel where the requirement to sleep exposed naked still applies. In the rooms in those places I will still have to be completely naked in bed, the lights will still have to remain on all night, all but the fitted sheet over the mattress must be removed out of reach and sight, and any drapes, curtains, or blinds must be open far enough to enable my exposure and viewing. 

During nights in those places I will absolutely be seen or watched naked just due to the amount of other people there and because of they will be coming and going often. In those places, foot traffic will occur right outside and people will be free to stand directly on the other side of the window glass and just look at me. Somehow I have to be able to accept that without moving away, trying to cover up, or becoming too anxious about it.

I know I'm not there yet, since I'm still in near-disbelief that I was seen two times within a short time, and that the viewer actually stood still for as long as they did to get a good look at my exposed ass. There's no doubt that whoever looked at me is going to keep looking any time my window is in their view, so I do need to accept being seen by them often.

It should be said that I don't think they looked at my raised ass because they liked seeing it. I think they were too amazed at what they were seeing that they couldn't help but look. They may have also been curious about why I was on display naked like I was at the time. It's possible that they enjoyed what they saw, or possible that they thought it was erotic in some way, but I do doubt that. The reason why anyone looks at me naked doesn't have any influence on the requirement for me to be exposed naked every night. 

I suppose that the only way to know if a viewer does enjoy what they're viewing of me is if they return often for another view and spend more time taking a good look. Whether or not they do, I am and always will be required to be there exposed naked.  

At least now there is some video proof of me actually being seen naked other than online.

Photo album and questionnaires removed by Google

 All photos and videos in the Google album have been removed by Google. The album is still there but without any content. I was sent a notification for each and every photo and video that it had been reported as inappropriate and that they can no longer be available on Google. 

As far as I can tell, the blog is still intact. It may be unrelated, but a few recent comments have also been removed. The notification that a comment was received is still there, but one or more comments are no longer present. 

Also, both current questionnaires have been flagged as inappropriate and as bullying and intimidation, and are no longer available. 

This calls into question as to which requirements will and should remain if effect since no further voting or decisions can be made. 

The requirement for sleeping exposed naked had been in effect for months already, while ironically the requirement for no masturbating had been in effect for exactly 30 days.

Both requirements will remain in effect until a decision of some kind is reached, since both seemed very likely to remain in effect for at least some period of time in any case.

Any input on this topic could be useful.

UPDATE:

The questionnaires have been replaced as closely as possible with a poll on a different website.

To keep the results as close as possible to what they were, the result with the majority was set to a number that equals the minimum number for the majority it had in the previous version. 

In one poll the majority was held by eight votes and in the other it was by eleven votes. The best that can be done is for voting to continue from that point.

The new poll for deserved exposure is at:

https://poll-maker.com/Q6RHPFQJB

and the new poll for masturbation is at:

https://poll-maker.com/QW60PXF8K# 

Any postings for the original questionnaires made in other places or on other websites will be updated with the new links as soon as possible.

A hole in jeans

 In a post it was mentioned how one pair of jeans of mine has a hole near the zipper area. It was mentioned in a comment that I should keep wearing them for as long as possible.

I do have a few pairs of jeans, so the pair with the hole is cycled through. As they are washed or laundered, each pair is worn again. Each time the pair with the hole is worn or washed, the hole inevitably gets larger and more easily noticeable.

It began as the tiniest of holes, but has now become large enough to be potentially revealing.

As of today they are due to be laundered again, but before removing them for laundering, a few photos were taken. The hole will surely be slightly enlarged once the jeans go through the washer and the dryer.

So far only a small part of my penis is visible through the hole, especially when I have a full or partial erection. Since I still have no permission to masturbate, erections tend to occur often. Most shirts I own are not long enough to cover the hole unless the shirt is pulled down and held at all times, which is not possible. 

When I'm out and walking around it's hard to tell how much can be seen, since my point of view is from directly above, while the view of others is more straight on.

The few strings covering the hole are slowly being worn away with each wearing and each laundry cycle. 

When at home I'm naked most of the time, and I only put clothes on when I'm about to leave home, excluding any underwear of course. It's almost always just a shirt, pants, and shoes.

I have noticed a few others in public just glancing down towards the hole, but I can't be sure what may have been visible to them at the time. I often even forget that I'm currently wearing the jeans with the hole either until someone glances toward the hole or until I'm walking and feel a flow of cooler air on my penis. 

It's inevitable that the hole will become large enough to see through, at very least showing that I'm not wearing anything underneath. 

It's hard to say when "for as long as possible" will be, but clearly that point has not been reached yet.  

Of course this is what the jeans are concealing at least for now

 

Exposure update

 It's been eight days since the last update, so another update is about due.

The most noteworthy subject is probably that the three week point has been passed since I was last able to masturbate. 

https://forms.gle/cx6YQK5zF6fuNk3n8  

For a short time I believed some point had been passed where being repeatedly aroused at random times of the day and night has eased some, since even erections occurred a bit less often.

I don't know why there was some reprieve for me for a few days, just as I don't know why I've once again begun to be aroused without an apparent reason or get erections at random times.

The short reprieve seems to have caused me to lower my guard a bit. 

I was recently driving n a multi lane highway with lots of traffic lights and turning lanes, and doing it early in the morning when lots of other traffic was present. 

I had a partial erection for some of the drive, but it soon became a full erection that was clearly outlined in my pants. Since I don't wear underwear, the erection extended several inches down the inner part of my left leg. As I drove along there was traffic in all three lanes that remained built up at a traffic signal even after the light had turned green. I ended up sitting still quite a bit. 

I first began rubbing my pants over top of my erection in an absent minded way, but because it felt so good I became aware of doing it. I was so aroused though, and because I saw no vehicles near me that were tall enough for anyone to see between my legs, I kept rubbing slowly and carefully. I wanted the feeling but I knew that climaxing was still not permitted no matter how much I might want it.

I pulled into a lane on the left and waited for the signal ahead to change to allow crossing of the three oncoming lanes of traffic. While I sat there, the three lanes of traffic on my right kept going through a green traffic signal. 

I was so caught up in my rubbing that I never paid attention to how the traffic on my right had stopped due to the signal in front of them turning red. 

I was suddenly aware of a high, white pickup truck just beside me, and I saw a guy behind the wheel watching me rub the raised area of fabric covering my erection, The truck windows had a tint to them, so seeing beyond the driver was difficult. I did think I saw another person in the passenger seat trying to lean over to look my way. There was definitely someone else moving around over there, but the tint on the glass made it hard to tell what they were doing or looking at.

I stopped my rubbing, and a second or so later the guy looked right at me with just a trace of a smirk on his face. I knew that he knew what I'd been doing, and he knew that I knew I'd bee seen by him doing it. Fortunately for me the signal for turning changed to green and I was able to make my turn. I knew I had to be more careful and to restrain my urges and impulses while in public.

I did begin to rub my erection a couple more times after that, but as soon as I realized I was doing it I forced myself to stop.

Sometimes in private I will let myself rub for a while, since it feels good. It's just a tease though, and the price for that is to be fully stimulated and close to a climax, but having to stop without any release or relief.

Even before I got out of bed that morning, I had been drifting in and out of sleep for a while before, and I was aware that I was maintaining a full erection. At the time it was still mostly dark out and soon began to get s bit light outside. I recall looking towards the uncovered window during one of these moments and noticed that some cars were moving about with their headlights on. I knew this meant that people were heading to their cars and going to wherever they needed to go, and that they might be seeing me or looking my way as they did this.

I knew there was nothing preventing them from seeing me naked, and I was still too groggy and half asleep to want to give it much thought. I did wish my erection would go away so that they wouldn't see me naked and with a full erection, but the erection was unrelenting. I knew turning onto my front would be unbearable and way too stimulating, so all there was to do is lie there naked, illuminated, and with a full erection. By reminding myself that there was no point in thinking about any of that right now, I managed to doze off again for a while.

I don't think there's any way to actually get used to being completely exposed naked to the view of anyone nearby who has even the slightest desire to look. The most that seems possible is to adjust as much as possible to it. This involves repeatedly reminding myself that not one single thing is private for me while in bed. I still try to deceive myself at times by telling myself that no one is seeing me or looking, but I know that's not really possible or realistic. 

I don't know it, but I feel that by now after more than sixty nights and well over 400 hours of being exposed, that some of those nearby have come to expect to see me exposed during the night whenever they happen to look my way. I don't believe that any of them would react to it if I wasn't exposed when they expected me to be, other than wondering why I wasn't exposed, but I do believe that it would be noticed by some. Those seeing me for their first time would still probably just look without any real expectations.

My nightly erections and my humping of the bed still continue unabated, and if anything they occur more than ever. A dozen or so times per week I awaken during the night to find myself on my front and humping the bed with an erection. The only option then is to roll over to try to limit the stimulation of my erection, which then exposes my erection to additional possible view. Much or even all of this must be due to having not masturbated or climaxed for more then three weeks and counting.

It does appear that my arousal and erections will continue well into the foreseeable future, since the results of the questionnaire remain largely unchanged. 

https://forms.gle/cx6YQK5zF6fuNk3n8 

A few times I wanted to climax so much that I would momentarily consider just masturbating even without permission to do it, but each time I have to dismiss that thought. I know that explaining why I did it or worse, lying about it would never be successful over the long term. I have no doubt at all that at some point it would be discovered due to an inconsistency by me or for some other reason. 

With the current results by far deciding that I cannot masturbate, I simply have to accept that there is no masturbating unless or until the results and the majority decision changes.

A graph of the current questionnaire results: